(A little look into the brain of a woman who uses mowing the lawn to find some peace and quiet. Three hours on the lawn mower, and this is what my brain comes up with.*)
Lots of people blog. LOTS. Some, however can't be called Bloggers. They just aren't dedicated enough. They don't have that certain something that separates the Bloggers from the bloggers. If you want to know where you stand, take this little test. If you have done at least 10 of them, you, Dear, are a Blogger. With a capital B for Blimey! You might want to find yourself a self-help group.
You Can Call Yourself a Blogger if...
you know what CAPTCHA is, and you have strong feelings about it.
your kids make a huge mess, and you immediately reach for your camera.
someone has ever said to you, "I better not see that on the blog."
your husband gets on the computer and your three year old says, "Are you blogging?"
you categorize your friends as IRL or blog friend.
when you receive an award, your second (or first?) thought is, "Ugh. What are the rules?"
you are not above writing about a trip to the bathroom.
you use words like "blogosphere".
you can host a party without cleaning your house or making any food.
you get a little thrill when someone comments on your post.
you get irrationally excited when one of the popular girls comments on your post.
you curse the internet when it's down, not because you can't pay your bills, but because you can't get on your blog.
you've ever thought, "This is so dumb. Why am I wasting my time, working so hard, writing all of this when no one reads it and so many people are better and I'm not getting paid!?!"
you have said aloud, "I have to get this done before the link closes!" and your spouse looks at you like you have lost your everlovin mind.
And the thought that started this whole thing...
if you mow the grass along the driveway, knowing a mama turkey and her babies live in the trees along the drive, and are actually disappointed that Mama Turkey didn't attack you, because a turkey attack would be an awesome post!
*This post was REALLY funny when I was on the mower. On my couch, not so much. Published it anyway.
Have a lovely day!
Oh I think it's MOST entertaining. I even laughed out loud!ReplyDelete
So did you get irrationally excited to see that it was me that commented...because I am CERTAINLY on of the popular girls. LOL...
Turkey attack would be a great post...fingers crossed for the next time you mow!
*one...grrr, I hate it when my brain reads letters and/or words that are not there until after I hit publish and then I see my errors...Delete
I don't know about Christine, but I certainly get irrationally excited when you comment on MY posts....Delete
Back at ya' Dyanne! :)Delete
Yay for LOL!Delete
Yes, everything about you screams "popular"! :)
I pushed the envelope yesterday. They were walking along the fence on the east side of the house. I took my camera down and followed a bit. Still no attack.
This was funny, even off the lawn mower.ReplyDelete
I am guilty of every one of them, with a variation on the last one, because I don't have turkeys living in my yard.
I don't think OrthoIndy would be able to help you if you DID get attacked by a mama turkey. Something tells me a turkey attack would not be a pretty thing.
Glad you liked it.Delete
So what is your variation?
Yeah, probably an ER run for that one. A friend once had a turkey run into the side of his truck. Caused $800 damage. Can't imagine what it would do to me.
I love your disclaimer. My posts are always better in my head (especially if I'm typing them up at night), yet I hit "publish" anyway. However, your posts are genuinely funny!ReplyDelete
The posts I come up with lying in bed at night are always better, too. :)Delete
Glad you like them.
I've said yes to just about every one of these! I'd have to add that I've said to myself thinking about my husband, "Please do something stupid today so I can blog about it. I've got nothing else to write about!" I saw a pair of women's underwear that says, "I'm going to blog about this!"ReplyDelete
Hahahaha! I thought of this after I posted it. I most certainly want my husband and kids to do stupid things. Much better than making fun of myself. :)Delete
Oooo... I just scored a 13 out of 14. I'm not sure how to fell about that! lolReplyDelete
I was a bit disconcerted myself. :)Delete
LOL! Looks like I'm a Blogger and I need help. I totally get the turkey conundrum though. Whenever something bad happens to me, my immediate thought is: at least I can blog about this!ReplyDelete
Seems there are lots of us in this Blogger boat. Very glad to see it.Delete
I guess we can say that blogging helps us all look at the brighter side of life.
Won't eat a bite of that fabulous food until you take a shot for a blog post.ReplyDelete
Yes, I'm a blogger. This post made me smile.
Have a terrific day. ☺
Oh, how could I forget the food?!?!?!?Delete
Glad you liked it.
This post definitely gave me a laugh, thanks for that. I needed it! I am definitely a blogger.ReplyDelete
Yay for laughing!Delete
A very amusing post which made me smile.ReplyDelete
I can identify with just over half of those, though some don't apply as I don't have kids, spouse, parties or turkeys. Maybe the fact that the minute I get home from work/shopping/gym/dog walking I head straight to the pc and open up my last blog page means that I'm definitely a blogger?
Glad you liked it.Delete
You most definitely are. Welcome to the club!
I am laughing in my cubicle right now. This made my freaking day as I nodded along to almost every point. Oh and the turkeys? Run them over for me, they pooped all over my porch and the girls swing set yesterday morning!ReplyDelete
I'm very glad you got a good laugh out of it.Delete
Oh, that would annoy me. After I was over the astonishment of having turkeys all over my yard, of course. (Do you have any photos of these turkeys?)
I would love to come help you take care of your turkey problem. Name the date.
Holy crap! I scored all of them but the last one! Talk to you soon BLOG FRIEND. LOL!ReplyDelete
Your name is Julia, and you are a Blogger.Delete
I hope so!
SO with you on those 12!
(and does it make me a really bad blog friend if I'm not-so-secretly kinda disappointed you didn't get attacked by the mama turkey, for precisely the reason that it would've made a TOTALLY awesomerockin' post?)
Don't keep that lawn too well mowed now, willya? I'm working on my end of the deal, but there's gotta be some lawn left for me!
Find a support group at a church near you. :)Delete
And the illustrations it would include?!?!? Hilarious. I may just have to make one up. If discovery channel can do mocumentaries, certainly I can.
There will always be some left for you. Are you really working on it? I have some ideas of my own...
Ha! No kidding!Delete
The illustrations would be second to none. Though I think the ninja-pig-rodeo will always hold a special place in my heart :D
You could invent a turkey attack...or just lie in the garden covered in corn and see what happens. One of the kids could set up a hide and be responsible for the photos - be an excellent lesson in patience.
Awesome. Now beginning to realise what a ma-HOU-ssive lawn it is. But YES I'm working on it. Went and got a job, didn't I? That's step 1 ;)
I tried. Got pretty close to her the last time we spotted her. Alas, no attack.Delete
I think the kids would be able to outlast me in the patience department on that one. Perhaps I'll let Phoenix take a nap outside, then cover HIM with corn.
I have no idea what ORLY means.
Aw at least you're still trying. Wonder if you can get a boy-turkey 'come hither' call to test on her...Delete
And YES - I do think Phoenix probably owes you one for the lack of effort (and excess of reward) he got for not helping you drag that dead pig out...
(ORLY is like the *big*, zany, inyerface version of "Oh, really?")
I LOVE it! For one - I too look forward to the 2.5 hours I spend on the lawn mower. Peace and quiet! :)ReplyDelete
And I'm a bit sad - I think I'm only 80% blogger. ;-)
Thanks for sharing even though it didn't seem so awesome "on paper." Because it really was!
Amazing how a machine which the manufacturers recommend the use of ear protection when using is considered "quiet" to parents. :)Delete
Don't be sad. It probably means you have a life outside of your computer. :)
Glad you liked it. Thank you.
i am most certainly uncertain on if i am a Blogger with a capitol B or a blogger with a lowercase b. but stupid wordpress is eating my comments again!!!ReplyDelete
i was hopeful when you mentioned mowing for a dead animal or turkey attack!
I'm going with a lower case for you. You don't seem to be nearly as caught up as some of us.Delete
Stupid wordpress. Seems lots of people are having trouble with WP in general these days.
So disappointing, isn't it?
Oh man....I think I'm a Blogger! Wait. Maybe if I cop to being a blogger, I can skate on.....naah. Once a Blogger always a BLOGGER!ReplyDelete
Hey, at least your mind is active and creative out on the "farm" machines Christine. I always found that after about a half hour on the mower, I'd realize my mind had been a total blank! Would love to claim I was practicing some sort of transcendental meditation but fact is I simply zoned out!
Say it loud and proud. At least here. Don't do it at the grocery store or anything.Delete
Did you see the part that I was out there for three hours. And this is all I have to show for it. There was plenty of zoning on my part. And swearing at the osage orange trees. Always the swearing.
Is there a place to check "all of the above"? That would be me... oh, and one more... You are a blogger if your cellphone beeps in the middle of the night and you see that a new link or comment has been added to your blog, you just have to put on your glasses and read it right then, it can't wait for morning! Yes... I really do that! :-)ReplyDelete
You have taken it to the next level, there Josie! That, I have not done, but it makes me smile that you do!Delete
Well I don't have kids or a husband, but substitute a cat and a few gentlemen friends and I think I have a perfect score.ReplyDelete
Congratulations! I always knew you were a high-achiever.Delete
Is it sad that every single one of those applies? Ok, maybe not the turkeys, but everything else!! I wrote two posts in my head while on my run yesterday and another one while falling asleep. And if I stay up until midnight because I am waiting for a link to OPEN so I can be first, my spouse also looks at me like I've lost my everlovin mind!! Such is the life of a blogger!ReplyDelete
Not sad. We Bloggers understand. The rest of the world might not, but who cares?Delete
Ha! I've only stayed up until it opens on Friday night, when it is the one I co-host goes up. Until I realized, I'm a co-host. I don't have to wait until midnight if I don't want to.
Oh. Oh my. I could use to get irrationally excited...would you go comment on my blog? Paaaahhhleeezzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!! :DReplyDelete
BTW...I thought this was REALLY funny and I haven't had coffee yet.
I'm glad you found it amusing. I was a touch worried.
Oh my gosh, what a hoot! I'm all of these! My family now knows everything they do might show up on the blog. And yes, I'm always taking pictures of the chaos in our life, when other family members are trying to deal w/ the crisis. It's funny how blogging changes your perspective on life, isn't it?!?! HAHA!ReplyDelete
ACK I'm not a Blogger! blogger is fine... it'll do lolReplyDelete
Great list, Christine! I kind of also wish you had been attacked by Turkeys, but only if you had the camera with (but more so a video camera... perhaps C.O.W. could record the action). Either way, I am awaiting to hear of it happening...
Also, I've a laptop so that sucker comes to the bathroom with me whenever able! >.<
Jak at The Cryton Chronicles & Dreams in the Shade of Ink