My Dear Boys,
I'm sure you've heard by now that a certain individual, we'll call her Ciley Myrus, was very inappropriate during a recent performance. There has been all sorts of uproar about it, but every bit of it has been towards and about Ciley. Moms are very worried about their daughters. Specifically, how they don't want their daughters to grow up to be like her.
Sure, I don't want your sister to grow up and act like that, but I am more focused on something else entirely. Ciley wasn't the only one up on that stage. And Ciley didn't get to be this way on her own.
Throughout your life, you will run into girls/women who act very much like Ciley, just not on a national stage. You will see girls/women who don't see any value in themselves as people, but only as body parts. These girls didn't get to be this way on their own. For the most part, these girls are looking for attention, and dancing around in their underwear (for example) is the only way they know how to get it.
Men in their lives have helped convince them it is so.
I don't want you to be part of the problem. I don't want you to, in any way, encourage this behavior. So, I have for you some expectations. Read them. Print them. Post them around. Memorize them.
- If you come across videos, TV shows, print material, or movies that depict girls/women in any inappropriate way, I expect you to turn it off. Walk away. Don't watch it. Don't share it. Even better, run from the room screaming, "My eyes! Make it stop!"
- When you dance with a girl, make sure you are facing each other. And leave some room for the Holy Spirit. Keep in mind, He's a big spirit, needing lots of room.
- Girls may offer to do things for you. Don't take them up on their offers unless you're willing for those girls to do those things in front of your mother.
- Keep your eyes on the girl's face. Even if she is dressed in a way to seriously distract you. Be strong. Eyes up.
- Be a gentleman. Always. Hold doors open. Talk with her about her interests. Ask her for her opinions. While it probably won't ever come up, I wouldn't even mind if you threw your coat over a mud puddle in order to keep her pretty shoes clean.
- Never, ever gossip, talk about anyone's reputation, or write about it on restroom walls.
- If you see a girl in trouble, pull out your inner McFly and solve the problem.
- Just say no. To drinks. To drugs. Your brain doesn't work very well under the influence of these things. If you take them, you will do something stupid. And it will probably be recorded by somebody. Don't do something stupid to ruin your own or a girl's reputation.
- Talk to your dad or me if you are in trouble. If you need help. If you have questions. We've been around and know a few things. You know we love to share our knowledge.
- Study good role models. Pay attention to what respected, honorable men do, and follow their lead. (Your dad would be a good place to start.)
I love you dearly, so I will be watching. While I know that you are good, kind boys, I also know boys sometimes have trouble using their brains. They sometimes have trouble going against peer pressure. Know this. If I ever see or catch you treating any girl/woman in a way that isn't respectful, severe consequences will rain down on your head. Because I love you.
Be kind. Be respectful. Be the boy I know you are. Be the boy God made you to be.