Monday, April 6, 2015

Electronics and My Enmity* for Them

Some people may feel that I'm a bit extreme.

I will own it. I'm OK with being extreme in this case, because really, I don't see a downside to being extreme.

I can't stand to see my kids playing video games.

I hate it.

I'm not a big fan of them watching TV either.

I don't hate it, but I don't like it.

Because of this, my kids' screen time is severely limited.

Severely.

As in, the little kids don't see a screen on school days. On each non-school day, they each get 30 minutes. That's it.

The big kids don't get to touch their PS4 Monday-Thursday, and they only watch TV with us after the little kids go to bed. Between homework and sports, it doesn't happen every day, and it's never for more than an hour. On Friday-Sunday, they each get to play approximately 30 minutes per day. If we're home.

The big kids do have iPods, but they only get to charge them on Sundays. When the charge runs out, they are done for the week. (The iPods are so old, they don't even hold 2 hours of charge.) With their iPods they can use Instagram and play Clash of Clans or whatever game they are currently playing.

Even though we're the ones who bought them, and we bought them 5 years ago, I still cringe every time I see them playing.

Nothing good comes from video games. The time spent on them can be better used exploring in the yard, coloring, bouncing a ball, watching a caterpillar crawl across the porch, playing a board game, dancing to the music in their own heads, reading, jumping in puddles, painting, building something with Legos, and a million other things. Things that improve motor skills, teach patience, build self-esteem, teach math concepts, encourage curiosity, and perfect social skills.

I know parents who say that playing a video game taught their 3 year olds their ABCs or watching Dora taught their kids to speak some Spanish.

I say, "Big deal!" A 3 year old may learn to identify letters from playing a video game, but it makes absolutely no difference to that child's future reading or learning skills. He would learn them anyway at an appropriate time. (From a human person, in context, I would like to add.) But he will not be able to get back the time he could have been riding a bike or creating with Play-doh. Activities that will actually help a child's brain prepare for learning in school.

You can probably guess that I don't let the kids have electronics at restaurants or waiting rooms or anywhere else in public. They need to learn how to interact with strangers, including thanking a waitress when she refills their drinks. While in a waiting room, if their noses were buried in a video game, they wouldn't see the elderly woman who doesn't have a seat, which leads to them not getting up to offer their seats. We can't have that.

"But what about when you or a child is sick?" you ask.

Yeah, the TV goes on immediately. As far as I'm concerned, screens are a tool. There needs to be a purpose for using them. If the TV is on as background noise all the time, it won't be very helpful to me when I am sick and need that TV to draw their attention and keep them from destroying the house and themselves while I suffer on the couch. Luckily, it's a rare day that I get sick.

You can also probably guess that my kids will not be getting iPhones from us. Ever. But that's a post all unto itself.

I wrote 5 different versions of this post. I'm aware that there aren't many tips in it, as my theme was supposed to be. I tried. It just wasn't working. I decided that with this post, I was just going to put my thoughts out here and give people something to think about. If you are a person who would like to cut their kids' screen time down and don't know exactly how, I'll be happy to chat with you. Send me an email or a message on FB or comment here. 

So, what are your thoughts on electronics? How much do you let your kids use them?

Have a lovely day!

*A big word I hope I used properly. It's a hard one to pronounce, so I never use it. But...it's E day.



31 comments:

  1. Hi, my kids are grown and have grandchildren. I happen to know that my kids limited the TV time of their kids, and the tradition is passed on to my great grands. As for the more advanced technology, they are all tech savvy. I like technology; in fact, at the age of 81, I have a desk-top computer, a lap top, two iPads; and a smart phone. I use them all, at varying times. I still love reading a paper book, though. I like the feel turning the pages with my hands, and placing a bookmark or the flap of the book, marking my place. Best regards to you. Come visit my blog, if you so desire. Nice visiting with you! Ruby aka Blabbin' Grammy

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    1. We have exactly the same technology at our house that you do in yours. Technology itself isn't bad. For example, it's extremely helpful for the kids to do schoolwork. Clearly I enjoy it, seeing as how I have a blog and all. :) It's all in how we use them.

      There is nothing like a good, new book in my hands. However, I have made the jump to a kindle. I like reading with it so much better.

      I think I did visit once before. I will be sure to venture back. :)

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  2. WOW Kudos to you! I just go for the "everything in moderation" approach. Seems to work for most things in my life, including kids' electronics.

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    1. When I am cringing, that is what goes through my head. I use it to make sure I don't go super crazy and outlaw video games all together. :)

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  3. I allowed it and too much of it, guilty as charged but my kids were also readers, musicians and into sports so I think there was a balance of sorts. My oldest grandson is a video gamer, my second grandson is not but my lit'l grand-daughter at nearly 2 is fascinated with smart phones and Skype. I suppose I agree with "Just Keepin' It Real, Folks," everything in moderation..

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    1. I wasn't charging you with anything, Mimi! :) There is a balance, and I have a tolerance less than most. Doesn't mean that I'm right for everybody.

      I'm fascinated with Skype and facetime! We had a book club meeting, and one of the members is temporarily in Japan. Thanks to facetime, she was at the meeting, too!

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  4. I allowed it and too much of it, guilty as charged but my kids were also readers, musicians and into sports so I think there was a balance of sorts. My oldest grandson is a video gamer, my second grandson is not but my lit'l grand-daughter at nearly 2 is fascinated with smart phones and Skype. I suppose I agree with "Just Keepin' It Real, Folks," everything in moderation..

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  5. I am amazed at the people that have their heads stuck in whatever electronic they are doing whatever they are doing. They don't have a clue what's going on around them. It's amazing. Then there are the drivers on the freeway that are texting. Frightening and an entirely different post.

    My family can come over for dinner but the electronics go off during the meal. I'm not going to spend hours preparing a great meal to have everyone plugged in with their phones or whatever other gadget they have. This has been working very well.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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    1. Sandee, somehow I knew you'd feel this way. :)

      Oh, don't get me started on the texting in the car. And everything else people are doing. I even saw a person playing the guitar while he was driving. People just make very bad decisions sometimes, and I pray that they don't hurt someone before they learn.

      That is a great rule. I have no doubt it will be a rule when my kids are grown, too.

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  6. This is so, SO me. I am totally anti-video game. It is my plan to never have a gaming system in our home. We don't have cable, so the rare times our old, box-style TV is on is when it is a movie that my husband and I have chosen together to be appropriate. There is so much fun to be had in the world for a kid to get fat sitting on his hiney all day playing a pointless game. We have had so many families come stay with us that just cannot stand the fact that the TV isn't on all the time, or that there are no video games. But I feel great about it!! Kids need to learn how to interact with others, like you say, to find ways to relate to each other outside of favorite celebrities or fashion. So I say, more power to ya!!

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    1. We went without cable for a long, long time. We really only have it so my sports-loving family can watch games.

      We went to visit someone for a week when the kids were little. The family ate dinner in front of the TV. My kids ate basically nothing while we were there until we went out to eat one meal. They scarfed down their food and asked for more. When our host asked why they weren't eating like that at her house, I told her it was because they were too busy watching TV. It was a bit awkward, but we survived. :)

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  7. This is so good! I hate that we need electronics! We lived in Italy for a year and had NO TV, radio, phones even. This was 1981. We lived such different lives. My hubs is more addicted to the TV than our kids though. It's news or sports on all the time. My kids were grown before the video games really became dominant in society, and I thank God for that. I hate needing a cell phone. I wish we'd never invented all this stuff!! Amen, sister!

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    1. Wow! That is going bare bones!! When we were on vacation in the yurt, the kids couldn't believe there wasn't a TV, let alone wifi. They were thinking, "Who does that?!?!" :)

      It has changed just in the last 15 years. When my big kids were little, there wasn't anything like there is today. What there was available had to be plugged into a wall to work. :)

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  8. Neff said to me today, whilst outside "I've got grass stains but that's okay, because if you have grass stains, it means you're playing properly" and I was SO GLAD he made this connection, because this is a child who can whine about being bored WHILST USING HIS DS!

    I was so pleased that I even dragged myself away from my phone to acknowledge what he said, and later, run up and down the street with him while he rode his bike.

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    1. That is wonderful! My motto is, "The messier you are, the more fun you've had!" Go Neff! (And you adults who are letting him get grass stains.)

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  9. Great to read this! I agree! But we don't do it all the same. The kids hardly ever watch TV in the summer (and by TV I mean computer netflix, b/c we don't actually have a TV), but they probably average 1/2 hour a day during the cold months. They watch more when I'm sick ;) We have iPads that we use for homeschool (esp. math drills) and the boys *used* to be allowed to have them in their room for audio books during quiet time until I recently found them playing a game on it. Not. allowed. Besides the iPad we don't have any type of gaming system, and I hope that my husband and I can hold out on that. It seems like electronics for kids are so mainstream now that the kids question the gadget scarcity in our home. I think we might have more luck convincing them that we're going to stick to our *somewhat* stringent regulations regarding screen time if I was on my phone less :( Have to work on that! Thanks for sharing what works for your family.

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    1. It is a whole lot harder to hold the line with video games as the kids get older. We got them a Wii years ago, and I only agreed because they had to be up and moving to play the games. The PS4 didn't come until 4 months ago. With our oldest being 16, I figured it was time, no matter how much I didn't like it.

      I'm with you on the no games in the bedrooms. Using them to read is fine, but when I caught them playing games, that privilege was yanked.

      Technology for school is a whole different ballgame. They need to use computers these days, whether they homeschool or attend school outside the home. They use that computer in a public place (not their rooms), though. :)

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  10. interesting point... (and an illustration of how things actually do change)... it got me thinking about growing up and how much time I spent in/behind a book. Hey, (I thought), isn't that what Christine is talking about, in terms of being child and not engaging the real world.
    But then I thought more about it.... (and at the risk of sounding like an old person), these video games and electric telephones and such are not just different, from my books, but they (the 'electronics') seem to occupy a different position/play a different role, in the lives of the not-old children. I probably am wrong, but it seems that the electronic world fills (or demands) more of the private inner life of a child.

    I'm just guessing, but I am a clark which makes me not-childlike by virtue of the white hair only.

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    1. Clark, you hit on something I have thought about myself. I, too, wondered if reading non-stop was as detrimental as video games. The difference I see, for one, is that books actually help someone learn. Vocabulary, history, different cultures..all sorts of things are learned when a person is reading. However, none of that happens when a child plays a video game. Also, books are at a completely different pace. It is slow and requires patience. Video games rewires a child's brain. Video games are ridiculously fast-paced and are constantly rewarding the child with tokens or lives or whatever it is. The more a child plays, the less patient they become. And they are so addictive, with the child's adrenaline rushing way more than it should...Not like a book at all.

      Although, I have told a child, more than one and more than once, to put the book down and go do something active. :)

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  11. Wow...good for you! My kids have limited electronics. Well, the only electronics they have is a laptop they all share. We don't have a TV and they don't own anything handheld. They are allowed somewhat unlimited use (timewise) of the laptop but they are some qualifications. 1) They all have to share so they have to work that out. 2) They are only allowed to go to certain websites (mainly school, chess and writing) 3) The only game they play on it is chess....they don't play any other video games on it. 4) They are allowed to use it for watching on Amazon Prime for 30-60 minutes in the evening after everything is cleaned up, prayers are said, etc.

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    1. Wow! You've held out way longer than we have. I blame my husband. He doesn't hate them as much as I do. :)

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  12. It is hard to pronounce! I share some of your feelings. I limit screentime, but I am really struggling these days with one child who can't let me out of her sight without panicking and who has hardly any independent play skills. I may be partly to blame for this, but not entirely. You know I'm TX> I just let her play on the iPad yesterday so I could play a few rounds of Dominion with my dad and brother. Otherwise, no one would would have been able to get anything done. And I hate that she spent so much time on it, but I love that I got some time.

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    1. Thank you! When is the last time anyone has used that word?

      I hate that you are struggling with the separation anxiety. It is a bugger. For both of you.

      As for the iPad yesterday, you used it as a tool. She wasn't on it all day. She did plenty of playing with her cousins the rest of the day. You used it in order to give yourself some time with your family. Vacation rules are different than home rules. About almost everything. :) Enjoy your time in Texas.

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  13. Christine, I really believe too much television and video game time destroys brain synapses. I've seen so many children who play so much with techno toys, their language passageways are broken down and they cannot communicate properly. I agree the stuff has it's place, but a small part of the total experience of their lives.

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    1. My posts have been getting way too long for this challenge, so I had to cut some things out in the rewrites. One thing I cut was a section about asking a teacher who has been teaching for over 10 years. I was thinking about you when I wrote it. I knew you would have some opinions on this, as you have worked with kids and seen how they have changed.

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  14. Love you attitude. I'm not for TV for my little one too; not in a long time if I can help it. It's massively helped me to cut down on my TV time and be more productive. You're very right that there are things that screens can supposedly teach them, but these are things they'll most likely learn anyway later; however, the time the screen takes from vital life engagement can not be replaced. Screens are definitely a tool that should serve us and not the other way round. Good post, woman! #aNoviceMumCommentLuv

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  15. My youngest is 19 (today), and we still have Bob hooked up to our TV: http://www.amazon.com/BOB-Screen-Manager-Manage-Video/dp/B000GU78UY
    Now, time for me to get off the computer and do something productive! (I think that limiting screen time is good, no matter what the age.)

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  16. My kids weren't allowed to play any kind of video game during the week. Most of the time, they forgot about them on the weekend anyway. I hate seeing those kids with their noses buried in a hand held game. And babies and toddlers and even preschoolers using tablets and apps for "educational" games? Ridiculous! And you're right, knowing the alphabet that early, or even reading that early, is no indication of future school performance.

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  17. i love this- I am not a fan either but it is everywhere - and yes I agree in moderation - in very low moderation- on the other hand it has helped my kids socialize and fit in and what I mean about that is that along with their friends and cousins they had a common knowledge or common ground ground and it has helped - but they know the rules and in this household it is limited too, and they follow it - what I am noticing in the last few days James and his friends are talking about bike riding because the weather is getting nicer and Amelia wants to go play in the yard yay !

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  19. Well, you know I'm all for movement, so I applaud keeping electronics to a minimum!

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Thank you for taking the time to tell me what you're thinking!