Wednesday, October 30, 2013

I Should Have Eaten a Blizzard and Read a Book

On Monday night, I had one whole, kid-free hour and one half of another hour to kill while Star had basketball practice.  I decided to go shopping for school pants for Turken, and brown dress pants and a bra for me.

This is how my free hour and a half went down:

Boys' department, second floor
One wall of school pants.
Sizes 4,5,6,7,8
Slim, regular, husky

Choose size 5 regular
Done.

Ladies' department, first floor
Various brands of pants scattered throughout the floor
Sizes 4,6,8,10,12,14,16,18
high-waist, mid-rise, low-rise
straight-leg, boot-cut, skinny, flare
crop, floods, ankle length, heel length
modern fit, boyfriend, curvy, trouser
corduroy, houndstooth, stripes, plain

Grab 10 in various sizes and colors, head to the fitting room
too tight in the rear, too tight in the thighs, too short, looks ridiculous, ugly, has that damn gap on my back for the kids to toss quarters into
Sweat buckets and sit for a spell to recover from the exertion
Leave all 10 pairs in the fitting room

Lingerie department, first floor, in front of windowed entrance from parking lot
various brands boxed, hanging, lying on tables
Sizes 32,34,36,38
Cup sizes A,B,C,D
wire or no wire
padding or no padding
lace or no lace
wide straps, thin straps, no straps, 5-way straps
pink, nude, black, white

Grab smallest one that doesn't say "training" (My girls may be small, but they're already trained), head to the fitting room
too tight around, too loose in the front
Cry when realize size 36 H(alf-filled water balloon) would be the perfect size
Leave bra in the fitting room

Slog out to van carrying one pair of school pants

Decide my one pair of well-worn black pants and three stretched-out, thinning bras are perfectly fine.

Have a lovely day!

31 comments:

  1. Oh, the "joys" of shopping! Sorry you had such a frustrating time.

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    1. Thanks. The older I get the more I understand my grandma's elastic waistbands.

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  2. ug. Guys have it so easy. Oh your a 42 slim ok, thats how you are in every brand... not the same with us ladies. If you find the time you should find the place that does bra fittings. It was the best thing I ever did and you do not need to go the a Victoria Secret to do it.

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    1. Ugh! I went to Victoria Secret YEARS ago. Horrible! They will tell you are a a bazillion sizes bigger than you are (which, you know, that may be ok to some of you girls...but they had me in a DD...which I am NOT! More like a C..then, when I went back to buy a dang bra after the one they sold me wore out...and they had EVERY size smaller and EVERY size bigger--but not MY ONE SIZE. When I asked a sales lady, "Oh, yeah...we only sell that size online" WHAT!? SO STUPID. Anyway, for that reason, I won't go there. That's not to say, you or you or you, won't have a fabulous experience there. :)

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    2. I know! How hard is it to do the same for us?? Yes, the bra fitting will be my next step. I need to drive farther to get to a store which does them. It seems my chest changes every time I get new bras.

      Kari, tell us how you really feel about Victoria and her secret. :) I won't go there. There's a place around here that is more my granny panty speed.

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  3. Ack! I feel for ya! I have this horror coming up at the weekend! I'm still shit scared of the experience, though I have to say, I did watch an information video by Marks & Spencer last night, and now I *think* I know what STYLE of bra I need to look for (HOW DO GIRLS KNOW THIS STUFF?!??!?!)


    Also, Xpond mistranslation - I was rather surprised by you sharing about *quite* such an intimate shopping trip with all and sundry...until I remembered that 'pants' is different there :p

    Going now...

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    1. At least you have a video you can watch!! We old folk had to go by trial and error. Not pretty.

      Ha! I forgot when I wrote this that your pants are very different from ours. While there are different kinds of underwear, they aren't nearly the struggle that trousers are. :)

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    2. There - my gift to you - http://www.marksandspencer.com/MS-TV/b/311612031?intid=emtv_376_401_1821336122001

      (and less of the 'old folk', if you please - I took a test the other day and my 'mental age' is apparently 40, which I'm happy with, because that's gonna be my 'good age' - but it's by NO means old)

      And yes. Very HUGELY different. And the lack of translatability just makes everything so much more funny :D But no, shopping for them is easier unless you're trying something new. I tend to find a formula which works and stick with it.

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  4. I need a really good mental health day, and some Xanax to go bra shopping.

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    1. It is a miserable experience every single time.

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  5. Hey...just pointing out you could have called someone who lives close by and SHE MIGHT have gone shopping with you. You may not have come home with anything more than you did, but you MIGHT have been more entertained...just sayin' ;)

    Although as I think about it, she MAY have already been in her jammies...and notice that I don't even know what time it was when you went...

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    1. Hahahaha!!! You would have been in your PJs well before I called. Practice was from 7:30-9.
      It would have been much more entertaining if you were there. :)

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  6. Bla I hate shopping and trying on clothes. My eyes are still trained to pick up the size jeans I wore in high school. Talk about some disappointment in the dressing room when I can't get even one leg in lol!

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    1. My eyes still drift to the size I was two years ago. Horribly disappointing. And those lights and mirrors do nothing to help.

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  7. Sounds like my last shopping spree. I was worn out and got absolutely nothing for me. I can so relate.

    Have a terrific day. ☺

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    1. I don't know if I'd call it a shopping spree if I didn't get anything for myself. Spree sounds too much like Wheeeee, which is a fun thing.
      Why does it have to be so difficult???

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  8. "Comfortable and sexy" as I like to think and absolutely nothing wrong with that. ;P

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    1. I'm with you on the comfortable. I'm thinking COW might disagree with the sexy. :)

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  9. I'm an insomniac, so it gets to a point where the only thing on TV (have to use the TV to turn my brain off at some point - worse without) is infomercials. I came across a new one the other night for a new bra system by Jockey based on "volumetrics." They apparently send you a starter kit with various sized cups. You stick them to your girls to figure out the right volume for your bra, measure around your ribcage and send them those two numbers to get your new perfectly-sized bra. Made me laugh thinking about doing my own "cast" of my girls to take with me bra shopping. That way, I could just walk around, see one I like and stick the cast in it to see if it fits. ;)

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    1. Hahaha!! That is hilarious. Good thing I didn't see it after I got home Monday night. I would have been on the phone in a hot second.

      And really, they need to change the name of their system. "Volumetrics" is not a word I want associated with my girls.

      The thought of walking into a store, handing them the casts, and saying, "I want something to fit these" makes me laugh so hard.

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  10. I can SO relate to this! ...especially the "Decide my one pair of well-worn black pants and three stretched-out, thinning bras are perfectly fine"part. Yep. My bras are so worn out...but the process of shopping for new ones is so agonizing, I avoid it like the plague.

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    1. It is waaaaay past time for me to be tackling this errand. And yet... I think I'd rather go without a bra than go through the torture of finding new ones.

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  11. hahahahaha! Laughing with you, not at you, of course! I'm dying over here cuz you just described my HORROR when trying to find jeans. To a "T" might I add. Bras are not as bad for me since I found the secret...Nordstroms! You walk into the lingerie dept (typically not busy at all), and a nice lady will measure you privately, then let you wait in the dressing room while SHE brings you loads of bras to try on! It's magic. I try not to pay attention to the sizes or I'll end up in the fetal position crying. they should really change those, like in that commercial where all the jeans sizes are words like "fabulous" and "sensational" instead of numbers. That commercial actually makes me tear up. ANYway, great post. I could feel your pain!!! But I had to laugh cuz it's sooooo true - ugh! Double ugh!

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    1. I have experienced the gorgeousness of Nordstrom when I had to buy a dress for a Christmas party. Unfortunately, the store is downtown, which is 45 minutes from my house. Ain't nobody got time for that! (I can't believe I just wrote that last sentence.)
      I never saw that commercial. What a wonderful world it would be if sizing went like that.

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  12. Oh, that sucks!!! I hate clothes shopping for myself as well, as the clothes never fit the way they should (or used to??). Don'T give up, find a brand and style that works, and STOCK UP!!

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    1. I shall look high and low. Far and wide. I will find a pair that fits if it's the last thing I do!

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  13. Oh my god that is my life! Right down to the part where I walk out and decide my old pants and stretched out bras will do just fine, thank you.Seriously how hard is it to make shopping reasonable for women? I laughed out loud about the part where you took a break from the exertion. That is precisely what happens to me in a dressing room. So glad that it's universal.

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  14. Oh my god that is my life! Right down to the part where I walk out and decide my old pants and stretched out bras will do just fine, thank you.Seriously how hard is it to make shopping reasonable for women? I laughed out loud about the part where you took a break from the exertion. That is precisely what happens to me in a dressing room. So glad that it's universal.

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  15. Oh god, nothing dents your pride more than pants shopping, except perhaps swimsuit shopping.

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  16. So perfectly true!! I don't even venture into new stores because I can't amster all of the sizing differences. None of my bras fit, at all! The bright side to this is at least you weren't toting three kids with you, right?!

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  17. I happily received a hefty gift card for Christmas last year, and spent 2 hours trying on bras the reward of nice fitting, firm, and non jiggly ness was worth the effort of 2 hours of trying every size and style. But it was not a quick stop. When I got home Keith asked what took so long I threw the bag at him and rolled my eyes. And forget buying them online UNLESS it is your favorite style and size and you just tried it on in the store and you know the pin number

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Thank you for taking the time to tell me what you're thinking!