Thursday, October 10, 2013

Things I Collect for No Darn Good Reason

My name is Christine, and I am a collector.

I hate that I have to admit that.  I could have sworn I wasn't.  It just doesn't fit my personality.  I hate chotchkes.  I strongly dislike stuff covering every inch of flat surface.  I read a post recently* in which a woman discussed collections, then asked if we, the readers, collected anything.  I answered (in my head) a loud and definitive, "HECK NO!"  In all caps.

And then I started walking around my house.

I have collections everywhere!!

Are they out in the open cluttering up every surface in the house?

No.

They are all hidden away from public viewing.  And really, any viewing, as I tend to avoid the areas where these items are stashed.  But I searched them out just for you.  Because my brain could think of nothing else to write.  Sorry.

People, I actually made this button all on my own.  Buttercup was already in bed, and since she's a bit of the worst kind of bear when she doesn't get her beauty rest, I had to go it alone.  Yes, it's a boring button, and it's not centered, but it's my boring, off-center button.

1.  Egg cartons.


Hundreds of egg cartons.  Which translates to spots for thousands of eggs.  As soon as people heard we were raising chickens, they started collecting cartons for us.  They are so sweet to do it for us, so of course I don't say, "No, we have enough".  I just take them with a big smile and a gracious thank you and start another stack in the basement.  Why?  Because one day we will be great farmers, with chickens who are stellar layers, laying not one, not two, but three eggs a day.  Each!  We'll be happy to have these cartons then.

2.  Beer Koozies


For all the beer we don't drink.

I keep 22 Koozies in a cooler in our basement.  (We have lots of coolers, which, I now realize, was our first collectable.  We got married in the age of "Newly Married Couples Must Go on Lots and Lots of Picnics" which required everyone to buy one for us.  We received 4 picnic baskets and 6 coolers at our wedding shower.)  Not one of these koozies has ever been used.  See that fancy one with the "Didgeri..." on it?  Still has a tag.  Even the cool one with the neck strap has failed to see the light of day.  Why do we keep them?  Good question.  I forgot to mention in my "what am I looking forward to" listicle that COW and I are going to become huge drinkers of cheap beer, lounging around in our underwear on the front porch.  It's hot in the summer, and there's nothing worse than warm beer covered in "sweat".

3.  Paint


We have painted exactly 4 rooms in this house.  Kitchen, dining room, little boys' room, and big boys' room.  So why do we have 16 gallons of paint?  Because the people who lived here before us painted lots of rooms, and kept the paint.  Apparently, I hate to be the one who breaks tradition.  That, and we're too lazy to find a place to dispose of it.

4.  Flimsy Draw-string Backpacks


It seems every couple of years there is a new "it thing" to pass out for free.  At the fair, at Turkey trots, at soccer games, with the purchase of a pair of shoes.  One year it was water bottles.  I miss the days when it was pencils.  I love a good #2 (pencil).  For the last couple of years, the thing has been these backpacks.  Feast your eyes, People, on the largest collection known to athletes everywhere.  These 25 are the ones being stored under our bed (with the 30 other bags of varying types).  There are at least 15 floating around the house as Scout bags, library book bags, overnight bags and more.  Why do I keep them?  Because we want to be ready in case of emergency.  Just picture me standing with the bags, passing them out to the children while I scream, "Hurry!  You can only take with you what fits in this bag! Move!  Move!"  And we'll have 15 people staying with us at the time, so we'll need all those extras.

5.  Strollers and other baby necessities


We have four umbrella strollers, one double stroller, a seat to attach to a bike for the baby to ride in, and 4 booster seats in the basement.  Why?  Because, clearly, we believe God, with his infinite sense of humor, will "bless" us with quadruplets any day now.  And one of us will go so crazy we will take that bike in the photo, strap on the bike seat and the favorite child, and ride off into the sunset.  COW was a Boy Scout.  "Be Prepared" is the motto of the scouts.  (No, really, it is.  There's a song that says so and everything.)

Shoes, and not fun, pretty ones.



This is the shoe cubby which you once saw in the tour of our old kitchen.  In preparing for the remodel, we moved the cubby to the basement, shoes included.  Not one of those shoes has been touched since.  Why?  It seems we're worried that the government will never reopen, and the country will shut down.  We are prepared to run as far as we need in order to find food and water.

6.  Chargers


We have a drawer in the built-ins in the dining room specifically for the care and keeping of chargers.  In this photo, there are 20 of them.  There are more still in the drawer.  I got too tired pulling these out to go any farther.  You will notice some of them are wound up and rubberbanded.  About 6 months ago, in a fit of "Where the hell is my camera cord?!?!" I organized the drawer a bit.  Do I know what all of these cords are used to charge?  Heavens, no.  I do know some, though.  Like the cord for the phone I owned two years ago.  The phone which died and meant Giant was unable to reach me when I accidentally left him at home.  I have no idea why I still have the charger, so don't ask.  (And yes, after taking this picture, I put it right back in the drawer.)  I keep most of them, though, because I don't know to which electronics they belong.  As soon as I throw some cords away, you will find me at the drawer, electronic in hand, painstakingly going through all the ones we still have, trying desperately to shove a rectangle into a square, looking for the charger that fits, muttering, "See? THIS is why we shouldn't throw them away!"

I have no doubt there are more "collectables" around somewhere.  Like the stack of baseball caps in a family who doesn't play baseball or wear baseball caps ever.  Or the plastic grocery bags, from all the times I forget to bring my reusable ones into the store.  We don't use them in the kitchen for trash anymore, so there are gobs of them littering the mudroom.  I'm getting depressed just thinking about it. 

To cheer me up, why don't you tell me about something you collect for no good reason.

Have a lovely day!

*As longtime readers know, my memory ain't what it used to be.  I could not find the blog or the post.  If it was you, or if you know who wrote it, please let me know.  I'd like to put a link to her post in there.

44 comments:

  1. OMG - I am sitting here laughing my ass off! Aside from strollers and egg cartons, we have all these EXACT collections! hahaha! You did such a good job categorizing, photographing, and describing them with such humor! I must say, though, that a lot of our collections are all my husbands fault - I swear! I'm the Queen of Throw Away around here. It panics him. He even goes through the trash (no joke) to make sure I didn't throw away anything "important" (whatever) and pulls things OUT OF THE TRASH (lunatic). He is the reason we have a koozi collection fer sher. He is also the reason for the giant "shit we will never use again in our entire lives" collection currently taking up 80% of our garage. but the tote bags....omg....you're right...they keep showing up....I think they might even breed....I can't even keep them under control as the Queen of Throw Away...UGH.

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    1. I love to get rid of stuff! Goodwill loves me. That's why these collections are so completely surprising to me.
      I'm totally going to throw COW under the bus now. You know those shoes in the cubbies? 5 pairs are his. The koosies? I asked him to toss them years ago, but he wouldn't let me.
      To see what I mean about my husband, check out an old post:
      http://a-fly-on-our-chicken-coop-wall.blogspot.com/2012/05/fodder-for-blog.html

      Does your husband do that, too?
      I can't believe I forgot to mention it in this post!

      Delete
  2. I have a ton of koozies too. I like getting them from places I travel. Joe and I pick out an ornament on every trip or day trip we go on- and I also love getting postcards!

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    1. See, ornaments is a collection I could get behind. Tucked away until they are actually used for decorating a temporary tree. I get that.
      Postcards could be fun, too.

      Delete
  3. You could have a heck of a yard sale girl. The yard salers could carry away their goods in their new draw string backpacks. Heck, throw those babies in for free. What a bargain!!!!

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    1. We had one yard sale 8 years ago, and I swore I would never do it again. However, I did sell a stack of tractor hats we got at the state fair. Each year we go, and each year all the kids get a free hat. I sold 16 of them for a few dollars.
      If I were to ever have a garage sale, I'd pass out the bags and tell everyone to fill them up!

      Delete
  4. The BIGGEST collection in our house is BOOKS. Books, books, EVERYWHERE. Before we sold our house and hit the road, we donated over 650 books to our local library. Then we packed up over 60 book boxes! My husband has a collection of coffee mugs, AND he he has baseball caps. You will NEVER see him without a hat unless he is at home. I used to collect music boxes and David Winter cottages. Now they are packed up and I am debating whether to drag them out and display them or just get rid of everything. I'm leaning toward the latter.

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    1. That's a lot of books!
      We have closets full of books, too. So many books. I almost put those in here, but a book collection actually makes sense. Books are awesome. There's nothing awesome about the other things I collect.
      Let me know what you decide with the village. Not that I'll want it. :)

      Delete
  5. What about the collection of keys from old cars, old houses, and who knows what else?

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    1. Hahaha! We used to have those, too. We got rid of them when we moved. :)

      Delete
  6. I can totally relate! I collected plastic bags, paper bags, boxes, books, wine bottles, perfume bottles, ribbons, beer mugs, shot glasses, little angel figurines and I could go on and on and on. I had to let go of many when we moved to a new apartment and I wanted to go minimalist. I still have my plastic bags and paper bags though. :)

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    1. I will love you forever if you tell me your current plastic bag collection isn't a new stash, but the stash you had at the old place and moved to the new one. Really, I will.

      Delete
  7. We have loads and loads of books. And DVDs. And shopping bags.

    I have a (small-but-growing) collection of pretty shoes.

    But I think that's about it.

    OH. And unopened letters from the bank (just statements) cos I can't bear to deal with them, but know they're too important to throw away.

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    1. We have shelves and shelves of books, too. Not so many DVDs. (We actually have more VCR tapes than DVDs. (Yes, you may crack up laughing at that statement.))

      HOW COULD I FORGET THE STATEMENTS?!?!?!?! Ugh. COW insists on keeping every single statement we've ever gotten. Cashed Bank checks from 16 years ago are still in our possession. (you probably didn't even have a bank account back when they would send you the actual cashed checks you wrote each month.)

      Delete
    2. I got out of VCRs as soon as I could - they go wonky too quickly and take up too much space.

      Yeah that's what I've learned is good practice. But it's SO MUCH EFFORT. So they lie in drifts around the house, like autumn leaves, cluttering up corners and surfaces. (cashed cheques? no - I'm way too young for that... ;) )

      Delete
  8. This was such a fun read, Christine, you had me laughing during my lunch break! After seeing your list of "collectibles" I know that I don't even want to roam my house in search of such photos, opportunities would abound everywhere. I have to give you due credit, as all of yours are actually collected together as a set, the older I get the more I tend to collect in "piles" on top of tables and in the corners... I can see it now, when they come for my body it will take a shovel to dig me out of the mess! :-))

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    1. I'm glad!
      Ha! I hadn't thought about my collections being organized. That is hilarious.
      Be nice to your kids and buy the shovel. Store it by the front door. :)

      Delete
  9. I have a collection of magnets on the fridge. I try to throw them away but it's like they're regenerating.

    I also have a lovely assortment of Indy-fur tumbleweeds. I promise that I sweep every week, sometimes more than once, but they regenerate faster than even the magnets.

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    1. Aha! Magnets! Another lovely change from our old kitchen. The steel fridge won't hold magnets on the front, and the sides are covered by cabinets now. No magnets cluttering up my fridge. Can't say I was sad to see them go.
      Tumbleweeds are no fun. I have them, too, but since I don't have indoor dogs, I'm a bit confused as to where they came from. :)

      Delete
  10. I'm with Kris I have magnets from all the places we travel, the kids travel, Keith travels. Neat and tidy on my freezer in the pantry, the fridge in the kitchen (full fridge only no freeze on it) is filled up with crap.

    Paper is what I seem to collect. Coupons from well meaning friends, stacks and stacks of coupons I keep dumping them in the same place and collect for a full month before I sit down to cut them...

    Pictures since I am obsessed with taking pictures of my children or getting professional ones taken.

    Half finished projects I seem to collect them, they pile up on my craft dresser, the floor in front and on my sewing dresser.

    Clothing (but then you and the whole world knows that now from the JBF sale...)

    that was a fun blog to read! and I have a few egg cartons to send on to you now. Which ever child was collecting recycling set them on the counter behind the mixer (how or why I have no idea) but I just found 3..

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    1. I am glad to be rid of the fridge clutter.
      Oh, the paper!!! Kids require so much paper! We have a pile on the end of the kitchen island. We're much better at keeping it tamed, but we can never seem to get rid of it.
      Projects are a big pet peeve of mine. Can't tell you how many times the kids start, but never finish, a project and leave it there for days/weeks/months.
      Yes, we saw the clothing. :)
      I'm glad you liked it!
      Ha! I'll pick them up next time I'm in your neighborhood. :)

      Delete
  11. I started collecting Starbucks City Mugs, just because I wanted to collect something useful (and I do indeed use the heck out of them!). Love your little accidential collections! I already have way too many of these drawstring backpacks as well, and try to find a good use for them. Lily's currently using one as her gym bag, but what about the others??

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    1. I have no problem with a collection that can be used. Makes perfect sense. You need coffee mugs, why not have a theme?
      There are just so many bags! And they are far from being an ideal size for most things. So few practical uses.

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  12. Ridiculous! I have the same charger and paint collection! A few years ago I could've matched your egg carton collection. No I do not have chickens, but I was teaching preschool. Apparently, they are a crafting necessity.

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    1. What are the odds?!?! :)
      Hahaha!! I used to collect a few egg cartons when the big kids were little. Every Family Fun magazine or craft book assumes the reader has plenty of egg cartons lying around. :)

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  13. Wish I could help cheer you up but there is absolutely nothing that I collect for no good reason.

    My name is Diane and I am a hoarder. There. I said it.

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  14. 2. I throw those things away all the time, and two appear in the place of every one I toss. 3. We inherited paint, too! And have painted four rooms: living room, family room, and each kid's room. And have eleventy-seven cans of paint in the basement. 4. The good news is they tear easily enough that you have an excuse to throw them away. 5. I'm not even going there. A whole lot of them are size 15 and take up a ridiculous amount of space. 6. And I'm not allowed to throw ANY OF THEM AWAY. Even if I KNOW whatever they once charged is obsolete.

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    1. 2. They do multiply like mice. 3. Seems pretty ridiculous to save, yet most people do it, it seems. 4. They do tear, if they actually get used. 5. I have no doubt. The size 13 take up enough room. 6. I have no idea why I'm so attached to the blasted wires. Maybe someday we'll get something with the same plug?? I think not.

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  15. OMG I am laughing so hard I can't breathe - this could be our house! Chargers - got 'em. Those stupid backpacks - not nearly as hefty as your stash, but got 'em. We also have a ridiculous collection of coffee mugs - you know the kind you get as gifts or pick up because they're cool? Every couple of years we purge them and vow never to do it again....clearly we have a problem.

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    1. I love it when I make people laugh!
      We finally got rid of the coffee mugs. Mostly. COW insisted on keeping some from his Boy Scout years, despite the fact neither of us drink coffee.

      Fun thing to do to get rid of the mugs (I've done it two different years): Bring a big bag of coffee mugs to a Christmas elephant exchange. Sure, the receiver will shoot daggers your way, but you will rid yourself of 20 unused mugs!

      Delete
  16. Ok I have a SOLUTION to 3 of your "collections"
    but you have to be willing to let them go...
    1 PAINT donate the unused paint to the local high school fine art department for use in set and art class. We use almost all donated paints on our sets
    2 CINCH SACKS take them and put a roll of TP and a toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, granola bars water bottle in a BEER KOZIE and some sort of non melty treat to give to the homeless guy at the intersection who you try to avoid eye contact with, now you can roll down your window and pass on a gift. The food and TP they will like, oral hygiene not sure about, but the bag is useful and the beer kozie not so useful got out of your house...
    anyway just a suggestion. the EGG CARTON, yeah I've got nothing UNLESS you give it to the kids with some glue and let them build forts out of them???

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    1. I can't tell you how happy you have made me by thinking on my dilemma, then coming back hours later with solutions for me.
      Great idea for the paint! I'll have to track down some people who have kids in theater.
      2. Even better idea!!
      How did you get to be so smart?
      Oh, can you imagine the mess of broken up egg cartons all over my house??? No, thanks. We'll just have to try every single craft made with egg cartons. We may not have enough cartons for that, though.

      Delete
  17. I have many of these collections as well.... paint-yes. drawstring backpacks-yes (although, just the other day, I literally threw away more than half our stash, only kept the nicer, in better condition ones, I think I'm down to a doable 5-7 of them), cords-yes, lots of them (not near as neat 'n tidy as yours though) .... we have "collections" (er, JUNK) ALL OVER OUR HOUSE...and garage... and...basement. I can only be blamed for some of it though, my husband <--biggest packrat ever! "don't throw that away, we 'might' need that 'someday'". I can 100% relate to the bank statements (and taxes) ---we have them from 15 *or so* years ago (and not because *I* want to keep them) We seriously need to purge!

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    1. I love how we all blame our husbands for the collections. Not that they don't deserve the blame, but we're all so quick to say, "It's him, not me."
      I really, really want to get rid of the papers.

      Delete
  18. We use koozies for soda, it helps to keep track with whose is whose! otherwise they take a sip, set it down, and then don't know where it is/whose it is and then they just open another one, and my head explodes.

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    1. Oh, that's a good use for the koozies!! We don't have pop normally, but at parties, wasted cans are everywhere! It most certainly is a reason for head explosions.

      Delete
  19. Hubby works at a bank, and he brings home approximately 50 pens per day. I have pens up to my eyeballs. I am swimming in pens. Want a pen??

    I have a lot of the toys I had as a kid in bins. I guess I am hoping they will still be cool when we have kids. Fat chance - ha!!!

    We have the paint collection, too. I am not sure how long it takes paint to go bad, but I am sure ours is. Also, hubby has a strange thing where he keeps LOADS of oil jugs. We probably have like 30 at least. It's weird LOL.

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    1. Ha! I forgot about the office stuff. My husband doesn't bring pens, but paper clips. So many paper clips. And not those little silver ones, but the big, clamp type. So, so many.

      The toys will be cool because they don't make noise. It is a requirement that all toys now come with buttons and noise and a need for a ton of batteries.

      How old is too old for paint? Good question. Oil jugs, huh? No, that's not weird at all... (Yes it is.) :)

      Delete
  20. Strangely, I was recently contemplating egg cartons as I was separating trash/recyclables the other day. I decided that instead of buying bubble wrap to stuff into boxes this year when shipping holiday gifts, I'll use the empty cartons for cushion! I hate those beer koozie things. They remind me of those padded toilet seats. There are some things that just feel WRONG lol. As for the paint, someone above had a great idea of donating them to the high school for painting sets, etc. If not the drama department, you could check with the marching band. They often use props that need to be painted as well. I have the same problem with chargers and cords in general. I haven't done it yet, but I've been stockpiling those plastic things that come on a loaf of bread - a Pinterest find - write what the cord is for and pop the tag on it.

    As far as collections go, I used to be in the book category, but I lost a lot in Hurricane Katrina. Then I gave up a bunch more at the time of my last move - everything is digital these days. I did keep my favorites though. There is something about a "real" book. I also collect Dept. 56 Dickens Village pieces which are great, but a pain in the butt to set up and get all of the lights situated. I keep threatening to put the village up from Sept-April just to make it worth the effort. It does look really pretty though. I also amassed a rather large collection of goofy keychains - toys, games, tools and that sort of thing. I also have an old Madame Alexander doll collection I don't know what to do with. They've been sitting in boxes for about a million years now. Oh, and thumb tacks. That's the other one ... I'm always picking up tacks, but I no longer have a bulletin board at work to use them on. Some are typewriter keys, cartoon characters, all kinds of things.

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    1. You are brilliant!!!!! Egg carton packing is a great idea! I shall now steal it.

      Shoot, I would think about leaving it up all year long.

      I do think those keychains are fun. Especially the ones like the itty bitty Simon game.

      Delete
  21. Oh how funny! I'm pretty sure we've got that same collection of shoes and chargers. On top of that, if I head out to the garage, I'm going to see a bunch of sports gear we never use!!! And I'm the world's worst for letting go of clothes.. :(

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    1. Fortunately, we don't have too much in the way of sports gear. The kids wear their cleats so much, they wear out before they outgrow them. Soccer and cross country don't require much gear, anyway. Very happy about that.
      Oh, I can let go of clothes faster than anything. Except those really, really cute ones all the kids wore. Gotta keep those.

      Delete
  22. Oh, the charger pile! I had one of those. I saw on pinterest you can label empty toilet paper rolls with Magic Markers and tuck each charger it its own roll. I now have all my rolls tucked in a drawer. If I could just get people to put them back, it would be great.

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Thank you for taking the time to tell me what you're thinking!