Today's Monday Listicle is "10 Things I First Notice about Someone".
I am a people watcher. I so enjoy observing others, and seeing what they do, how they interact, and their choices in personal hygiene. I like to try to figure out their stories, their relationships. I know I'm wrong almost every time, and there is no way to know anyone's story by simply observing them from afar, but I still enjoy doing it.
Oh, the conundrum...
Do I admit to being judgmental and turn you all against me? by saying things like, "I notice if you're wearing pajama pants someplace other than your house. I love to wear pajama pants, seeing as how they're so comfortable and all. However, when you leave the house, GET DRESSED! For the love, it's not that hard to put on a pair of real pants."
Or do I go safe and boring, although sometimes a bit creepy? I always notice people's eyes. That's boring, until I add... Especially one of Phoenix's friends. He has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen, and I just can't take my eyes off of them. Even when I'm watching the boys play in a basketball game, I just look at this kid's eyes. I'm sure the poor boy is completely creeped out by me.
I think I'll go semi-safe. On Thursday, I received a text that read, "Want to go see Tim McGraw tonight? (a friend) backed out at the last minute, so I have an extra ticket."
Will it be way past my bedtime? yes.
Do I even know any Tim McGraw songs? One, I think.
Do I want to go? Heck, ya!
So I went. I gotta tell ya, there is some goooood people watching to be had at a Tim McGraw concert, my friends.
And for the list...
10 Reasons I Noticed People at the Tim McGraw Concert
1. Honey, it looks like you outgrew that outfit when you were 14. How about you head on to the stores and get yourself some clothes that actually cover your assets. And by "assets" I mean your butt and your boobs and your belly. Just to be clear.
2. Sir, if you were with me, I'd pop you. You are really making it hard for your lady to dance with your hand in her back pocket the entire evening.
3. Excuse me, ladies, but there are six of you and one little boy which you seem to be sharing. I'm just dying to know what the situation is. Can you at least tell me which one of you is the mom? Are you all related? Are you sister wives? Why aren't there any men? This boy could grow one of two ways: the best husband in the world, as he knows women, or the worst husband ever, as he's spoiled rotten and would expect it from his wife. Give me just a hint.
4. Ma'am, where are your teeth? Perhaps, instead of splurging on pavilion seats, you could have sat in the grass and used that saved money for some chompers?
5. Older Lady with the outfit my daughter wore when she was 5, I recognize those dance moves. You are a fan of High School Musical, aren't you?
6. Tim, why are you singing a love song with Taylor Swift? You are married to a famous singer. Why not sing it with your wife?
7. People wandering around in the dark, looking for your cars in the humungous grassy parking lot, stinks to be you. Although, it's good for me. You are quite enjoyable to watch.
8. Lady doing her hair after leaving the bathroom stall, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE WASH YOUR HANDS!!!! And now, as you leave, I will vomit in my mouth.
9. Awww, older couple slow-dancing while everyone is sitting through the third slow song in a row. Many happy years to you!
10. Grumpy boys in yellow "security" polos, um, I can't take you seriously. You are an 18 year old making sure no one stands in the aisle. You are not the secret service guarding the president. Smile a bit. Or at least do something besides grunt. You aren't old enough, nor fit enough, for me to actually trust you if an emergency were to break out. Try to be a bit more polite. I actually have a friend who is a secret service agent guarding the president. He's not as grumpy as you.