Dear Mother Nature,
I hate you.
(In Mother Nature years, I'm still a teenager.)
I took the kids to Kentucky for a wonderful day of spring weather, baby lambs and all. (most adorable photos will come tomorrow) The kids even got a sunburn after being outside for 6 hours straight.
Gorgeous day, I tell you.
Then we came home. It is snowing in Indiana. Again.
The weathermen and their yardsticks are back. Even the snow plows are sliding off the road.
Bah. $%&*. Humbug.
According to the calendar, and many, many people who live in better parts of the country, spring is here, so Stasha has chosen the topic 10 Things Spring for our Listicle today.
Here are ten things our family would be doing if Mother Nature got her act together and flipped the flippin' spring switch.
1. Gathering/chopping/mulching the branches and twigs littering the yard. It's been a long, windy winter, so there a whole mess of them out there. We will then be able to spread that mulch all over our "flower" beds. There won't be any flowers in the flower beds, seeing as how the dogs find the flower beds to be the best places to dig holes and have a little lie down.
2. Disposing of the dead animals the dogs have killed over the winter. First up is the massive opossum decorating the front yard. I'm sure there are plenty of moles, mice, and various other creatures dotting the property, frozen and completely not decomposing because of the unusually long, cold winter we've had.
3. Plowing and planting. The lettuce and spinach seeds are patiently waiting. They'll be first up. Then the strawberries, garlic, beans, potatoes, peppers, tomatoes...So much planting.
4. Mowing the yard. We can't say lawn, as there are more weeds than grass, but it still needs mowed. In spring, the yard takes on that sickly look, with some spots being a foot tall, but others still barely an inch tall. It should be time for us to get the Dixie Chopper up and running so we can spend four to five hours each week keeping the yard under control.
5. We can't waste all of those grass clippings, so we'll be raking and spreading them on the newly plowed and planted garden. Lots and lots of raking, hauling, and spreading.
6. Fixing the pig pen fence. The new batch of hogs will arrive early April, and the fence has seen better days. If the fence doesn't get some TLC right quick, those pigs will become free-range, dead pigs.
7. Completely redesigning the chicken run, including putting up new fence and net cover. The new chicks will be arriving in late May/early June, and we are determined to keep our new flock of chickens alive. We are giving up on the completely free-range and going fenced in. Those coyotes and dogs aren't getting any more meals from our coop!
8. Soccer games will begin he weekend of April 13. That means we get to pack up the car with chairs, umbrellas, blankets, soccer balls, and toys for the little boys. We need to be ready for the rain, mud, and cold temperatures we will encounter on our weekends of non-stop soccer games.
9. Do the winter/summer clothes shuffle. Haul the boxes out of the basement. Try on clothes previously worn by other children. Figure out what needs purchased to fill in the holes. Then separating and boxing up the winter clothes into the appropriate totes. The fun part starts after the major hauling is done and the boxes are back in the basement. For 5 months, every single time I do laundry, I will find one item of clothing that should have been included in one of those boxes. Do I let them pile up and do it all at once or find the correct box each and every day as I uncover the loose items?
10. Clean up all of the dog poo before the kids step on it. Picture it: Six kids fanning out over a field, shouts of, "I found some!" coming fast and furious as I run around with a shovel, picking up each and every poo pile the children locate. It's kinda like our own little Easter egg hunt. Without the candy, of course.
Dear Mother Nature,
We apologize for our mother. We believe you know what you are doing. Keep up the good work.
The Coop Children
Have a lovely day!