Friday, March 15, 2013

Is It a Sin to Discuss the Pope and Poop in the Same Post?

I'm linking up with the quick takes today.

**************** 1 ***************

The kids got in the car after school yesterday, yelling, "We have a new pope!  There's white smoke!  Drive fast so we can get home before they announce  who it is!"

Reason #428 why I love our Catholic school.  The kids had one eye on the chimney all day long. 

We got home with seconds to spare.  As soon as we turned the TV on, the red curtain was pulled aside.

The kids cheered. 

When Pope Francis asked for a blessing before he blessed the crowd, and we all stopped to pray, tears actually came to my eyes.  I wasn't expecting that. 

I'm excited for this new chapter in the Catholic church.

******************* 2 **************

We have a blue hand towel in the downstairs bathroom.  Usually it is the only one, since I wash it and put it back before the kids get home.  (Or don't replace it, and they wander with dripping hands into the kitchen.)  After the great purple poo debacle, I knew that the cleanliness of the towel had been compromised.  I grabbed a new hand towel out of the cupboard, and, since I couldn't walk to the spot where I normally put dirty laundry, I just threw the dirty towel in the general direction.  My plan was to inform someone that it needed to be washed.  In hot, hot water.

The next day, when I went to the bathroom, I found that dirty towel hanging right next to the clean one.  Ugh.  I had forgotten to inform someone.  I once again threw it, this time even farther.

Tuesday, after the kids were in bed but before Hubby got home, I went into the bathroom, and AGAIN found that stupid dirty towel.  Why is no one home for me to tell?!?!  I put all of my muscle into throwing it into the next room.  And promptly forgot, again, to tell Hubby when he got home.

On Wednesday, I went to the bathroom one more time.  AAAAHHHH!!!!    That towel was once again hanging next to a clean one.  Flippin' flappin' filthy flippin' flappin' getting filthy purple poo germs all over my flippin' flappin' filthy house!  It's like a bad horror movie where a stalker is subtly making himself known.  Except I know who the antagonist is.  My Hubby.  Trying to tidy up.

I was able to walk a little bit better on Wednesday, so I went all the way to the dirty laundry basket and deposited the offending object. 

***************3 ************

Every day, Cuckoo goes to the bathroom in our downstairs bathroom, one room away from where I've been laid up (the same bathroom of the dirty towel from above).  Except for the past two days when, for some reason, he keeps going up the 15 steps, across the landing, down a hall, through my bedroom, and into our bathroom to relieve himself.  And then he screams bloody murder for me to wipe his bottom.  There ain't no way I can make that trek, so I yell to him, "For Pete's sake, wipe your own bottom!"  He then cries, saying he can't reach the toilet paper.  I send Turken to help with that problem.  He then yells to me, "There's poop on my pants!"  


I make my way to the bottom of the staircase and tell him to come to the steps.  From 12 feet away, I have him show me his pants.  Poo is all over the front of them. 

"Honey, how did you get poo on your pants?" 

I sat on them to put my underwear on."

Well, at least his bum got wiped.

************** 4 **********

Why is it that the injury of my foot leads to so many darn posts about bathrooms and poo?

*************** 5 **************
I am a mean mom.  Instead of trying to make Lent easier for my kids, who chose to give up some very difficult things, I rub it in.  Not on purpose, mind you, but I'm not so sure it matters.

Star gave up ice cream (his favorite food in the entire world) for Lent, knowing that he would not get to participate in our weekly trip to Steak 'n Shake for milkshakes. 

This week, Dairy Queen is selling Blizzards BOGO for 99 cents, so instead of milkshakes, we went to Dairy Queen to celebrate the first day of spring break.  Poor Star sat there with his cup of water and watched us all enjoy our ice cream. 

Yeah, I'm thinking he's going to be telling people about this someday.

************* 6 *************

Two years ago, my youngest brother and his wife built a house on a large plot of land and started a little farm from scratch.  My sister-in-law grew up riding horses and went to school to be a vet tech, so they are much closer to being real farmers than Hubby and I are.  They went all in, with horses, chickens, cows, and now sheep.  When we visited them in January, their cow and all 20 sheep were pregnant.  They have been on baby watch for a couple of weeks now.

My brother called me today. 

Our conversation:

Him:  I'm a dad!

Me:  Is it a calf or a lamb?  Did you have to help it along?

Him:  A calf, and none of us were home.  I got a call from (their 10 year old) when he got home from school, screaming that the cow had given birth.

Me:  You realize that you didn't call me when your actual human children were born.

Him:  My human children don't translate into cash in my pocket.

True 'dat.

***************** 7 **************

It's the first full day of spring break.  My foot is in a boot, and in the out-of-doors it is freezing cold and snow flurry-y.  Can't wait to see how this week turns out!

Have a lovely day!


  1. You are a mean Mom! Poor Star! I bet if there was a karmic influence around, it might make sure you had poop-towel continually reappeari...hang on, didn't that just happen to you?

    Hope your foot gets a lot better soon, so you can get back to your normal bum-wiping duties.

    1. I know, I know! Call off the bad karma!

      I have to say, the foot is also helping me. At dinner tonight, Cuckoo yelled for me to wipe him. I could turn to Hubby and say, "Too bad I have a boot. I'd get that otherwise."

  2. Number 3!! My guy is only 9 months, so not potty trained yet obviously, but he has a nasty habit of putting his hands in his poo when I change his diaper, and then trying to PUT THEM IN HIS MOUTH! I shudder to think of what our lives will be like when he starts going in the toilet.

    1. You might have the first comment in the history of my blog to make me vomit. Ew, ew, ew!!!
      May the force be with you when potty training comes.

  3. Maybe with spring break, some of the older kids can take over the bathroom duties. That might not be on their to-do list, but you have to keep up your reputation as a mean mom, right? :-)

    1. That is my plan. With this comment, I'm going to guess you've played the part of mean mom a time or two...

  4. That's a lot of poo!
    I think your new pope sounds like a winner. I was subbing at our parochial school when the news came in.

    1. Tell me about it.

      I couldn't agree more. I'm very excited to see what this pope will do.

  5. Wow, that's incredible that the kids were so excited about the pope. Cool! And the towel story is hilarious - at least your hubby was trying to help :)
    Haha that your brother's human children didn't equal cash in his pocket. Fun post!

    1. I was a bit surprised to see how excited they were. Very happily surprised.
      He does try his best to be helpful. It's why I can't get mad at him.
      My brother makes me laugh all the darn time.

  6. Oh, can I relate to the poo & towel and pope and all!!! I think it's so neat when our kids get excited about the Faith.....let's hope it stays that way!!

    1. With the new liturgical season coming up, I'm hoping to help the kids keep a closer eye on the goings on in the Vatican.

  7. I quite like the look of the new Pope. Hm, new Pope ... I wonder if he has new Pope smell...

  8. The best part of this story is that your husband continued to hang the towel back up! I think that's a small victory, even if the towel was covered in poo-germs. At least they were tidy poo-germs.

    1. This is one of those marital issues we will have for the rest of our lives. He doesn't really like clutter on the floor, so he will pick it up. Unfortunately, he rarely puts it where it goes. Into or onto any box or surface will do, as long as he's not stepping on it. I sometimes/often wish he would just leave things on the floor.

  9. Bad seeds always return. Maybe you should have just burned that blue hand towel and been done with it.

    P.S. I love your brother.

    1. Or is that bad pennies always return? Just sign me Mrs. Malaprop.

    2. I have no idea which it is, but I should have just shoved it in the trash, which is right under the towel.
      I love my brother, too. :)


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