My husband cracked some joke at my expense, and I warned him that he better be nice.
Me: Our Monday Listicle this week is 10 Ways Your Partner Is Awesome. I don't have to write one. Or I can really, really make fun of you.
Him: Am I going to have to write it myself?
Me: Ooooh, would you? That would be hilarious! Please, please, please???
Me: Come ooooonnn. Please.
Him: Alright, but you'll have to ghost write it for me.
Me: You'll dictate it and I'll add the bling?
Him: No, more like you write it. The whole thing. As a ghost writer.
5 Reasons My Wife Thinks I'm Awesome by Hubby, Ghost written by me, as Hubby wanted nothing to do with it.
1. I can still wear the same clothes I wore in college. Yes, he can. He wears his humongously oversized water polo sweatshirt from 1989 from the moment he gets home. As for his size 28 pants, not so much. Either way, the rule still applies: Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.
2. I can tell a seriously funny bodily function joke. While it is true he can come up with a funny flatulence pun, it really isn't a reason that I find him to be awesome. He's basically ruined our family with it. For example, we all went to a Boy Scout Court of Honor in which four boys we know became Eagle Scouts. The ceremony was an hour and half long, including speeches from the parents, awards from the scout leader, and the scout oath being recited by the four boys. A real tear-jerker, even for the dads. On the way home from the event, Turken spoke first. The only thing he took away from it? Referencing the line from the scout oath that says, "I will do my best to do my duty," he recalled, "They said doody." Every single member of my family proclaimed, "I thought the same thing when they said it!"
No, that is not a quality which I find awesome.
3. I buy jewelry. Yes, I may have made a mistake when I bought her the bathroom scale, but I've learned. Ask her for a peek in her jewelry box. Yes, he does buy some nice jewelry. Beautiful pieces that don't match the conservative cardigans I wear almost every single day throughout the winter, or the t-shirts I sport all summer. I feel badly that I don't wear them. Even on the one night a year we dress up for his firm's Christmas party, the jewelry rarely matches my chosen dress. I do wear my bracelets, but the necklaces are hard to pull off. Perhaps if he gave me pearls, I could be like June Cleaver.
4. I bring flowers home on random days throughout the year. I agree. This is awesome.
5. I agreed to buy the farm. She fell in love with the house, whilst I did not. I knew it was going to be a lot of work, and probably a lot of money, but I let her buy it anyway. Hot bunch of hooey. Kinda. He likes the property. He likes the garden. He likes the pork in the freezer. He likes the history of the place. He does hate the money-pit part.
As any reader of this blog knows, I make fun of Hubby all the time, and he's a great sport about it. I hope readers also see how much I love and appreciate him. In case that is not true, I'm just going to lay some things out for you.
5 Reasons My Husband Really Is Awesome.
1. He has never one time complained about my homemaking skills. Terrible dinner? He eats it. Messy house? He steps over the clutter on his way to give me a kiss hello. The children have me frazzled and exhausted? He tells me to have a seat and relax.
2. He is the perfect dad for sports-minded children. He stands on the sidelines, showing support without saying a word. He doesn't yell at them. He doesn't tell them what to do. He treats them as the kids they are, with no agenda of getting them scholarships. Plus, he understands their love of watching games. He appreciates their obsession with the statistics and the brackets and the rosters. He enjoys sports talk and game watching right along with them.
3. He is the funniest person I know. I know a lot of funny people, and he makes me laugh more than any one of them (I'll admit, even the bodily function jokes make me laugh every once in a while.)
4. He is a goal-setter/long-term planner. It is the perfect yin to my "Look! Squirrel!" yang. We would never be able to help our kids through college, and we'd never be able to retire without his foresight.
5. He encourages every decision I make. From being a stay-at-home mom to taking the kids on a spring break trip without him, to sleeping in on Saturday, he does all that he can to make it happen.
Head on over to Stasha's to read about some more awesomeness.
Have a lovely day!