Monday Listicles - Is It the Thought That Counts?

Gotta tell ya, I didn't think there were worse things than political ads before an election.  But there are.  (Every kiss begins with) Kay and (He went to) Jared commercials before Valentine's Day are just gag me with a spoon bad.

Gag me.  With a spoon.  A spoon, I tell ya.

Fortunately, we have a wicked fun Monday Listicle this week to take our minds off of them.

Ten OH, NO YOU DIDN'T gifts 

The first five will be gifts that, thankfully, Hubby has avoided.  (Mostly because he learned from the mistakes of my relatives.)  The second five are things actually done by my dear, dear husband.  By the end, you will be shocked that I am still married to him.

10.  The expensive, predictable gift.  I've said it before and I'll say it again.  Don't buy roses on Valentine's Day.   Just don't do it.  Roses in June are lovely.  Roses on Feb. 14, when they cost 5 times their normal price, irritate me.  And it's not even original.

9.  Stuffed animals.  Once a girl passes the age of 5, just don't do it.  Hubby has not made this mistake, but my dad did.  When I turned 10, he gave me a stuffed bear and a stuffed carrot.  Kid you not.

The smile in this photo is completely fake.  I am and always have been a polite people pleaser, so I smiled for the camera.  (OK, after this post you may not believe my polite people pleaser claim, but it's normally true.)

I do not want stuffed animals.   I am not a kid.  Stuffed animals are not cute.  Even if there is a diamond necklace around that stuffed animal's neck, don't give me a stuffed animal.  Put the necklace in the box.

8.  Coupons.  You know, those handmade ones that say things like "I'll do the dishes" or "a foot massage".  It's cute when my kids give them to me, especially when they say things like "peace and quiet from me for one hour".   Regardless of who gives them, I'm never going to redeem them.  It's really a non-gift. 

I'm just saying, you darn well be doing dishes and giving foot massages without me having to cash in a coupon to make you do it.

7.   Clothes with animals or cartoon characters on them.  This goes along with #7.  When I was 17, my dad gave me a purple sweatshirt with a shiny cat on it.  Came with matching shiny cat earrings, too.  I am not a child.  My bosom may be small, but cute cuddly kittens do not belong on it.  (A note to the three men who read this:  Even if your wife/girlfriend would like a shirt like that, don't get it.  Save her from herself.)

6.  A Chia pet.  My youngest brother gave me one once, because he buys things he really wants for himself, then gives them to people.  Usually with the statement, "If you don't want it, I'll take it."  He's a bit immature that way.  Even the funny Chia pets that look like people with an afro should not be given.  (Unless you are at a party in which gag gifts are exchanged.  Then it is completely acceptable.)

Really, I'm not wanting any sort of plant.  I will forget to water it until it is drooping from dehydration.  So I water it and watch it come back to life.  And then I don't water it.  It starts to droop.  Eventually I will get very tired of this plant dance we have going on and just toss it into the compost.  No need to do that to either me or the harmless, innocent plant.

Do I sound a touch ungrateful yet?  Just wait.  It's time for the gifts my husband has actually given.

Before I throw him under the proverbial bus, I must show you how good he can be.  The potential he has failed to live up to.

Too bad for him, the first gift my husband ever bought for me set the bar way too high. We were 16 years old. He went to three different jewelry stores in town to find a necklace that matched my eyes. He finally found the one he wanted; a gorgeous blue topaz pendant on a gold chain. Undeterred by the fact that it cost more money than he had, he went to the salesperson. My dear boyfriend emptied his (Velcro) wallet onto the counter, told the man that this was every dime he had, and could he please have that necklace. The salesperson took pity on him and let him have it.

Tear jerker, I know.

Now that you adore my husband, I can get to the list.
 
5.  One year he mistakenly put off his Christmas shopping.  At 8:00 on Christmas Eve he went to Meijer (What do you get when you cross a Wal-Mart and a Target?  Meijer.) and purchased all of my gifts and stocking items.  I got a Farmer's Almanac for Christmas.   Clearly he forgot that I'm not a real farmer, but simply play one on TV.

4.  One year, when we had four young, young children, he got me/us a package of dance lessons.   He had the beginning of a good thought, seeing as how we had taken dance lessons before we had kids (as in, I was very pregnant with Phoenix) and had lots of fun.  The only problem was, he didn't think farther.  Who, I ask, was going to get a sitter lined up for each and every dance lesson?  Who, I ask, was going to get the kids fed and all ready for that babysitter?  That would be me.   It was just such a pain in the neck to actually get to the lessons, so we only used three of the seven allotted to us.  (Fortunately, he used this experience to learn something.  The next time he got me lessons, it was for a photography/darkroom class I got to attend all on my own while he stayed home with the kids.)

3.    For my 30th birthday, he gave me what woulda, coulda been the perfect gift; plane tickets to NYC with the sole purpose of seeing as many Broadway shows as we could fit into three days.  Awesome idea. Except we had children.  Children aged 2,1, and 5 months.  Children I had never left before except when I was in the hospital to deliver one of them.

While Hubby did think far enough ahead to schedule a person to watch the kids, it was his mother.  After her stints at watching them while I was in the hospital delivering babies, I was not exactly confident that she would be able to handle the three of them herself.   We'll leave it at that.

While his choice in sitter for my first time away was difficult enough for me, there was one bigger problem.  I WAS STILL EXCLUSIVELY NURSING THE BABY! Star had never set lips on a bottle when I got this wonderful gift. He was still nursing twice at night. The gift meant I had to wean him. He did not want to be weaned. We'll leave it at that.

While we did go on that trip, he was told in no uncertain terms to never, ever do that to me again.

2.  If you are a long-time reader, you might remember the compost bucket we had in our old kitchen.  The Meijer gallon ice cream bucket.  It was nasty, but it worked.  And it could be replaced each time we finished a gallon of ice cream.

Well, one year Hubby thought I might want a nicer compost bucket.  One Christmas, he gave me a lovely ceramic one.  Two problems.

One, we had an ugly kitchen that was falling down around us.  The Meijer bucket really fit the decor much better.

More importantly, (two) it was ceramic.  A child is in charge of taking the compost out to the compost pile.  It was only a matter of time before that child dropped the ceramic on the concrete walkway.

Each day at chore time, I was a nervous wreck.  As the child headed out the door, I would remind him, "Be careful!  That is fragile!"  (Always pronounced fra-gee-lay, thanks to A Christmas Story) and then I would pray that he made it back safely.

I only had to go through that daily torture for 3 weeks before the child came in crying and upset that he had dropped the ceramic compost bucket.  It was no longer a bucket but a hundred ceramic pieces on the walkway.

1.  This last gift is so, so bad that I really should have just given it all ten slots and called it a day.  At least then I wouldn't sound like such an ungrateful heel. 

The worst gift ever given to a wife by a husband...

After gaining 45 pounds during pregnancy, I delivered Phoenix in September, then celebrated my birthday in November.  For that birthday he gave me...

wait for it...

a bathroom scale.

He thought I would want to see how much weight I had lost since giving birth.

Too soon.  My dear, delusional husband.  Too.  (Still fat.)  Soon.

Go forth and have a lovely day!

Friday Mash-Up

*********** 1 ***********

FTSF is getting us ready for that big Hallmark holiday coming up.  Today's prompt is The most memorable Valentine's Day I had was...

never.  I don't have a memorable, let along a most memorable.  This will be the 26th Valentine's Day that Hubby and I have been together.  We have never been a couple to make much of the day.  Actually, I've told him to never buy me flowers on the day when they are the most expensive.  Wasting money is so not attractive. 

However, we do usually exchange cards.  The kind of card I receive tells me alot about his current mood.   Some years, it's simple and sweet.  Some years it's all mushy, lovey-dovey.  One year he included a verse from Sirach.   Usually, though, it's something like this:

The inside reads, "You thexy thing".   To which my husband added, "You can't beat a card with poultry."

While I did laugh, I beg to differ.

******** 2 *********

Ever had the jelly beans like the ones in Harry Potter?  Some taste good, others not so much.  You don't know which it will be until you actually eat the thing. 

There is nothing funnier than watching a three year old eat them.

Each day, the little boys are allowed to have a candy snack after lunch.  Every day this week, Cuckoo has asked for the jelly beans.  Of the 10 he is allowed to have, there is always at least one yucky one.  I can tell by the look on his face if it is a good bean or a bad bean.  Sometimes he endures, chewing until the bitter end.  Every once in a while, though, his face contorts, and he starts hopping and yelling, "It's hot!  It's hot!"  He has no idea what to do but hold his mouth open.  Once I stop laughing, I give him a plate to spit it onto.  He can't even spit.  He just grabs the half-chewed jelly bean with his hand, yanks it out of his mouth, and throws it onto the plate.

After a drink of water, he puts another jelly bean in his mouth.

He has done this every single day. 

Either he's not very bright or he is a man who likes to live on the edge.  Regardless, I think I'm in big trouble when he gets older.

*********** 3 **************

The giant pencil has been ordered.  Thanks, Considerer, for actually looking it up and finding one for me.   A picture will be posted as soon as it arrives.

************* 4 ************

We had a lovely day of sun and temperatures in the mid-40s yesterday.  We took full advantage, playing outside as much as possible.   Just so you know, I'm not happy with the fact that I am calling mid-40's "lovely".  But compared to this, which we had every day for most of last week,

mid-40s is awesome.

So, we took advantage.

  ********** 5 **********

Today, we are back to cloudy and windy and cold.  I'm not going to complain, though.  We are not gearing up for a blizzard. Good luck, East Coasters.

****************** 6 *************

 Fortunately for Green Girl, Hubby is working the ENTIRE weekend, so I'll have time to read her book that finally got made into an ebook.  She's asked us to read and review it on Amazon.  While I am excited to read it, seeing as how she is a funny lady, I don't have the first clue about how to review something on Amazon.  We'll see how it goes.

************ 7 *************

Don't know if you noticed, but Lent is coming up.  I am going to bite the bullet and give up M&Ms as part of my Lenten promise.  It's time.  It's necessary.  So basically, while Hubby and the rest of the "split committee" is doing the stressful job of deciding the pay raises and bonus amounts for every lawyer in his firm, I'll be reading and shoveling M&Ms in my face.

Just call me "Trophy Wife".

Have a lovely day!

      

In Which I Admit That It Is All About Me

I got a call from Hubby yesterday afternoon, and the first thing out of his mouth was, "Either I have Lupus, or you clocked me in my sleep."

I have had enough conversations with the man to know when he starts out with some outrageous sentence, just wait it out.  He'll explain.  I gave him an, "Uh huh."

"I have a bruise on my chin.  Those are the only two explanations."

Me:  "Were you writing with a pencil?  Perhaps you just got lead on your chin."

Him:  "The bruise is the size of a quarter.  That would have to be one big pencil."

We then fell into a fit of hysterics as we both pictured my ultra-straight-laced, conservative husband hunched over his desk with a gigantic pencil.  We laughed harder when we pictured a colleague friend walking by and seeing it.  Or picturing Hubby having to walk to the conference room, thus tucking the pencil behind his ear.

We laughed for 5 minutes before we grew up and moved on with our day.

And then, after the kids were in bed, we laughed some more.

I told him I now knew what he was getting for Father's Day.

He wants the gigantic pencil to say, "World's Best Lawyer".

This is what 18 years of marriage and 6 kids does to a couple.

Despite my inclination to be utterly immature, people still read this here blog.

And some people seem to like it.  For instance, Kate, from Seriously Kate.  I know we will stay friends, as we have one very important thing in common.  We aren't the most observant when it comes to our animals.  We each had a dog that we didn't realize was pregnant until days before it gave birth to nine puppies.  If that doesn't say BFF, I don't know what does.  Kate was sweet enough to nominate me for a Liebster award.  I debated about whether to fulfill the requirements of this here award.  It will mean I have to write and you have to read a whole lot about me.  But then I realized the photos of my kids on the sidebar are a farce.  The entire blog is about me and people keep reading, so why not keep that winning streak going.



So, first we have some random facts about me.

1.  I am married to a man who needs to get his eyes checked.  The bruise that started the whole conversation was just a shadow.  I couldn't find it.

2.  I'm a rebel.

3.  I use Q-tips.

4.  In my ears.

5.  I am tired of my fingers getting shocked every time I get out of my car and go to close the door.

6.  When I was about 12, I punched a neighbor boy in the nose for doing something mean to my brother.  There was blood and everything.

7.  I embarrassed my mom when she drug me over to the neighbor's house and I refused to apologize.

8.  I might be a bit stubborn at times.

9.  I believe peas to be the nastiest vegetable ever invented.

10.  I swung through the air on a flying trapeze when one was set up at the school where I taught.

11.  At the moment, my fingers are cold, but instead of going to fix the thermostat, which has gone to "away" mode and let the temperature drop to 60, I will continue to press on with the task at hand.

I have 11 questions to answer.  Kate came up with some good ones for me.

1. What inspired you to begin blogging?  Several years ago, I wrote a picture book.  I had read in a book and on the all-knowing internet that it was much easier to get a book published if a person had an internet presence.  So, I joined the ranks of "blogging to get a book published".  That lasted about 2 weeks.  I gave it up for a long time.  I have no idea what brought me back to blogging, but without the thought of, "I'm doing this because I have to" I have had fun with it. 

2. If you had to watch the same movie over and over for a day, which would it be?  Shawshank Redemption, one of my all-time favorites, which just happens to be on a marathon running on AMC, and I've been watching it in bits and pieces all week.

3. Do you prefer living in the city, the country, or somewhere in between?  All of the above.  I've done all three, and I like things about all of them.  We are now in the country, but once the kids are grown, I'm guessing we'll move to downtown Indy.

4. If you could choose any profession, meaning you'd have the skillset required and money was not a deciding factor, what would you do?  I want to do so many things.  Teaching, I love, but I've done.  I would love to be a stand-up comic.  I also would like to work in Labor and Delivery in some way.  

5. How is your driving? Are you aggressive behind the wheel or are you patient and generous? Have you gotten any speeding tickets???  I'm not an aggressive driver.  Patient, yes.  Generous, no.  I don't wait around when everyone gets to a stop sign at the same time.  If the person with the right of way doesn't move, I do.  I have had 2 speeding tickets in my life, and two accidents.  The accidents were little fender benders.  I had one when I was 18 and one when I was 36.  I expect to have another when I am 54.

6. What life lesson do you find yourself having to learn over and over again?  Listen more and talk less.

7. Do you prefer Coke or Pepsi?  Coke, but I only drink it when I am driving on a road trip. 

8. Do you have a favorite Bible verse? If so, what is it?  It is in Matthew, chapter 6.  I like the whole thing, but the ending is my favorite part.  "Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span? Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself."  This is why I worry about very few things.

9. Which do you prefer - physical books or e-books?  I love the feel and smell of physical books, but I read almost exclusively off my Kindle.  With the Lupus, holding a book hurt my wrist and arm after a short while, so I couldn't read for very long.  The Kindle works so much better for me.

10. What one thing do you absolutely not leave home without?  I would love to say that I never leave home without my children, but we know that isn't true.  The only thing I have never forgotten at home is my set of keys.  Can't leave home without the van keys.

11. What one thing scares you the most?  I usually get reamed for this, but the one thing that scares me the most is something happening to my husband.  

Now, the next part of this award is to pass it on to some other bloggers.  I am giving them to folks I have found fairly recently, and have yet been able to introduce to you.  To those of you I nominate, I dub you immune from having to pass this on if you don't want to.  No guilt involved.   If you want to pass it on, please answer the questions Kate gave to me.

Some new friends:

The Kraus House Mom

Seeds of Coriander

What I Actually Meant to Say

Actually Not Really

Larks Notes This

What to Blog About (Rooster Inn)

Backsies Is What There Is Not

From the Heart

Red Van Ramblings

The Boring Blog

There you go.  For those of you on bed rest, (I actually know more than one pregnant mom on bedrest) you now have plenty of new reading to do.  You are welcome.

For those not on bed rest, bookmark this (I know there is a way to do that, but I have yet to figure it out.) and come back to read when you have a few moments.  Don't forget the lovely Seriously Kate.  Visit her, too.  In your spare time.

I now have a pile of doll clothes which I am going to wrangle onto a Build-a-Bear for my dear demanding Cuckoo.  Wish me luck.  And the bear.  He'll need some, too.  I foresee a lot of uncomfortable bear handling coming his way.

And then I will be on the hunt for a gigantic pencil.  Because the image still makes me laugh.

Have a lovely day!

Bermuda, Part 2

If you missed part one, go here.

A gnat and a blue whale have more in common than Bermuda and the US do. 

To illustrate:

US:  There are fast food joints on every corner, and frequently there are long lines in the drive-thru.

Bermuda:  Not only are there no fast food joints, there are no chain restaurants of any kind.  There used to be a McDonald's on the US Navy base on the island.  On Wednesday nights they would open it up for civilians.  The base has since closed.  No more Happy Meals in Bermuda.

*************

US:  Many stores are open 24/7.  It is rare to find a store that isn't open on Sunday. 

Bermuda:  The island shuts down on Sunday.  Better have your shopping done by 5:00 Saturday.  Most stores don't stay open past 6:00 any day of the week. 

***********

US:  We Americans expect stellar service in a very quick fashion.  If we have to wait more than 30 minutes for an oil change, we get perturbed.

Bermuda:  Bermudians don't know the meaning of the word "hurry".  Our scooter was in the shop once.  It was supposed to be fixed on Thursday.  I called a few times on Thursday to see what time I could pick it up, but never got anyone to answer the phone.  I finally talked to someone on Friday morning.  I was told the guy who has the key to the shop wasn't feeling well on Thursday, and the other guy didn't want to drive all the way out to get the key, so they didn't open.  Two things to note in that story:
    1.  The island is only 25 miles end to end.  The shop is in the middle of the island.  The drive to the key would be less than 10 miles.
    2.  He actually told me the lame reason!!  Other Bermudians would have completely agreed with his logic.  Which leads me to...

***************

US:  Relatives are required to attend each and every holiday, birthday party, and not-so-special occasion if they live within a three hour drive.

Bermuda:  Not so much.  I worked with a Bermudian who hadn't seen her sister in an entire year.  Her sister lived on the east side of the island.   This was not an unusual situation.

******************

US: Lots and lots of people move to the US every year, all with varying degrees of wealth.

Bermuda:  Non-Bermudians can only buy houses that cost more than a million dollars.  No joke.

*************

US:  People seem to get visas left and right for school and work.

Bermuda:  They are very protective of their work permits.  (There are no school visas, as there is only one small little college.)  Any position not filled by a Bermudian must go up as an open position every three years.  If a qualified Bermudian wants the job, the Bermudian gets it.  An example:  A teacher taught in a school for 15 years, but when her position came up, a qualified Bermudian wanted it.  The teacher lost her work permit. 

**************

US:  Marketing and billboards and commercials and salespeople hit us from every angle all the live long day.

Bermuda:  Billboards are against the law.  While we lived there, a pizza place had to take its sign down because it was too flashy.  It was a simple white and red sign, no lights, on the side of the building that basically said, "Pizza" and the phone number of the place.  The only advertising tourist attractions are allowed to do is place pamphlets in hotel or cruise ship lobbies.  You will never have someone approach you to sell something.  In Caribbean islands, a tourist is bombarded with a constant stream of locals trying to hock their wares.  That will never happen in Bermuda. 

*************

US:  Unemployment hovers around high single digit percentages, representing millions of people.  Each and every city has people begging for cash.

Bermuda:  When we were there, 317 Bermudians were without jobs.  And not one person was begging for anything.

*************

US:  The FDA, CDC, and myriad other agencies keep a tight reign on medicine and food and scores of other things allowed in our country.

Bermuda:  They make sure no dirt comes in our out of Bermuda on people's shoes.  The medical differneces didn't hit me until I had to go to the hospital.  I crashed on our scooter (which led to it being in the shop from above story) and really tore up the left side of my body, especially my leg, shoulder, and hand.  In triage, waiting to be seen, a nurse came over with some gauze and said, "The sight of your wounds is making some other patients sick, so I'm going to cover you up a bit."  I would have been offended if I didn't agree completely.  (I held my hand palm up, as there was so much bleeding and oozing.  It actually looked like a greasy pizza.) 
Once I got back to the exam room, the doctor (I think it was a doctor.  Can't be sure.) took a gander at my wounds, then opened up a big plastic container.  She told me to prop my hand up on the table, then proceeded to pour the liquid over my hand.  OH.MY.HEAVENS. it hurt.  Worse than the actual accident.  Then she poured it all over my leg wounds.  I might have screamed.  Wished I could have passed out.  I was bandaged up and sent on home with instructions to bathe the wounds in Mercurochrome a few times a day.  The FDA banned Mercurochrome at about the same time it was being poured all over my body.

***************

US:  Pringles are the fancy chips.

Bermuda:  Pringles are the cheap chips.  It is the only time in our first 10 years of marriage that we were able to afford Pringles.  Everything in Bermuda is expensive, seeing as there is very little grown or made in Bermuda.  Everything is shipped.  Pringles are nice and compact, which makes for easy shipping.  Basically, they cost the same as they did in our Arkansas Piggly Wiggly. (We lived in Little Rock for 6 months before being shipped off to Bermuda.)

I think that's enough Bermuda talk for one day.  It's nice to think back on our time there, but when I am sitting under two blankets, looking at the ice on our windows, too much Bermuda talk starts to become depressing.

If you like this little series, let me know.

If you have any questions about our time there, let me know.

If you would like for me to stop, for Pete's sake, stop talking about our glory days, please let me know.

Have a lovely day!

Monday Listicles - Where the Sun Don't Shine

I was thiiiiiiis close to not doing a Listicle this week.  The topic is 10 Things in Your Purse.  I just cleaned my purse, so I didn't think there was anything of note in it.  Until I went to get my phone and had to dig through junk to get to it.  So, a list it is.  (I know.  Two posts in one day.  Because I have that kind of time.)

First order of business, get a photo of the purse.  After 239 years of carrying a diaper bag, I was thrilled to buy my first purse after all the kids were of age.  I was fortunate to have the stars align with my birthday and the annual shopping trip with my mom to the outlet mall and the best purse ever invented on super sale at the Coach outlet.  I have had at least 8 friends threaten to steal it. 

Cuckoo, would you be so kind as to hold my purse in order for me to get a photo of it?

I was looking to see more than just the strap going around your neck.

Turken, how about you?

Much better.

Now, when I show you the contents, keep in mind that I cleaned this purse out two weeks ago.  This accumulated in fewer than 14 days.

1.  Five lists of things I needed to get on various shopping trips.  My brain doesn't hold onto much any more, so lists are a necessity.  Apparently I can't remember to throw the lists away when done shopping.  Although, the stash does come in handy when I make my new list of things to get at the store.  I can peruse old ones to see what I forgot the last time I was at the store.  Even with a list I walk out of the store missing list items.

2.  Change hanging out in the bottom of my purse.  Despite the fact that I have a lovely (2a) change purse a friend got me for Christmas.  I can rarely find said change purse when I hurriedly need to put change in it.

3.  Keys.  Important to have, of course.  But why does my key ring weigh more than my youngest child?  For one, I am carrying a key and fob for a van that is sitting in the driveway, unable to run until the snow melts and we can jump it.  

4.  The paint sample card for my kitchen.  The room has been finished for a month now.  Probably could get rid of the sample.

5.  Two inch piece of yarn.  Buttercup is knitting a baby blanket, but only had the purple yarn.   She wanted me to get some complimentary yarn.  I asked her to cut some off for me to match.  I would have preferred something just a tad bit longer.  A two inch piece of yarn is sure to get lost.  Except it didn't.  It was just buried.  I bought the yarn she needed last weekend.

6.  A rebate check to Menard's home improvement store dated July 2012.  I have carried it in my wallet the entire time.  Not in a sleeve of the wallet, but in the wallet where I see it and drop it every time I open my wallet.  If I put it in a sleeve, I'll forget I have it and will miss out on the $5 savings.  I've been carrying it since July.  I should probably check to see if it expires.

7.   One mitten.  I am guessing I put it in there when I found it on the floor next to my seat in the van.  I'm guessing that Cuckoo threw it when he got warm and tired of wearing it.  Just a guess.  I have no idea how long my three year old has been going with only one warm hand.

8.  A sucker.  Normally, a sucker isn't too earth-shaking to have.  Except, this particular sucker shows what kind of selfish person I really am.  On Friday, Cuckoo and I went to breakfast with a friend and her son.  Her boy got extra squirrelly right about the same time an acquaintance of ours walked up to the table.  She was begging the acquaintance and me for a sucker to get him to stay in his seat.  Knowing this sucker was in my purse, I offered a piece of gum instead.  Cuckoo and I were going to be doing some errands after breakfast, and I was afraid I would want that sucker for Cuckoo later.  Nevermind the fact that the sucker has been in my purse for 2 months now.  I know.  Shockingly horrible of me.

9.  Receipts and checkout coupons you get with your receipts.  For years, I got on Hubby's case for not giving me his receipts so I could enter them in the checkbook.  Kettle black, my friends.  Kettle black.

10.  Big wad of napkins, just in case I can't find the (10a) pack of Kleenex in time to catch booger bubbles.

I didn't mention the spider, tag ripped out of the back of someone's shirt, game cards, bag of crayons, or Scholastic book order since most of you probably have those in your purses, too.  Right?

There you have it.  One more post of things I have shared but really should have kept to myself.

I just have one question for those that did the list this week.  Did you put all of your junk right back in your purse after you took the photo?

Have a lovely day!

There May Not Be Drinkin', But There's Pukin'

It's Super How Many Variations of Cheese/Carbs Can We Eat Bowl!!!

I'm not kidding about the cheese and carbs.  The menu for this year's little family Super Bowl party tradition:

mozzarella bites
cheese and crackers
french bread pizza
nachos
soft pretzel bites
banana bread

cheese curls
french fries
spray cheese (you'll see why later)
Rice Krispie Treats
and the Cub Scout cake we won paid dearly for, in more ways than one (you'll see how later)

We always have to way overpay for the cake we purchase.  We are known to bid up the price of the cakes grandparents are required to buy for their grandkids.  Turn around is fair play and all that jazz. 

In order to try to give at least a semblance of balance, I add some protein and nutrients in the form of deviled eggs, homemade chicken nuggets, cut up veggies and fruit, and some summer sausage with the cheese and crackers.

Some kids do well and heed their wise mother's advice to eat some healthy food and refrain from stuffing yourself.  Most kids.

But there is always one who thinks he can handle the unlimited junk bar.  And we all have to pay for it. 

And so a new family rule has been written:

If you feel yourself getting full, then DO NOT eat a piece of cake with red icing.

Hubby was just a touch horrified that I took a photo when our child had just thrown up.  I already had the camera facing that way taking a photo of Giant when the puker ran through.  There was no thought involved.  Simply instinct.

It does not lead to an easy clean up.

Buttercup added her own addendum to the rule.

If you are going to puke, don't come towards me.

Moving on to other gross, vomit-inducing topics.

Hubby can't just let us watch a sporting event.  There always has to be some sort of prize or reward for the fans who correctly choose the winners.

This year, it was spray cheese.

Each time a team scored, the fans of that team were the proud recipients of a big old spray of cheese right into their mouths.  I can't believe we didn't have more vomit.

Thoughts on the halftime show:

I'm not a fan of Beyonce.

Thoughts on the power outage:

Hilarious.

We got to witness cutting-edge reporting we don't normally see outside of election years.

And while those players were just lazing around and the commentators were tripping over themselves trying to figure out how many times they could just show replays was too many, did you see who was continuing to work their tails off?  Just like they always do.

Their new motto should be "Neither rain, nor snow, nor death of night, nor power outage can keep us from our duty.

Yup.  Those cheerleaders never stopped shaking their money-makers throughout the 34 minute delay.  Dedicated to their craft, they are.

Although, the graphics guys did get to put in some overtime.  It's not often that they get to make new stat graphics on the fly.  "Yards since power outage", "points since power outage", "Beers chugged since power outage"... So many new graphics.

Thoughts on the commercials:

Fast and Furious 6?  Is that  really necessary?  After this many years I'm guessing it's less fast and furious and more quick and a touch angry.

Jared has been a spokesperson for Subway for 15 years???  My word, I am old.  I remember when his commercials first aired.  He lost all the weight while at IU in Bloomington during the same years we were there for Hubby to attend law school.  Good gravy, that was 15 years ago??

The E*trade baby is always good for a laugh.

Mio Fit made me giggle.  Especially the line "We didn't like the shape of a chicken, so we changed it to nuggets."

I want to be like the Taco Bell Nursing Home Residents when I grow up.

It may not have been funny, but Dodge Ram made a great commercial with "God made a farmer".

Miracle Montana Stain was quite funny.

Leon Sandcastle had all of us cracking up.

Thoughts on the kids watching the game:

There were too many "Kids, close your eyes" moments.  Why, oh why, can't football and sex be separated?

We never let the kids stay up for the entire game.   The little ones always get sleepy

and head to bed at halftime.

We sent the older kids to bed after the third quarter, but right afterwards the score got within 2 points.  (Remember, 'cause of the power outage?)  We called the boys back downstairs, as I did not want to be that mom.  `Can you imagine if the 49ers would have won, and my boys would have gone to school and said, "Yeah, we didn't see it.  Our mom made us go to bed after the third quarter"?  I'm mean, but I'm not cruel.

Did you watch the game?  Any thoughts to add?

Have a lovely day!

Quick FTSF Takes

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Friday is here,

and I want to dance.

 

 

I can't find it to link it, but I just heard a fun, new kids' song all about not rhyming.  I was inspired.

 

Gonna do some quick takes with Jen today

 

and mash it all up with some Finish the Sentence Friday with Kate, Stephanie, Janine, and Dawn.

 

And apparently I'm covering the mash with some Musings from the Minibus gravy. 

 

And I'm refusing to line everything up on the left column, because centered fits my happy style today.

 

1.

 

When it comes to reality TV shows, I am torn.  I actually like some of the competition ones, where people have to have some real talent to participate.  I like Chopped and Project Runway.  I don't watch every episode, but I'll stop and watch them if they are on. 

 

I also like shows about people who are positive and/or fun.   Shows like 18 Kids and Counting are fine.  And my new favorite is Duck Dynasty.  That show is hilarious.

 

The shows where I learn interesting things are good, too.  I've been known to watch a Pawn Stars or American Pickers every now and then.

 

However, I am completely against the shows that do nothing but encourage people to fight, argue, and basically tear each other apart.  I don't find them entertaining or funny or the least bit interesting.  I won't watch them.  (Although, I cannot pass up Ashley's recap posts about the Bachelor.  That lady is funny.  With a capital funny.)

 

I guess what really puts me over the edge into really, really not liking reality TV is the fact my youngest sister was on a terrible reality show on MTV.  Cameras were at my childhood home filming two of my sisters, my dad, and my stepmom for I don't know how many days.  I was not a part of it, on purpose, but my photo was.  My kids photos are, too.  Hubby actually had to go back and forth with MTV to make sure phone conversations I had with my dad while they were taping did not get aired.  This happened five years ago, yet it still gets thrown on MTV's schedule on a semi-regular basis.

 

 It was a show meant to make my sister look bad, and it did it's job.   

 

Some people will do just about anything to get on TV.   For free. My sister didn't even get an MTV T-shirt for her participation.  And the fact that people make a living making others look bad just makes me sad.  Everything about these reality shows make me sad.

 

I don't want to stay sad, so on to happier topics...

 

2.

 

It is so cold here in Indiana

(You darn well better have said, "How cold is it?")

that going to the bathroom has become torture.  Let's just say that those heated toilet seats I made fun of when I saw them on a home improvement show are making a whole lot more sense these days.  I would totally get one if I could find one. 

I actually screamed the last time I sat down on the toilet.

It's cold.

It's when-the-boys-miss-their-mark-it-freezes cold

OK, so that wasn't exactly a happier topic.
Let's try again.

  

3.

 

In my many hours behind the wheel of the van, I see lots of things.  I've seen people texting, of course.  I've seen them applying mascara.  I've seen them arguing with their passengers.  I smile and cheer when I see someone belting out a favorite tune.  I don't get surprised by people much anymore.  Today, though, I saw something new.  The woman next to me was brushing her teeth.  I kid you not.  She had a toothbrush and was brushing her teeth. 

I don't think it counts as a true brushing, though.  I didn't see any toothpaste froth at the mouth.  She didn't roll the window down to spit.  Surely that can't count.
Huh.  My happy meter must be broken.

 

4.

 

While I made dinner, the little kids were playing with Star.  At one point Cuckoo came running into the kitchen, tears streaming, to yell/tell me, "Turken called me Cutie Pie, but I'm not Cutie Pie.  I'm Cuckoo."  (Obviously he didn't say Cuckoo.  My family doesn't choose to go by the blog names.  Yet.  He said his real name.)  The boy is very protective of his name.  Woe to the person who has the nerve to call him plain old "cute".  He immediately replies, "I'm not cute!  I'm free!"  I'm pretty sure he means three. 
There it is.  Cuckoo talk always makes me happy.

5.

 I was watching a volleyball game today, and I cried.
One of the fantastic traditions at our school during Catholic Schools Week is the 8th grade vs. teachers volleyball game.  I have an 8th grader this year, so I made sure to attend.  Seeing these almost men and women that I have known and watched grow for the past 9 years, having fun and encouraging each other, even when they made an epic fail, just warmed my heart.  They are going to high school next year.  Our lives are going to change.  Big time. 
With kids in 7th, 6th, and 5th grades, too, I foresee myself getting dehydrated from all the crying that will be going on over the next four years.
Blast.  Not happy.

6.

The school registration card I had to fill out today certainly didn't help the crying situation.  I had to leave Phoenix off of it, but Turken was added for the first time.  My second-to-last baby is going to kindergarten next year.  How in the world is that even possible?
Yes, I cried when I wrote his name down.
I seem to be in rut of unhappiness.

7.

To wrap up the mash, I have to admit something.  The movie the kids were watching is over.  I got them all into bed.  I flipped through the channels to see what may be worth watching. 
I just laughed through a conversation between Si, Jase, and the Duck clan.
Some reality TV makes me "happy, happy, happy".

*Thanks my friend, for the idea to put the two links together.*

 

Have a lovely day!