So, maybe my sense of humor isn't completely gone. When I read the prompt for today's Finish the Sentence Friday, I laughed. Quite hard.
"What I really want to scream out loud is..."
The perfect prompt for a curmudgeon.
Today I shall dump on you the myriad ways people have irritated me this past week.
I really want to scream "READ THE FREAKIN' SIGN!" when I go to drop off my recycling and find this:
That sign there... It says, "NOTICE RECYCLABLES ONLY NO TRASH NO DUMPING Violators will be prosecuted."
I say prosecute! This church very kindly collects tons of recycling for those of us who don't have roadside service. Each and every week, people leave things that are most certainly not recyclable. These people take advantage of the church's kindness, and they are going to ruin it for everybody.
I also really want to scream, "I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!" to the bus driver who honked at me and gave me the dagger eyes. Well, I did yell it, but only my kids heard me. Someone needs to tell her that if she wants me to stop for her to let kids off the bus (which I really want to do! I am a rule follower!) she needs to give me time to do it. The entire time I was on that street facing her, she sat there with no lights on. A whole line of cars drove past her. Just as I came up even to the front of the bus, she threw on the yellow lights and within a nanosecond threw on the red. A 12-passenger van cannot stop on a dime, and a bus driver really should know that! If she would have turned the yellow lights on sooner, I totally would have stopped. I'm the one who should have been honking and giving dagger eyes.
Oh, and this one really burned me. As Turken was doing his homework, I wanted to scream, "IF YOU ARE GOING TO WRITE STORY PROBLEMS FOR A KIDS' MATH CURRICULUM FOR A LIVING, DO SOME FREAKIN' RESEARCH!"
This was one of his math problems tonight:
For those who don't have their glasses handy, it reads, "A hen laid 2 eggs yesterday and 3 more today. How many did she lay altogether?"
Now every single kindergartener, teacher, and parent who reads this math book (and doesn't raise chickens) will have it in his head that it is not only possible, but normal for a chicken to lay multiple eggs each day.
Let me make it abundantly clear, hens cannot lay 3 eggs in one day. It would be a rare day indeed for a hen to lay 2. I told Turken to tell his teacher this fact, albeit with a less shrill voice.
The only reason I didn't call the publisher is because I got distracted by the adorable picture Turken drew of the chicken laying those impossible eggs.
You know what I also want to scream out loud? (of course you do!) To the soccer club, I want to yell, "YOU ARE NUTS IF YOU THINK I'M GOING TO RUIN OUR DAY RUNNING KIDS TO ALL OF THIS CAMP NONSENSE!!"
In normal years, our club has a team camp to kick off the spring season on a Saturday in March at our fields. Since this isn't a normal year, they came up with a plan B. Plan B uses all the turf fields in a 30 mile radius, and for bizarre amounts of time. Between Friday night and Sunday night, each of our 4 kids will have three one and a half hour sessions. For each player, two of the sessions will be separated by 2 hours. So, for example, Star has camp 40 minutes away from our house from 11:30-1 and 3-4:30 on Saturday. Buttercup is 40 minutes away from our house in the opposite direction from 2:30-4 and 6:30-8. Stick Giant and Phoenix in there and what you have is a whole lot of stupid. We are not going to be stupid.
It is a shame that these things happened during my curmudgeon week. Normally, I wouldn't get so angry. Normally, I might be a bit sad or mildly annoyed, but not angry. Normally, I would realize I don't know what the other person's day is shaping up to be. I don't have a clue as to what else is going on in the story.
Normally, I would approach the recycling area littered with things that don't belong and give people the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps the person can't read English. Perhaps the person doesn't know about donating to Goodwill. Who knows?
Normally, I would be much more patient with the bus driver. For crying out loud, she drives a busload of tweens and teens home after school. That is not a fun, easy job. Perhaps it was a bad day on the bus, and she was just in a bad mood.
Normally, I would give the coaches some slack. They are doing the best they can in an abnormal situation. No other family at the club has four kids playing, so this Plan B isn't nearly as big of a problem for other families.
Normally, I would still be quite annoyed about the story problem. It is just lazy, shoddy work perpetuating falsehoods about the poor, misunderstood chicken.
Normally, I would realize I have been quite cranky this week. Who knows how many people I've annoyed? Who knows how many people I've unwittingly ticked off? How many of them gave me the benefit of the doubt and thought, "Perhaps she's had a bad day," and forgiven me on the spot?
How many people wanted to scream at me?
It's time to get back to normal.
To read more posts about screaming, head on over to Stephanie's, Kate's, Kristi's, Janine's, or Tarana's.
Have a lovely day!