So, maybe my sense of humor isn't completely gone. When I read the prompt for today's Finish the Sentence Friday, I laughed. Quite hard.
"What I really want to scream out loud is..."
The perfect prompt for a curmudgeon.
Today I shall dump on you the myriad ways people have irritated me this past week.
I really want to scream "READ THE FREAKIN' SIGN!" when I go to drop off my recycling and find this:
That sign there... It says, "NOTICE RECYCLABLES ONLY NO TRASH NO DUMPING Violators will be prosecuted."
I say prosecute! This church very kindly collects tons of recycling for those of us who don't have roadside service. Each and every week, people leave things that are most certainly not recyclable. These people take advantage of the church's kindness, and they are going to ruin it for everybody.
I also really want to scream, "I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!" to the bus driver who honked at me and gave me the dagger eyes. Well, I did yell it, but only my kids heard me. Someone needs to tell her that if she wants me to stop for her to let kids off the bus (which I really want to do! I am a rule follower!) she needs to give me time to do it. The entire time I was on that street facing her, she sat there with no lights on. A whole line of cars drove past her. Just as I came up even to the front of the bus, she threw on the yellow lights and within a nanosecond threw on the red. A 12-passenger van cannot stop on a dime, and a bus driver really should know that! If she would have turned the yellow lights on sooner, I totally would have stopped. I'm the one who should have been honking and giving dagger eyes.
Oh, and this one really burned me. As Turken was doing his homework, I wanted to scream, "IF YOU ARE GOING TO WRITE STORY PROBLEMS FOR A KIDS' MATH CURRICULUM FOR A LIVING, DO SOME FREAKIN' RESEARCH!"
This was one of his math problems tonight:
For those who don't have their glasses handy, it reads, "A hen laid 2 eggs yesterday and 3 more today. How many did she lay altogether?"
Now every single kindergartener, teacher, and parent who reads this math book (and doesn't raise chickens) will have it in his head that it is not only possible, but normal for a chicken to lay multiple eggs each day.
Let me make it abundantly clear, hens cannot lay 3 eggs in one day. It would be a rare day indeed for a hen to lay 2. I told Turken to tell his teacher this fact, albeit with a less shrill voice.
The only reason I didn't call the publisher is because I got distracted by the adorable picture Turken drew of the chicken laying those impossible eggs.
You know what I also want to scream out loud? (of course you do!) To the soccer club, I want to yell, "YOU ARE NUTS IF YOU THINK I'M GOING TO RUIN OUR DAY RUNNING KIDS TO ALL OF THIS CAMP NONSENSE!!"
In normal years, our club has a team camp to kick off the spring season on a Saturday in March at our fields. Since this isn't a normal year, they came up with a plan B. Plan B uses all the turf fields in a 30 mile radius, and for bizarre amounts of time. Between Friday night and Sunday night, each of our 4 kids will have three one and a half hour sessions. For each player, two of the sessions will be separated by 2 hours. So, for example, Star has camp 40 minutes away from our house from 11:30-1 and 3-4:30 on Saturday. Buttercup is 40 minutes away from our house in the opposite direction from 2:30-4 and 6:30-8. Stick Giant and Phoenix in there and what you have is a whole lot of stupid. We are not going to be stupid.
It is a shame that these things happened during my curmudgeon week. Normally, I wouldn't get so angry. Normally, I might be a bit sad or mildly annoyed, but not angry. Normally, I would realize I don't know what the other person's day is shaping up to be. I don't have a clue as to what else is going on in the story.
Normally, I would approach the recycling area littered with things that don't belong and give people the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps the person can't read English. Perhaps the person doesn't know about donating to Goodwill. Who knows?
Normally, I would be much more patient with the bus driver. For crying out loud, she drives a busload of tweens and teens home after school. That is not a fun, easy job. Perhaps it was a bad day on the bus, and she was just in a bad mood.
Normally, I would give the coaches some slack. They are doing the best they can in an abnormal situation. No other family at the club has four kids playing, so this Plan B isn't nearly as big of a problem for other families.
Normally, I would still be quite annoyed about the story problem. It is just lazy, shoddy work perpetuating falsehoods about the poor, misunderstood chicken.
Normally, I would realize I have been quite cranky this week. Who knows how many people I've annoyed? Who knows how many people I've unwittingly ticked off? How many of them gave me the benefit of the doubt and thought, "Perhaps she's had a bad day," and forgiven me on the spot?
How many people wanted to scream at me?
It's time to get back to normal.
To read more posts about screaming, head on over to Stephanie's, Kate's, Kristi's, Janine's, or Tarana's.
Have a lovely day!
Trust me most of this would have driven me quite mad, too. As much as I try to stay calm, I too do have my moments and the the new math curriculum is definitely a sore spot with me, seeing as I trained to teach math, but not some of the tactics that are being used to teach math nowadays with the new core Curriculum. I truly don't want to rehash it all, but let's just say I totally got your frustration and then some. So, totally would have wanted to scream, too.ReplyDelete
Yes, it's only a little kindergarten word problem, but if they are making stupid problems like that for 5 year olds, what stupid things are they doing with older kids??Delete
There are all sorts of things teachers are being made to do, even if it doesn't benefit kids in the least.
It would be so funny if one of the other scream posts had you in it, lol! Kidding aside, I think we all have those days or weeks when everything gets under our skin. I know I would have been annoyed with those people dumping trash in the church recycling area, bad day or not. Just not cool.ReplyDelete
Ha! That would be funny!Delete
Not cool at all.
We all have bad weeks, mine just don't usually tend to last a full week. I'm more of an hour or so grouch and snap out of it. I'm not liking this bit of grouchiness one bit.
hahaha!! Oh man, the chicken! So many childhood math problems seem highly improbable or impossible...who writes these textbooks?ReplyDelete
Morons. Morons write the textbooks.Delete
I will put in here that not all textbook writers are morons. That would be wrong of me. Just most of them are morons. :)
I know you are screaming, but your post made me giggle so much! The recycling is just nonsense and it KILLS me that somebody dumped a really nice bouncer. There is a family somewhere with no money that would LOVE to have a bouncer that nice! The bus driver is a moron. I get tired of people cutting me off just because I'm in a massive van and they think I'll go too slow. It makes me crazy. And your soccer sounds like my Lacrosse only I just have one playing. But they keep switching up his schedule and adding tournaments which cost more money. These things are not planned for families with more than two kids. Every time they switch his schedule, I have to figure out how in the world I am going to be in multiple places at the same time. It's good times! And I must admit, until my SIL started raising chickens, I wouldn't have batted an eye at the chicken question.ReplyDelete
I thought the same thing when I saw the bouncer! I don't know why I didn't grab it to take to Goodwill myself.Delete
People who don't drive big vans don't understand. We don't go slowly. We want to get out of that van as quickly as possible!
Star's team has been adding tournament after tournament, and half are out of state. I'm ready to tell them to put Star on the B team next year to avoid this nonsense.
See! No one knows anything about chickens. The textbook people should really use their opportunity to educate people! :)
You certainly are on a roll, and rightly so. I think you need some warmth, some sunshine and a break from all the stupid people that are making you crazy.ReplyDelete
Have a fabulous Friday. :)
I know! I feel all Rosanne Barrish. I do! I do need a break!! Too bad it doesn't look like I'm going to get one any time soon.Delete
LOL - I thought all the normally paragraphs were going to end with but I had PMS and I couldn't help it. I have to admit I giggled at the chicken/hen one. That would have gone right by me. The recycling would totally piss me off - PMS or not.ReplyDelete
Hahaha!! I wish I had something normal to blame the grouchiness on!Delete
No one but a chicken farmer would bat an eye at the story problem. I hate that.
It is hard not to get completely furious sometimes.
I'm always impressed at your HUGE capacity to rationalise these things compassionately. That takes HUGE strength of character and determination. Consider this a week of practice.ReplyDelete
Ack, no. It just takes age and wisdom. And messing up lots and lots of times to gain that wisdom.Delete
yes. "Have a lovely day." And thanks for the smile.ReplyDelete
Oh, I adore curmudgeon week! It looks good on you. :) I love that math problem bit- it's good to know that there are people in the world that notice the impossible egg-laying scenario- I would have never thought twice about it. That said, I may or may not have failed to complete it correctly. I mean, help my child complete it. Have I mentioned how much I dislike story problems? Anyway... I haven't been over here in WAY too long! Look at your gorgeous new header! Love it!ReplyDelete
Ha! I doubt my kids would agree. :)Delete
It sounds like I am going to have to be on a country-wide mission to educate people about chickens. There are lots and lots of misconceptions out there!
I agree. It's been WAY too long.
Thanks! I just got it last week!
I've decided that some days screamin' is entirely appropriate, necessary and good for my mental health! Same goes for you...because sanity!ReplyDelete
Thank you for the permission. Ah, sanity. Something else I've been looking for. :)Delete
I think they are ALL justifiable rants--let it out! Scream and shout, sister!ReplyDelete
Thank you! I'm thinking I may have to do this more often! :)Delete
I love you,ReplyDelete
Aw, Dad. Don't make me teary.Delete
Love you, too.
Ok that kindergarten word problem probably pisses me off more than it should but for literal kids like mine? It's bloody IMPORTANT that the chickens can't lay three eggs in one day. Seriously, my kid would be so hung up on that that he'd not even be able to pretend that somebody ate 3 + 2 apples instead. UGH. And yeah, the recyclers. We have a stupid neighbor here who continually puts un-accepted stuff out and then they don't pick it up because DUH. Instead of taking it back inside, and call Goodwill, they leave it out there. Also EF the coaches, they should know better.ReplyDelete
These writers really, really need to start using their brains when writing these questions.Delete
So does your neighbor just have a gigantic pile of stuff at the end of the drive? What eventually happens to it? Do people just come by and take it?
"Have a lovely day!" Haha! I love how you ended this. And the poor misunderstood chicken. I was a little proud of myself for knowing that that was too many eggs for a hen to lay - but I only know because my sister has a pet chicken. Otherwise, I'd live my whole life thinking one chicken can pop out enough eggs for a daily omelet.ReplyDelete
I couldn't not say it. :) A pet chicken, eh? My brother used to have a pet chicken, too! I didn't know that was a thing.Delete
Um, do you know how to make an omelet? There is such a thing as a one-egg omelet. :)
We all deserve an occasional curmudgeon week. I know I've had my share. You are so much more kind during your week, though. Hmm…I need to work on that.ReplyDelete
Only because it's a thankful post. There's been plenty of unkind going through my head lately.Delete
Hen aside, nowadays, I'm impressed the teacher got "altogether" right and didn't use "all together." :)ReplyDelete
Ha! I just say "in all" to avoid such grammar issues. :)Delete
The math problem reminded me of when I used to do Math Challenge when I was student teaching. I'd tell the kids a story problem and they'd have to solve it. I liked to use a theme, so when we were hatching baby chicks in the classroom I did an egg theme. I was making up ridiculous problems like, "A hen laid 62 eggs this morning, and 75 eggs this evening. How many eggs will we have for breakfast tomorrow?" But the kids knew I was being silly. (I think. Although they originally thought that the eggs in our incubator had come from the grocery store!)ReplyDelete
Now that is funny. The kids knew you were exaggerating, so I have no issue with it whatsoever. 2 or 3 eggs seems doable to a city kid.Delete
I'm thinking there are plenty of adults who would say the same thing.