Take last weekend, for example. Phoenix had a three-day volleyball tournament in Chicago. We spent at least 8 hours in the gym together each day. Include meals and travel, and that is a whole mess of parental togetherness.
Fortunately, the parents of Phoenix's teammates are fun, nice, and great spectators. I had a fantastic time. (That's my #1.)
It just so happens that our friends with whom we vacation every summer were at the very same volleyball tournament. We knew ahead of time that they would be there, and since they are Turken's Godparents, I brought Turken along for the weekend. We were able to see quite a bit of them, as well as to cheer their son on during his games. (#2!)
That much time in a gym, combined with ridiculously late nights, could go terribly wrong when one brings her six year old. Fortunately, Turken isn't an ordinary six year old. That child ROCKED the weekend in Chicago. I never even had to give him a "stop that" look. Not once! (#3!)
We didn't leave Chicago until 3:30, and it is a 3 and a half hour drive. After the exhausting weekend we had, it was going to be a very, very long 3 and a half hours. And Phoenix would have been no help in keeping me alert. Fortunately, Phoenix's coach was abandoned by the other coaches and needed a ride back to Indy. We had room, and he was extremely helpful in getting us out of downtown Chicago and awake for the drive. (#4!)
While we were gone, Bryan and the kids had plenty of fun. He even left work early on Monday to take the kids bowling. (#5!)
I managed to get three workouts in this week. I even took the opportunity to use the hotel's workout room while in Chicago while the boys slept in one day. Sure, there were a few problems the day I decided to try swimming, but the workouts went well. (#6!)
All of the working out is paying off. Not in the "Hey! My muffin top is gone!" sort of way, but in a "Wow! My knee doesn't hurt!" A chicken snuck out of the coop when I went in to feed them, and I had to chase it down. Three weeks ago, I would have been crying in pain as I weaved in and out between the trees and fences and weeds and outhouses. Today, I didn't even realize what I had done until it was over. (#7!)
And, while I chased that chicken down, I wasn't freezing my tail off. The weather this week has been quite mild. The kids have played outside every day and didn't even need a hat or gloves. (#8!)
On Thursday and Friday I actually had time to get some much needed cleaning done around the house. It's not often that I have a completely productive day, but I had one on Friday. I love that kind of day. (#9!)
Speaking of cleaning, some big things are happening for my 90 year old grandma. She's selling her house and moving into an independent living facility. When I heard, I immediately wanted to cry. (I actually did cry as soon as Bryan got home and I said it out loud.) I knew how hard it would be for her. It means everything about going home is changing. Her house is the party house. Anytime someone comes into town, everyone gathers at Grandma's house to play cards and have fun. It is the perfect house for such things. My grandma has lived there since my dad was a teenager. It's only a couple of miles from the house where I grew up. I was there all the time! I hate that things are changing. I hate that we are getting older and things will change drastically at some point.
And then I talked to Grandma. As much as she knows this is a good move, she is sad. She is going to miss her back porch. She is going to miss having everyone over to play cards. She is going to miss her space.
But what we both have to focus on is what she's gaining. She won't have to worry about her yard anymore. She won't have to worry about wearing herself out compulsively cleaning her entire house. She won't have to worry that she will die and no one will find her for days.
The place she is going is spotlessly clean. The food is delicious. The day she toured it, she ran into three women with whom she was in a mothers' group decades ago as well as a distant cousin she didn't know she had. My mother-in-law works in the nursing home on the property. There is a bus that will take her where she wants to go. And it's Catholic, so there is a Mass on the property every week. Shockingly, there was a room available for her. The waiting time to get one of the apartments is usually a year and a half. But, everyone currently on the waiting list doesn't want to move in the winter. She'll be moving in February.
While we are so sad to be moving into this new phase of life, we are so grateful that it is to such a marvelous fit for her. (#10)
Well, that was my week. Now tell me about yours.
Have a lovely day!
A Fly on our (Chicken Coop) Wall, Amycake and the Dude, Considerings, Finding Ninee, Getting Literal, I Want Backsies, The Meaning of Me, Rewritten, Thankful Me, The Wakefield Doctrine
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Nice to see how concerned you are about your Grandma :)ReplyDelete
My grandma has been a huge part of my life. I'll always be worried about her. :)Delete
Oh, Christine, I know how difficult it is to accept that the ones we love are getting older and need more help that we can give. My prayers are with you and your family. And your gym story is hilarious.ReplyDelete
Thank you for the prayers. I'm almost surprised by how hard this is hitting me. It's not like I'll never see her again.Delete
Glad you liked it. :)
"Muffin top"? -- I'm learning interesting new expressions through this post... :-)ReplyDelete
I'm glad to hear that your knees don't hurt.
I hope you will be able to visit your grandmother in her new place often.
Ha! Yes, it is quite a popular word here in the states. It's a horrible phenomenon. :)Delete
We'll see her every time we go back home, and I'm going to do my best to get back even more often than usual.
Your knees give me hope! I can't wait to move around without pain myself and I know I'll get there. I feel like it wasn't long ago you were really struggling with that. Pretty soon muffin topless might top your TToT! I know it will be hard for your Grandma and the rest of your family to make the transition but I think after she's there some time you will all find that her life is a lot easier, and yours because you won't have to worry so much about her. My 84 year old grandmother refuses to leave her home. She is of sound mind and she's fairly healthy, but we worry about her being there alone. A lot.ReplyDelete
Good! You'll get there. It takes time, but it will come. At times, I didn't think I would ever get back to normal or even close to normal.Delete
I can only hope! I'm not a fan of the muffin, that's for sure.
In my head I know this is the very best move for my grandma. Really, it should have been done long ago. I'm actually pretty surprised that she agreed to go. I never thought she would.
OMG....I can relate!!ReplyDelete
We rigged my son's hockey team this year (well it doesn't really matter since they're only six) so that us hockey mom's could stick together. Ok, so we may have also made our husband's sign up to coach baseball too so that we could also be baseball mom's because hey, we need tanning partners...
I hope that the transition goes smoothly for your grandma.
Ha! That is the way to do it! Unfortunately, with all these kids, we can't coach them all. Especially the older ones. We just have to cross our fingers and hope for the best.Delete
Your knee and your grandma are the best of the week. Bittersweet for grandma, but it's the right thing for her. You'll see. She'll be happier and have more energy.ReplyDelete
Have a fabulous day. ☺
It is bittersweet. We both know it is for the best, and once she's there and settled in and we are all used to it, we'll be fine. I'm just glad it's happening early in the year and we can all get used to it before Thanksgiving comes around.Delete
I have read everything youve been writing of late just havent had time to comment. or the right tool... phone...argh! But one of my favs was the wet cat through a funnel analogy... anyhow... glad your grandmother is opting for safety over nostalgia. ... and how bout that working out thing paying off huh???? pretty cool!ReplyDelete
No joke. That's what I looked like. :)Delete
I am glad that she's going for safety's sake. It truly is her biggest fear that she will die and no one will find her. Won't be happening now.
Oh, it makes me said that your grandmother is moving, too! I feel the same affection for houses and such as you do. And change is always, always hard. You're reframing it so well, though.ReplyDelete
I think I need you to come over and give me parenting lessons. I feel like we've been going through a period of very trying behavior, and I'm feeling sort of worn out with it. Lots of screaming, lots of tantrums. Because the pretzel was broken. Seriously.
I don't think I'll have this strong of a reaction when my dad moves out of the house I grew up in. Well, it's the TToT. We have no choice but to reframe it into something positive. :)Delete
I'd love to come over, but not to give lessons. :) Oh, we've had plenty of tantrums over stupid stuff like too many MiniWheats but not enough Life in the bowl. (The child eats two cereals in the same bowl.) Hopefully it's just a phase that you will get through and say, Man, glad that's over!" I'm guessing it has a lot to do with the fact you've been sick for like, 3 months.
I'm so glad that Turken was such a susperstar. Did Phoenix's team win?ReplyDelete
I didn't realise it was such a long way to Chi! Wow! Er! Yeah okay....Murica's big.
Such a shame about your Grandma and her house, but so good for her, as you say. And BRILLIANT that there was a space available immediately. That's a real blessing :)
They won one game each day, but every single one of them was soooo close.Delete
Yes, from my house to downtown Chicago, three and a half hours. I've been trying to tell you for a year that the US is GIGANTIC!!
She wouldn't be going anywhere if this apartment wasn't available. It was meant to be.
So are you the person that read my blog in Chicago? I saw that go by on some report I don't understand and was like "who the heck is that?"ReplyDelete
Your kids always amaze me. The fact that you corral that many of them amazes me more. My one gives me enough of a run for my money!
OMG Lizzi - "Murica's big" cracked me up! :D
I still get sad when I drive by my Grandparents' former house. It is sad when those big things change. You realize life will never be quite the same and that is sometimes upsetting. I'm a big one for holding it together until I say things out loud, too, and when I do it's usually in my Husband's direction and then I just slobber all over the thing. But then I usually feel better about it and can move forward. Just his presence is comforting. Anyway, the situation in the new place sounds just wonderful for your Grandmother - all those good things for her add up to a very positive situation. Best of luck with it to all of you!
Probably. I did read the posts Sat. through Monday in Chicago.Delete
Ack, it's all in what you're used to. I've been corralling kids since I was 11 years old.
Lizzi just can't wrap her head around the fact that the USA is gigantic. I've been trying to tell her for a looong time.
You are right about why I'm upset. If my grandma isn't in her house, where will all the relatives gather? Eventually people will stop coming and nothing will ever be the same. ugh. BUT it is the best thing for her, so I will be OK with it.
"where will all the relatives gather? Eventually people will stop coming and nothing will ever be the same. ugh" I thought this exact thing the year my father died and my mother decided to move into a small apartment. Holidays always consisted of all of their 8 children and their children coming to the house. That year the tradition passed into my generation and we had it at my house which was a drive but it happened. I sold my house and it has now passed on to the next generation and my niece had it at her house this year. We all help the person who has the actual gathering and it all works out... its different from how it used to be but its still very cool and much the same. I hope that's how it goes for you guys.Delete
Oh, I hope and pray that is how it turns out. While she is still alive, I have no doubt that people will come. After that...Delete
Bryan's grandparents held Christmas at their house every year. It was a huge gathering, rarely missed by anyone. When his grandma died and Grandpa moved into a nursing home, it stopped. The last time we saw many of his relatives was at Grandpa's funeral.
I'm not giving up hope, though!
I can imagine that it's sad, Christine, but I agree, it will make life a lot easier for your grandma while allowing her to keep her independence. Your trip sounds wonderful, I'm glad you had so much fun, a great time, and many good memories to share! And of course that at home everything went well. Have a wonderful rest of the weekend, Christine!ReplyDelete
It will. And we'll still get to see her and she'll still get to come to the parties. There will be plenty of things for her to do besides sit at home by herself most days. I must keep telling myself that this IS a good thing.Delete
Change is hard, but I'm glad that the place your grandma will be moving to is such a good fit for her. I probably don't need to tell you, but take tons of photos of the inside and outside of her house before it sells. Growing older stinks sometimes.ReplyDelete
I only hope I can get there before the house sells! It's all happening so fast. Of course, Grandma is worried that it will take a long time to sell. I doubt it will.Delete
Growing older does stink sometimes.
I agree. Parent friends when watching kids sports is the number 1 criteria. :D In the early years anyways. Now...I send G with R or else I take a book. Call me anti-social...I call it me time. ;) Sounds like you, Turken & Phoenix had a great time in Chicago!ReplyDelete
I'm sad you were sad about your grandma's move. It's sad when life keeps moving on even when you don't want it to. I'm sure she will be very happy in her new home. It was one of the best moves for my mom...G & I are still fighting about who has to stay and look after the now men and who gets to go live in a retirement residence. Haha!
I will be sure to change your name in my contact list. :) I won't say I've never sat in my car to read during warm-ups before a game, but I go to as many games as I can. I like watching. However, there are games that I must sit far away from the other parents. Some parents are too crazy (as spectators) for me to socialize with. We did have a great time. It was exhausting, but lots of fun.Delete
Once she's settled, I think she will be very happy. My dad said he's ready to sell his house and move in there right now! Just a couple of minutes ago, Giant said something about being 30 years old living in the basement. I replied, "We won't have a basement in our condo." :)
"Well, that was my week. Now tell me about yours."ReplyDelete
… well a bought a plant and I drove a lot. and, and! it didn't snow, except for today, while I was driving my car.
lol you have that special quality to balance spontaneity with control… very cool
OH! I forgot to comment on the wonderful lack of snow we've had this winter when I commenting at your place! Except for a few tremendously cold weeks, winter has been quite nice. For winter.Delete
Isn't that part of being a scott? :)
Congrats on the sporting front, especially to Master Turken for being so good:) 6 is only 1 more than 5 and lately I've been seeing how "challenging" a 5 year old can be lol.ReplyDelete
3 Workouts in a week. I'm jealous! But really, chasing down chickens is NOT a workout?!
Unavoidable this getting older thing. I'm happy for your Grandma that circumstances have worked in her favor but sad at the same time. No doubt she will have a myriad of emotions until she "settles" into the "new" life. Hopefully, she will find many things to like and she is able to make new friends. Already it sounds as if she's off to a pretty good start - she knows not everyone is a total stranger in the new place. And see! As it turns out, there's family there already:)
It's hard coming to terms with life when there are things out of your control. It's not just your Grandma leaving, selling her home, you are losing your home as well. It may be a cliche, but I still believe home is where the heart is:)
There is a reason the 6 year old came and NOT the 5 year old. :)Delete
Chicken chasing could be a workout if it lasted long enough. Fortunately, she was back where she belonged in only a few minutes.
I'm glad that she already knows people there. It will help. It's a huge change, so she's understandably worried, but I think she'll end up happy that she moved.
"Tis true, cliche or not.
oh Christine change is hard - your relationship with your Grandma is wonderful good luck to all of you.ReplyDelete
I find it funny that you voice how who you share the bleachers with is equally important - LOL I do understand -
have a great week :)
I don't mind change as long as I'm the one deciding the change. :)Delete
Ha! They need to know where I stand. :)
You are a great mother. All that time in a gym, oy. I'll bet you had some major bleacher bum! As someone who has only sat through ONE tournament (wrestling) it's very fortunate you knew someone there! Mine was the longest day of my life almost, and this was before smart phones. Glad someone helped you out of Chicago! I live just West of Chicago, I was born in Chicago and even so sometimes driving there? Is quite a chore! This weather has been glorious, well glorious for winter in the Midwest anyway. And of course it was 40 degrees and sunny yesterday and it's totally snowing this morning as I type this :)ReplyDelete
That is awesome you're getting around, working out after that knee and can chase a chicken! Impressive!!! Maybe you've invented the new workout craze: Chicken Chasing. You'l be rich!
Ooopos hit the button before my last thought:Delete
I'm sorry to hear about your Grandmother. That is really a tough time, especially if she's been self-sufficient for so long. My Grandmother fought it until she got to the point where she told US "I keep leaving the stove on, and I'm afraid I'll burn the whole building down." :(
It really sounds like a lovely place! Hopefully it will be a smooth transition. Sounds like winter might be a good time for her. She'll meet new friends, play cards or something like that, she can go to mass, and great food? Well, that is huge.
Fortunately, the tournament was in McCormick's Place. There were no bleachers. They had actual chairs set up around all 38 courts.Delete
Chicago is most definitely not an easy place to navigate. Especially in traffic. And McCormick? Have mercy, that place is ridiculously big! It took me an eternity to even figure out where to go to park!
A month ago, I was quite worried that my knee would never get better. I couldn't be happier about the progress. Chicken chasing most certainly could be a workout! Too bad the chickens take more upkeep than a treadmill. :)
My grandma is still fine health and mind wise, but she is OCD. Just keeping up with the cleaning and upkeep is wearing her down. This will be much better for her. Glad your grandma was with enough to tell you. So often, they fight it, making it so much harder to do.
It is a marvelous facility. My dad is ready to move in with her. :)
Christine, glad that gran is going to have company. And she's got your love....for her, that will be the most important thing of all. Hugs to you both.ReplyDelete
It will be great for her to have company. She sits at home by herself all day, and she is a social person. Of course, she's now worried that she won't have any peace and quiet with all of the people wanting to play cards and talk. :)Delete
There is just something about having a truly productive day that satisfies the soul.ReplyDelete
I agree it is completely important to like the people in the stands you have to sit with. Or at least have one person you like, so you can talk about the others together. Not that I've ever done that....ReplyDelete
I don't like to navigate AND drive in a strange city. One or the other, please.
How did Phoenix's team do in the tournament?
Your grandma is going to have an adjustment, but I think she will enjoy the social aspect of being in an assisted living facility. And they have areas where you can get together and play cards when the family is there. It won't be the same, but it will become your new normal.
Hi, sounds like you had a great time in Chicago at the tournament. I really glad you were able to loose weight and attain fitness goals. I am trying to do the same thing this year. Thanks for stopping by and encouraging me this weekend on my blog. :)ReplyDelete
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Sounds like yuor grandma is going to a wonderful place!! I hope she enjoys it there. It's funny. My mom always says that she would NEVER want to live in a home like that, but when I get old...I would love to live in a nice place. I always thought it sounded sorta fun...like being in college without the classes and the parties. LOLReplyDelete
A nun at our church gave me such wisdom when my folks moved into their ALF. My mom was so sad and angry too. My siblings and I didn't know how to help her. Our nun friend said, "your mom is grieving." I teared up when she said that. But, she was so right. Leaving a home you love - and most of your things - it feels like a huge loss, and must be treated that way. There is a grief involved. Once I understood that, I was not so intimidated by mom's upset. I was able to just let her be, and just walk along side her.ReplyDelete