I stink at this working out thing. No, really. I literally stink. Tell me. When do people who work out shower?? For my entire life, I have showered first thing in the morning. Even when the babies were coming every year, I made sure to take a shower before the kids woke up every single morning. It's the only time of day when I CAN take a shower. While it seems mighty ridiculous, I still take a shower at 6:30 in the morning. Even when I'm going to the gym at 9:00. And then I go through my day smelling worse than Pepe le Pew.
Swim days are better. Chlorine is a clean smell.
Unfortunately, there have been some snafus with the swimming, too. Which is amazing, seeing as how I've only been swimming one day so far. Probably should have thought through the lift weights then swim plan.
Choosing to wiggle my way into my new Speedo in the gym's locker room after lifting instead of at home was a mistake. The locker room is not the ideal place to realize that I never did use that razor hanging in my shower. (I said I showered every day. Never said anything about shaving every day!) Too bad Speedos don't come with those cute little skirts to cover up such graphic lapses in memory. Or leggings. Or sleeves. The only thing going my way was the fact that the average age of the 5 people in the pool area was 70. Without their glasses, they probably didn't realize anything was amiss. Right?
If only the indignity I endured that morning ended there.
You know how when you dry off with a towel, you aren't really all the way dry? Your skin still has moisture that the towel can't soak up. It's why people like to wear robes when getting out of the shower. It gives a body time to get rid of that last bit of moisture before putting clothes on. Otherwise, the moisture has a tendency to grab hold of the clothes as they are put on.
A little FYI: It really likes to grab hold of tight-fitting things. Take, oh I don't know...say...sports bras. By design, they are a bit snug. Getting a sports bra over one's head can be a bit ungraceful even when the person is bone dry. When a person still has that little bit of moisture that the towel didn't soak up on her person, getting a sports bra on looks a lot like shoving a wet cat through a funnel. Not that anyone should or would shove a wet cat through a funnel. It's just the best visual I could come up with to describe the horror that was me getting dressed.
Three times, People. Three times I tried to get that sports bra on the appropriate part of my body. Three times it got stuck at my armpits. My arms were all akimbo, trying desperately to reach the bottom of the bra to unroll it and pull it down. Three times I had to jiggle, wiggle, and tear my way back out of the sports bra to try a different tactic. Except there is no other tactic.
I finally just gave up and put my nice, loose T-shirt on and threw the bra in my bag.
I guess there is one benefit to being a size Almost A. With a jacket on, no one knows the difference.
So far, the only benefit I see to actually working out is being able to walk around town in my pajamas.
In the past 10 years, I have been sleeping in sweats or yoga pants. Only people who have slept at my house have seen them.
Until December, when I first wore them for the purpose God and Nike intended.
Have mercy, those things are comfortable!
In conclusion, working out is going just fine. My knee is improving by leaps and bounds. (For real! I can actually hop a bit!) I have gotten past the "Good heavens, I am a super-duper, out of shape wimp!" phase and am currently residing in the "Look! I can hang at level 3 on the ellipticle for 10 whole minutes!" phase.
Baby steps, but steps nonetheless.
Do you have any embarrassing work out stories to tell? Please?
Have a lovely day!