Thursday, September 19, 2013

Pig Escape Caught on Tape!!!

Last night, I came up with a very creative, outside-the-box idea for the thankful hop this weekend.  I'll still do part of it, so I won't tell you the entire idea, but part of it entailed videos from around the farm.  Cuckoo and I began filming this morning.  For the chickens, I started with the phone, then he took over at the end.  When we moved to the pigs, I let him film the entire thing. It had rained all morning, and I didn't want to drop my phone in the mud with the pigs.

Backstory:  Each time I feed the pigs, I throw them a tomato or apple treat, simply to get them away from the door, so I can get in.  Not one time, in 5 years of raising pigs, have I ever locked the door behind me.  As soon as I'm in the fence, they are all practically knocking me over trying to get their food.

Until today.

Comments about the video:
1.  Keep in mind, Cuckoo (4 years old) was the videographer.  He was the only one home.  The moment the pig got loose, he got scared.  Most of the video is really for the benefit of the audio.  Turn the volume up to hear my screams and the pig grunts in the background.

2.  The dog you hear is Roy.  He really, really wanted to come in to "help" me.

3.  You may hear me remind Cuckoo a few times that he had the video on.  It was in no way because I wanted this video for the blog, but completely because I didn't want him to get scared and throw the phone at the pig.





So why did the video end?

Because after 4 more minutes of dead video (which I cut out), when I was out in our 2 acre field chasing down a pig, Cuckoo accidentally turned the video off.  Sorry to say, there is no documentation of my heroic capture of the loose hog.

However, I do have illustrations.

Here's how it all went down...

I realized I needed to shore up the holes in the area where the pig and I went.  (Towards the end of the video, you see me (upside down) in the pen again.  I am trying to find a gate I can carry by myself.)

While I was in the pen, the pig found his way through to the wide open, 2 acre field.  (Granted, the opening is quite large and walking through it is really the only logical thing for a pig to do, if you are using pig logic.)


I tried chasing and corralling for a few minutes, but my attempts were futile.  And exhausting.  There was too much room, so he could easily get around me.  I had no rope or anything to actually hold onto him, so catching him was not an option.  The more I tried to get him going in the right direction, the farther from the pen he went.  Adding to the long list of problems were the Lupus flare that kicked in yesterday, the gigantic boots I was wearing, and the sprained ankle I retwisted in this little escapade. 

I needed to be smarter, not faster, than that blasted pig.

I stopped chasing and just stood in the one opening I knew I had to prevent him from taking.  The one spot in the entire field that is not fenced off leads directly into 10 acres of corn field.  If he went there, I decided I was going to give him up for dead.  Donating him to the coyotes.  Washing my hands of him.  Keeping him out was important. 

Oops, that grass line was supposed to be in pink.  The pig, not I, was eating the grass.


The plan worked, and he started to head back towards the barns.  I simply followed behind him.

Be vewy, vewy, quiet.  I'm hunting runaway pigs.

I can't tell you how much I was wishing for at least a ghillie suit, if not a cane/flashlight/stun gun.

Finally, finally he made his way back to the area just outside the pen where I had the best chance of corralling him.  Of course, he went straight towards Cuckoo.

Did I mention (or did it come across in the video?) that Cuckoo loves pigs, but only if the pigs are on the other side of a fence?  When the pig came towards him, Cuckoo simply took off with my phone and kept on running until he got inside the house.  I didn't see a single glimpse of him after that.

I managed to get the exits blockaded while the runaway pig nana-nana-poo-pood the pigs still stuck on the inside of the pen.  It was no Fort Knox of redneck fencing, but it was enough to keep the pig from heading for the hills.  Well, for the corn.

Next to the white barn you will see a section of an old fence, some long boards, and an old trough, all dug out of the surrounding barns and hauled over to the opening.  I'm nothing if not resourceful. 
All I had left to do was get him to walk to the gate, get around him to unlock and open the gate without spooking him off, and get him to walk through.  Oh, and do it without letting the other pigs out. 

It was Roy who finally saved me.  He must have had a rest, because out of nowhere he began another barking frenzy.  The two penned pigs went to investigate, so I was able to open the gate.   I held it open, stretched out in order to kick the pig on the rump to turn him in the right direction, and in he walked.

As he passed by me, I swear I heard him say, "I am only going into this pen, because I'm full and could use a nap.  I am choosing to go in."  He then plopped down in a giant mud puddle.

I locked the gate and limped back to the house.  Cuckoo met me at the door.

Me:  Why did you leave me there by myself?

C:  Oh, I thought the dogs could help you. 

Me: 

C:  And I don't like the pigs out of their fence.

Me either, Babe.  Me either.

*********** update********

It just so happens that the FTSF sentence is I deserve a medal for...

I think we can all agree.  I deserve the "Caught a Pig All on Her Own Without Uttering One Single Cuss Word" medal.

I accept.

Finish the Sentence Friday

Have a lovely day!

*If you are having trouble with the video, go here.

39 comments:

  1. Loved the video! I think the topsy, turvy, upside-down filming helped the viewers understand what you were feeling at the time. And of course, hearing Cuckoo's, "Mom, get him back in! Can you get him in?" was priceless!

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    Replies
    1. I'm sure it was the feeling Cuckoo was going for. :)

      It still makes me smile.

      Delete
  2. I love this so much I have already watched it twice.

    "Mom, tan you det him back in?"

    "I'm TRYING."

    "Mom! Mom! Mom! Det him back in."

    You are a pig wrangling champion.

    And you said "shoot" when the future hamhock got out. I don't care if my 4 year old was videoing me, I don't think I would have been able to show that much restraint.

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    1. I was quite impressed when I watched it, too. After all these years, I must have an autopilot censor.

      I'm glad you like it.

      Delete
  3. Just WOW! Cannot begin to tell you how much I love this. (apart from you re-spraining your ankle - don't love that much). Pig-tures, VIDEO, and the cutest-EVER likkle-boy voice narrating the whole thing.

    Absolutely epic post, and quite possibly nearly trumping my current favourite of yours :) Certainly in the silliness stakes it wins by miles.

    Glad you got the pig back in the pen.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I knew you'd like it, once I was FINALLY able to get the video on here. (Thanks for the help!)

      Oooh, a "favorite" contender?! :)

      Me, too.

      Delete
    2. Also, this would TOTALLY make an excellent 'I think I deserved a medal the time I...' for FTSF this week. You should SO add this one in. You would win all the medals :)

      Delete
    3. Ha! I didn't even think about that! I shall add it. :)

      Delete
  4. So Adorable little guy!!! oh goodness! and when exactly are the pigs going to the butcher? I am sure you will love that bacon even more after all that work!
    Glad you "dot that pig" back in the pen! poor little guy! I love how calm you sounded in the video!

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    1. Pigs go to butcher on Wednesday. I cannot wait.

      It wasn't calm as much as "Good heavens, I'm out of shape. I can't breathe!"

      Delete
  5. "Mama, can you det him back in? Mom...det him back IN!" Personally I think the videographer did a smashing job and truly captured the experience for all of us. :)

    Once again, I love that you are a fake farmer so I don't have to be. (But I'm sorry about your ankle...that's a bummer. But it's all for the love of a great post, right? You show such true dedication to your readers. So thanks for taking one for the team!)

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    Replies
    1. I think we may have found a career for the lad.

      I do it all for you. :)

      Delete
  6. That was awesome!!! You should totally get Cuckoo to be your personal videographer, he can just follow you around and record your life!

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    1. Really, though, we could get much of the same effect with a tape recorder. Anyone still have one of those?

      Delete
  7. Ok, I seriously couldn't even imagine, but hell yes, you deserve a medal for catching the pic and not uttering a single curse word, because lord knows I wouldn't be able to hold my tongue if it were me!! Thanks for linking this up with us and seriously got a good chuckle on your last line!! :)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. I'm glad you got a laugh. It helps lessen the pain when I can at least make people laugh. :)

      Delete
  8. You definitely get the award for capturing a pig. Well, Roy does. You get one for not cussing or turning him into bacon. Which is what I thought pigs were raised for, but I'm from the suburbs so I am probably mistaken :)

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    1. Roy won't be getting my award. He was merely my wingman, barking at the right time. :)
      They will become bacon next week, actually...

      Delete
  9. Bwahahahahahahahaha. I would have loved to see all of this on the video. I really would have.

    Have a terrific day and congratulations on your awards. Well deserved. :)

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    1. Oh, yes, the video of me actually chasing that sucker down would be good. Maybe next time...

      Delete
  10. Oh so funny!! I would have loved to see you catch that pig! You definitely deserve a medal!

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    1. It wasn't pretty, that's for sure. I'm sure you all would have gotten a good laugh at my expense. :)
      Thanks!

      Delete
  11. LOVE your diagrams! You sure do draw a mean pig! ;)

    Cuckoo has the cutest voice! He did sound a little scared at one point!

    I, too, was impressed that you didn't swear! I would have said a few choice words!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. If it weren't for the context, would you even know it was a pig? :)

      I will miss his voice soooo very much when he grows. Yes, he was scared a bit. He's afraid of all animals at some level.

      I'm actually kind of shocked I didn't swear. My brain must have an autopilot when the video camera is on me. :)

      Delete
  12. Oh, hilarious! A profanity-free pig captures deserves a medal and some chocolate, too, methinks. Your little boy's voice is so stinkin' precious! Wish we could have seen more of you, lady! Your pictures are awesome! High five, pig whisperer!

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    1. Here, here to chocolate!!

      I love his voice so much, I just wish he was a better videographer.

      Delete
  13. Oh, I so wished I had a farm, all the fun you have. The pictures are great!!

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    1. It cracks me up that you made that comment after this post. While we do have fun, I can't say this was a fun moment. I'm still in pain today. :)

      Delete
  14. very cool

    (and speaking from the 1960s, I will say, the world-is-upside-down special effect totally made the movie. )

    ...proving that dogs are really as helpful as we are willing to allow.

    Sequel?

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    1. :) Glad you like the "special effects".

      Delete
  15. OMG.....I forgot how stinking cute a 4 y/o sounds!!! You have quite the videographer in the making. And you...you run like the wind!!! So fast that your hair blew right off. ;P

    I too am super impressed that not a single cuss word crossed your lips. *high five*

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    1. The cutest, no?

      How 'bout that speed? Thought the hair added a little more needed info. :)

      *high five*

      Delete
  16. OMG I don't even know where to start. I may have had a comment before watching the video but um. Yeah. I watched that video transfixed. The Mama? I am? And you telling him to stop and they why and the "Get it (him?) back"??? Was beyond awesome. You may have become my new favorite today (don't tell Lizzi).

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    1. I'm guessing Lizzi already knows, but I'm sure she'd be fine with it. :)

      Delete
  17. OMG...I love it...Must have been scary while it was happening, but what a cute memory to have. I bet he'll enjoy watching that when he's older,

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    1. The only scary thing was thinking about my $700 walking out into the cornfield. At least for me. For Cuckoo, lots more to be afraid of. yes, we will all enjoy this for years to come.

      Delete
  18. That was too cute! I love the "you almost got him in Mama", LOL. Never a dull moment there huh?

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    1. Never dull, that is for sure. His encouragement is the only thing keeping me going through the ordeal. (Ok, it wasn't. But I'm loving hearing it afterwards.)

      Delete

Thank you for taking the time to tell me what you're thinking!