Thursday, September 5, 2013

Pigs, Puke, and Purposeless Post

The week started out swimmingly.  We had a great time with 15 church/school families whom we adore at our annual Labor Day party.   In years past, we've invited lots more than that, but for a variety of reasons, we cut the list this year.  It was a much nicer day for me, and I don't really care if it was for anyone else. 

Besides the bat visitor, there weren't any snafus.  So I thought.

The next morning, as I was getting ready to leave for the grocery store, Cuckoo, eating breakfast and looking out the window, nonchalantly stated, "There's a pig out."

A quick glance confirmed his observation.  A few inappropriate words told him what I thought about that observation.

Giant was the only one to answer my "ThepigsareoutIneedsomeheeeeeeelp!" call.  (COW was in the shower, one boy was still sleeping, and one got confused as to what was going on.)

I went outside, got Roy tied up, and headed to where I last saw the pig.  As soon as he saw me, he came running up towards me, with his two friends following.  Not exactly how I wanted this to go down.  I now had pigs all over the side yard, and not one single thing to help me corral them, except Giant.

I really just want to just say yada, yada, yada right here, and I find that very disconcerting.  It seems a story about a pig escape just isn't as interesting as it used to be.  When you've had to give them shots or drag a dead one out of a waterer, simply herding them back to their pen, with only the help of a 10 year old boy, doesn't seem so blog-worthy.

So, yada, yada, yada, 5 minutes of, "Here Piggy, Piggy...I have some food for you..." and "Hey, get back here!  I said COME HERE!!"  and a bit of pig wrestling to get one facing the right direction, and the pigs were back in their pen.  I was a sweaty, filthy mess, but at least COW was nice and clean and relaxed.

(FYI the pigs got out through the open gate.  Apparently, during the party, a ball went into the pig pen.  A party guest went to go through the gate, but one of my kids just hopped the fence to get it out.  The guest didn't know how to re-lock the gate properly (with both the chain AND the bungy cord (fake farmers, remember?  Lucky it's not a zip tie.), so it was left half done.  The pigs figured out the sloppy workmanship.)

Well, I guess with such bad storytelling, you deserve at least one illustration.

No animals were harmed during this scuffle.  They weren't "taken advantage of" either, regardless of what it looks like.

After the pig escape and the grocery run, my mom, my brother, and his family came to visit for the afternoon.  We had a great time, with plenty of chatting and laughter.  We also spent a couple of hours playing a "friendly" game of volleyball.

Being the best mom/aunt that I am, I made all of the kids feel better about their ball-handling.  At one point, the ball had been waywardly hit by one of my teammates, so I rushed out of bounds to hit it back into play.  Well, I got to it in time, but my hit was just a bit off.  Basically, it looked like this:

Don't be jealous of my mad drawing abilities.  Or my freakishly long, elbowless arms.

I simply, instinctively caught the ball.  And got a "rug burn" on the tip of my nose.

Everyone else got grass stains, seeing as how they were rolling all over the grass while uncontrollably laughing.

What else...

Oh.  Phoenix turned 15 on Tuesday with zero to no fanfare.  He had practice after school, and only one hour between getting home and leaving again for a Scout meeting.  At breakfast he had requested stuffed shells for his birthday dinner.  He didn't even get that.  Cuckoo started running a fever as we were about to go to the store to buy the ingredients and only wanted to lay on me.  I couldn't get to the store, and I couldn't make a nice dinner. 

I did take him to DQ after his meeting, where I was happy to see Blizzards are on sale, buy one get one for 99 cents.  A round of Birthday Blizzards it was.

Back to the vomit, if I may.  I learned something during this bout of stomach illness.  I am no longer a catcher of puke.  I don't know why, but I used to have the instinct to catch puke when it exited my child.  Like my brain thought by catching it, I was cutting down on the mess I would have to clean up.

Well, on Tuesday, as the fevered Cuckoo lay on me and making me sweat up a storm, he started puking.  Did I reach out to catch it?  Um, no.  I threw him off of me while simultaneously reaching for my phone (which was on the ground next to us) to get it out of the line of pukefire. 

I don't love him less than the older kids, I just care about my floor less than I used to.  (We'll just gloss over the fact that I love my phone more.)

The one time I put him down all day, he was asleep within seconds.

Before Cuckoo's fever started, we had our first morning back to teaching preschool.   I only work for 2 hours/week, which seems a bit ridiculous, but it is what it is.  My boss just can't seem to let me go.

It's going to be an interesting year, especially if one little girl doesn't get her settings turned off of "whine".  The sound of whining grates on me more than fingers on a chalkboard (yet another phrase the young people will not understand), and her particular kind of whine is the worst.  Even when she's telling me about a trip to Disney, she has the whine in her voice.  I'm going to have to work on getting my settings turned to "superhuman patience" before next Tuesday rolls around.

And lastly, we had a mandatory parent meeting at the high school last night.  (Mandatory, as in, if a parent doesn't come, your child doesn't go here next semester.)  It was a good meeting in that it confirmed my belief that I'm sending the kids to the right high school.  It was a horrible meeting, because did you know how many kids do drugs and drink alcohol as teens?  And some parents believe the theory, "Kids are going to do it anyway, so we might as well keep them safe while they do it."  I may never let my kids go anywhere except school and home. 

Well, I think that's about enough random for one day. 

Come back another day, when we will be discussing...

Who knows.  I'm flying by the seat of my pants, here.

You probably knew that by now, though.

Have a lovely day!


  1. I love the drawing. And don't worry about the yadda yadda - you'll get your mojo back.

    Poor Cuckoo! Hope he's feeling better now, and that you managed to protect your phone. I guess there's something to be said for having the experience of 5 older kids to allow you to know what priorities count (not the floor, apparently).

    Glad the school you chose is the right one. I'm sure that really helps.

    What IS IT with bosses and insistence. Mine's bugging me at the moment to come back and I don't WANT TO!

    Enjoy the rest of your week and whatever fun times and First Experiences it might bring ;) Take care, yo!

    1. He is feeling better. Thanks. Priorities changed with the addition of each child.

      It is a great school, but I'm still anxious. So much happens in high school years...

      It's because they don't want to lose our awesomeness. :)

      Thanks. :)

  2. I still catch the pukes... one day I hope to STOP wwwww

    Poor birthday boy, it happens to the best of us. We had stuffed shells last week. YUMMY! With bread and our favorite irish Gold butter.

    I will never understand parents who provide alcohol to their children "so they can protect them while they drink?" Really how's that working? breaking the law to "protect" great parenting idea?!?!?!

    I enjoyed the pig story, awkward drawing and all.

    1. I know you do. You really need to stop doing that. :)

      My kids LOVE stuffed shells. Love, love, love them. They are constantly asking when we can have them again.

      It makes no sense to me at all. My college roommate's parents were of that mind. She had drinking parties when she was in high school. I remember thinking there was something wrong with that logic back then.

      Thanks. :)

  3. I've never caught puke, and never will. I'm just saying.

    I would have a really, really, really hard time with the whiner. That drives me right up the wall in seconds.

    Have a terrific day. ☺

    1. You are one of the smart ones!

      I know. It's a good thing I'm only in there for a couple hours a week. I can handle it for that long.

  4. I don't know what was funnier....the story of the pig catching or the drawing. Um, DEFINITELY the drawing! Ha ha!

    Hope the little guy feels better soon!

    You already know my feelings about catching the puke! ;)

    1. ha! Thought you'd like it. :)

      He is feeling better, though he is still quite out of sorts.

      Um, yes. :)

  5. I don't blame you for not catching the pukes...because if you catch it, you might actually CATCH it. Hope he's feeling better and that no one else got it.

    Happy birthday to Phoenix! And yeah on Birthday Blizzards!

    I think your drawings are fabulous...they may, in fact, be exactly why you work at a preschool (which I can say b/c I am still lingering in my preschool as a sub...but it may not be that they can't let me go; it might be because I can't let them go!)

    1. He's doing better, and so far the house is clear.

      Yeah! Get your family out to enjoy them while they're cheap(er)!

      Thank you! I try to make more appropriate drawings for the preschool set, though. :)

  6. I smile every time I read your posts. Your life sounds like a zoo. A good zoo, though. :-) Love the artwork. Adds a nice touch. so sorry your little one is sick. He looks wiped out. I can't stand the philosophy of "kids are gonna do it anyway." SO many parents take that attitude regarding all kinds of crap/risky behavior. I love the fact that Catholic schools demand parents' input, or the kid goes. Parents have been getting a free ride for a decade or more. OK, off my soap box now.

    1. Aw, thanks. It is a zoo, and not always a good one. :)

      He was zonked, and still quite tired all through the next day, too.

      Sounds like we have similar soap boxes. :)

  7. Where I come from, nobody would think you were taking advantage of the pig from that drawing. They would just ask if the pig was worth doin'.

  8. I think those parents must have misunderstood. Parental supervision keeps kids safe from drugs and alcohol, but not if the parents actually allow the kids to have those substances!

    1. I wish that were the case. I've seen it plenty of times, and it just makes me sad for all of them.

  9. Poor little guy, hope he feels better!

    I know how your feel with the whining. My little one can do it from wake-up to bed-time on bad days, I must have nerves like steel cables ;-)

    The pig story is so funny. I wasn't even aware you had pigs... So funny ;-)

    Hope you have a better rest of the week! "See" you for the weekend link-up!

    1. Feeling better, but still wiped.

      Cuckoo was quite whiny the day after his fever, mostly because he was tired. While I knew why he was whining, it still grated on me. Had to pull out the superhuman patience card that day!

      Weren't aware I had pigs?!?! Wow! The pigs stories are the reason many people read this blog!

      Looking forward to seeing your list this week!

  10. I hate shouting groceries...but I love pigs. Not eating them though. So if there is ever that post - give me a heads up not to come on that day. ;)

    1. While I won't have a post on the actual butchering of a pig, I will probably post about going to the butcher. The title will give you a heads up. :)

  11. Your random always puts a smile on my face. Poor Cuckoo. :( Great new pics of most of your kids. ;P

    1. You noticed I only did new pics of "most"? Crud. :)

      I'm glad you like the random. Cuckoo is back to his old self, thankfully.

  12. It's posts like these and blogs like yours that are perfect examples of why I blog and why I read blogs. It's a beautiful thing to know that it doesn't just happen to me!!

    I didn't have pigs out this week, but our dog acts like one sometimes. Came home from work and she had rooted the trash cans around, strung out the waterhose and practically ate a toy watering can. About an hour ago, I was changing sheets on the bed b/c they were covered in vomit. I was also shoving a trash can in my kids face trying to prevent mess on the carpet while he's just saying "hold me." :-/

    I do hope your weekend is lovely!


    1. Yikes! There is always something coming up to distract us from our daily plans.

      Hope your weekend was vomit-free and dog misbehavior-free, too!

  13. 1. It truly does look as though a pig were violated in the process of wrestling him back into the pen.
    2. So, now you have a scab on the end of your nose?
    3. I have a catch-the-puke story AND a phone-in-the-puke story. Guess I'll have to write about them some day.
    4. Poor Cuckoo! His little cheeks are flushed. Did anyone else catch the bug from him, or was it an isolated thing?
    5. I told a 3 year old in my primary class on the second day of school that she was GETTING ON MY VERY LAST NERVE. Perhaps I need to check my superhuman patience setting and see if it is functioning.

    1. 1. I know. I never claimed to be a great illustrator.
      2. No, it wasn't quite that bad. Minor burn.
      3. Please make that day very soon.
      4. We are on child #3. Turken is over it, but Buttercup has been home from school for 2 days.
      5. Hahaha!! Perhaps you should. Remind me to tell you about my first experience subbing in a middle school. I said a lot worse than that! :)

  14. I like the pig story and the drawing made me laugh.

    I've just been on holiday and went to an animal sanctuary yesterday, they have the most enormous pig I've ever seen, named Catherine Zeta Pig. I don't know what breed she is but she's very pink and very HUGE. I did try to take a photo but she kept turning her back on me so I gave up and snapped a smaller one instead.

    1. I'm glad. :)

      Yikes! I can't say I'd want a gigantic pig named after me. At the state fair each year, they have what they claim to be the world's biggest boar. They usually weigh in at around 1200 pounds. I've never actually seen one move, let alone turn its back on someone.

      Astounding how big a pig can get. We only let ours grow to about 300 pounds.


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