Monday, September 23, 2013

I'm So Going to Be a Cliche When I'm Old(er)

I do not want my kids to grow up.

Just felt like I had to get that out of the way before we begin.

It is a fact, unfortunately, that these dear ones will grow up.  They are growing up very quickly as I type. 

I can't change the fact, so I'm going to embrace it.  At least for today.

There are some definite advantages to children growing older and leaving the proverbial nest.

Our Listicle assignment this week is to list

10 Things I Look Forward To

1.  Eating out at every meal.  I enjoy cooking for other people.  I enjoy making them happier by putting their favorite meals in front of them.  I don't enjoy the pressure of having to come up with something to feed 8 people every single night, taking busy schedules into account.  When the kids are gone, there won't be anyone to make happy with food except COW, and he's happy with 4 pounds of hot dogs.

2.  Doing what I want when I want to do it.  My day is completely and utterly ruled by the schedules of other people.  My hair has been needing a cut for weeks now.  I haven't been able to exercise in an eternity.  I can't even go to the bathroom without someone yelling for me.  I'm really OK with it most of the time, but I am looking forward to being able to just browse through a store at a leisurely pace when the mood strikes.

3.  Walking through my house without thinking, "This house is a disaster!"  Messes make me crazy after a while.  I am pretty good about enjoying the kids and not getting overly concerned with a spotless house.  However, I have my limits.  I look forward to the day when my limits never get tested.

4.  Being friends with my kids.  I am a firm believer in being a parent, not a friend, with one's children.  While we do have plenty of fun, they know that I'm in charge.  Just yesterday I was talking to Phoenix about what I envision our relationship to be once he is older.  I expect to have loads and loads of fun with them, once I don't have to constantly remind them to brushteethputdishesawaydohomeworktakeashowerdoyourchores. 

5.  Traveling with my husband.  We both love, love, love to go new places and see new things.  We have put less into the kids' college accounts in order to put more into our retirement accounts.  As he gets older, he will be able to work less and less, and we will be going more and more.

6.  Volunteering/Working in a variety of ways I can't with children in tow.  There are so many things I want to do to help in schools and shelters and food pantries and hospitals.  I have thought I would like to be a doulah, helping women through the birth of their children.  I have thought about volunteering in the classrooms of inner-city schools, where parent involvement is much, much less than it is at my own children's school.  So many options, I am going to have a hard time choosing which ones to do.

7.  Spending more time with COW on a daily basis.  We only get a few, short minutes each night to see each other and chat before he's falling asleep on the couch.  I won't even have to wait until the kids move out for this one.  Once they are in school, I'll be able to have lunch with him at least a few times each month.  Once they are no longer needing us to take them to school, I see us spending the morning going to daily Mass and hanging out with our friends over breakfast, then doing something fun most days of the week.

8.  Seeing what my children do with their lives.  They all have such potential to do so many things.  It will be fun (I hope and pray) to see what career paths they choose, the adventures they pursue, the families they have, and the enjoyment they get out of life.

9.  Moving to a condo.  When we bought this house, COW and I made a deal.  We'd live here for 40 years, then it was off to a condo for us.  I don't foresee us making it to 40 years.  By year 25, after Cuckoo heads off on his own, we will be ready to give up the work of the little farm.  (I have no doubt, the chickens and pigs will be gone well before that.)  Can't have grass needing to be mowed if we are planning to be circling the globe a few times over. 

10.  Playing with grandkids.  We have made it clear to our kids that we will not be the grandparents taking the grandkids to school each day or taking care of them while their parents work.  We will, however, be fantastic grandparents.   We will have slumber parties and take them on trips and go to their games and have special dates with them.  It will be so much fun. 

Well, I've clearly got a long way to go before these things come to pass.  Two little boys are now at my knee begging me to play a game.  I'm off to play.  Someday, there will be plenty of time for writing and editing. 

Crossing my fingers there aren't too many typos...

Have a lovely day!

32 comments:

  1. I hope and pray I'm nevah, evah a grandparent. I started much too late havin' kids, so I tell my boys to "Wrap It Up" if ya know what I'm sayin'!!!!!!

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    1. Oh, Deb, are you worried you and your grandkids will be in diapers at the same time??

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    2. I spit out my coffee on that one. Hahahaha!!!!!!

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  2. They they will come home for their favorite meal. You'll see. Not a lot, but they will ask for their favorite meal at some point.

    Hubby and I are all alone and we love it. we go where we want and the rest of the family are very happy we do. It's what we earned and we're living it to the fullest.

    The house does stay clean too. Yes it does.

    Have a terrific day. :)

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    1. I'm hoping they will. I will have to keep a couple of secrets from my daughters-in-law so my boys need to come "home" for their favorites. :)

      I'm glad to hear you are enjoying your empty nest, but even more so to hear everyone is happy for you.

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  3. Stunningly beautiful dreams for the future. I hope you get them all :)

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  4. I am so glad you shared this! After struggling through a day where I realize we have gone through yet another cycle without getting pregnant, this list helps me to see the things I should be thankful for today. The eating out all the time, the doing what I want when I want, spending lots of one-on-one time with hubby, traveling whenever we want without a thought... all those things are things I need to think about and be thankful for today. I totally take those things for granted! Funny how a list that applies to you in the future, after kids, applies to me in the present, before kids.

    And like Lizzi, I hope you get them all, too! :)

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    1. First, I'm so sorry to hear the news about another cycle coming and going. I know how difficult that is, as we went through it, too, before our firstborn.
      We were married more than 4 years before we had Phoenix, and I really do see it as a blessing to have that time to just be a couple, getting to know each other and learning the quirks of each other and just plain enjoying each other. (Sure, we were dirt poor for three of those 4 years, unable to afford dinner out or nice trips, but we still enjoyed our time together.) I'm glad my post helped you see some positives during this difficult time. I'll keep praying for you.

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    2. Sorry to hear that this month wasn't the time for you, Lana *hugs*

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  5. I'm like Sandee...alone in the nest and loving it! A post I wrote a couple weeks ago actually mentions many of these very things you are looking forward to! All in good time! http://inmomopause.com/2013/08/12/the-view-from-the-empty-nest/

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    1. Go Hoosiers!! I will be right on over to see how life looks from the other side. :)

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  6. Oh your list makes me so sad...and happy all at once. I know it probably does you too. I know you don't want them to grow up so I'm glad you can at least look forward and see the positives in it. :)

    Thanks for sharing, sweet friend. :)

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  7. Oh yeah, I really look forward to living in a house as neat as I leave it someday! And not making meals and cleaning them up afterwards.

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    1. Definitely something to look forward to, but I'm guessing your secret garden will help you get through. :)

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  8. OMG... really? They only YELL for you. I usually have a parade traipsing through my bathroom when I am going. Dog. Kids. Husband. Neighbors. (Okay, not the neighbors.) Haven't been "by" to say hi... but I have been thinking about ya!

    Julia

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    1. Yes, we are a closed-door family. It is the one and only place of privacy for all family members. Sure, they may be clawing at the door, but that door is firmly closed. :)

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  9. Well, I am living the life you are dreaming of. My children are grown. We live in a condo. But we DON'T eat out every meal. That would get boring. We eat out maybe once a week. We did a lot of traveling when we lived in our RV and were on the the road for 7 years; now we are settled. Yes, it is a good life. But so was raising the kids. Believe me, the time goes by SO FAST you won't know what hit you. Pretty soon your youngest will be graduating college and you'll be like, "How did THAT happen?"

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    1. I've known since I met you in April that you were living my future dream life. Except for the RV. I don't think we'll be traveling in one of those.
      Time is flying, that is for sure, and getting faster each year. It's only going to get worse. I'm doing everything I can to hold on to everything I can to make it slow down.

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  10. Oh I absolutely LOVED this!!!!! Yes to all! Well except maybe number 7...tee hee. Since we are both "retired"...we spend waaaaayyyy too much time together. Haha!

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    1. Ha! I hear that happens a lot when retirement hits. I've no doubt, he'll need his introverted self's alone time, and he'll get it while I'm out with friends. :)

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  11. This is a wonderful list. I hope you get to travel and I agree with you...........taking a side note now, to remind my girls, I'll be a fantastic grandparent one day, but not the kind that has to actually babysit. lol. I have a ways to go. Right now I'm looking forward to the day they stop bickering so much. I actually have babysat other people's children since I was 13, on and off. Seems like those same people have forgotten them days......... ha. Hopefully, I won't be one of those parents that are still telling my children to pick up their messes in their adult lives. :)

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    1. I teach preschool, and I am amazed by how many kids are picked up by their grandparents. It is becoming very common for grandparents to assist their children in raising their grandkids on a daily basis. I want my kids to know that we have plans for our retirement, and while we love them dearly, we plan on traveling.
      When my kids move out, I'm done telling them to clean up. And they will move out. :)

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  12. Traveling with my husband seems like a faraway dream. Some day...some day!

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  13. Yes! I am already living in a studio with my husband when I daydream. So ,uh less to clean. In fact I have a cleaner for my imaginary studio ;)

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    1. Oh, someone to clean for me!!?!? Why have I not thought of that?!??

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  14. Seeing what my children do with their lives and playing with grandkids has to be my favorites. That's really mostly al that I want....traveling is awesome but nothing compared to traveling with our kids' growth.
    Excellent list. Also? I've had 5 hours sleep so I may be commenting dumbly...because you had something about doing what you want? And sleep? AWESOME.

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    1. It will be very interesting to see if the kids' choices line up with the predictions we've made.
      I have a feeling we'll be doing plenty of traveling with kids/grandkids in tow.

      Yes, doing what I want, including sleeping, will be high on the list.

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  15. beautiful dreams for the future. I want all those things too! Time goes faster than we think. Enjoy the days you're in. My kids are now grown, and I still long for those days when they were little once in a while. Every phase has pros and cons!

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Thank you for taking the time to tell me what you're thinking!