Tuesday, December 2, 2014

What a Mom Wants: My Ultimate Dream Home

Our house was built right at the end of the Civil War.

In 1866, they had no idea what the future held, so plumbing and electricity and wi-fi were not part of the plans.  Our house, while beautiful, has needed lots and lots and lots of work.  There's still plenty to do.  One day we'll have a garage in order to prevent the dogs from going after the opossums that like to hide under the car.  We'll finish the job the little boys have started and tear ALL the wallpaper down in order to paint.  We'll (maybe) have a closet in our bedroom.

But even if I never get any of those things, I'll still love our house and property.

When I read that the theme for this week's Tuesday's 10 is Things We Would Include in Our Ultimate Dream Home, the only thing I could think of was "pick our house and property up and plop it down next door to school".  The commute is wearing me out.

And then I thought, "But this is supposed to be my ULTIMATE dream home"!

Imagine...

1. I want lights that automatically turn on when someone enters a room and turns off when the person leaves.  Sure, I might short it out when I get stuck in one of my enter-a-room-forget-why-I-was-there-exit-the-room-remember-and-return-only-to-forget-again cycles, but it would be worth the call to the service man if it means I don't have to turn lights off all around the house all day long.

2. I want a force field surrounding every single fragile (I'd appreciate it if you pronounce that fra-gee-lay.) thing in my house.  How wonderful would my life be if I didn't have to worry about basketballs, soccer balls, bouncy balls, fuseball balls, and boys'...feet crashing through a window?!?!

3. I want each bathroom to have a door that automatically locks when a child enters the facilities. The door would not unlock to release the child until said child actually flushes the toilet, washes his hands the appropriate length of time and with the appropriate amount of soap, and hangs the hand towel back on the towel bar.

4.  I want a slide.  It would be so much more pleasant for both the kids and me to go "Weeeeee" as we slide down a slide than "OWOWOWOWOW!!" as we slip and bounce down those hard, wooden stairs.

5.  I want a super, jet-engine fan like they have at the end of drive-through car washes in all entrances to our house.  Unlike at the car wash, where the fans dry the cars, our fans would blow off every bit of mud, dirt, bug, twig, poop, and general nastiness from the children.  In an emergency, like running late for church, it could also work to rid the children of milk mustaches, syrup drips, and peanut butter clumped in the hair.

6.  I want a library book tracker that will locate any and all library books checked out in my children's names on the day that I decide to take the books back to the library.  It needs to have an unlimited range for those instances in which a book was left under a bed at Grandma's house in Ohio.

7.  I want sensors in every room that detects when a child is about to leave the room before cleaning up his/her mess.  The sensor would send out a swarm of mechanical gnats to annoy and nip at the child until the child gets back in the room to sets things to rights.

8.  I want a toy magnet.  I could stand in a room, holding the magnet, and every single missing puzzle piece, game piece, marble, playing card, and Lego (aka foot-impaler-in-waiting) would jump from its hiding place and fly to the magnet.

9.  I want an x-ray machine that can scan the many totes stacked in the basement and tell me which tote has clothing that will actually fit the child I have standing with me, thus avoiding said child having to don 100 articles of clothing in order to find the 10 that fit him each and every stinking season.

10. I want a heated walkway and driveway like the car washes have.  I'm afraid this winter is going to be as bad as the last one, and I really, really would like to avoid shoveling the walkway 7 times a day.  I would also like to skip the inevitable get Bryan and other men who can't drive in snow unstuck from the driveway.

Imagine.

OK, so that may not have been what the ladies who host this link-up were thinking when they came up with the prompt, but that's where my brain went.  Feel free to head over to their sites to see what other people dream about.

What would you have in your dream house?

Have a lovely day!


The Golden Spoons


23 comments:

  1. Those are all awesome ideas! What a great list! I really need a child sensor to help with all those messes that appear around my house.

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  2. Great ideas. What does hubby say about all your wants? Old houses are way cool, but you're right they lack all the modern necessities.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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    1. He hasn't said a word. :)
      It has been quite a long haul getting modern conveniences installed, as well as fixing the ones the previous owner did the wrong way.

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  3. You need to put a patent on #6. That's an excellent idea. As for #3 your sentence is longer than they stay in the bathroom isn't it? LOL! I would like to have a pool and a pool cleaning person and I'd like the whole thing to be screened in (like we have room for that) so that I can enjoy being outside without the bother of bugs an mosquitos. And I don't actually know for certain that bugs and mosquitos can be kept out of a screened pool area but that would be nice.

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    1. I'm ok with someone taking the idea and making one. As long as it gets made. :)

      Ha! For some of the kids, yes, the sentence was longer. Ugh.

      There are screened pool areas all over Florida, so they must work at least a bit. That would be a nice addition, for sure.

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  4. 1 - One of the places where I work has lights like that, it's great to be able to move round from office to office without ever having to touch a light switch.

    There's really only one thing I want in my house and that's a kitchen like this - http://www.tvadmusic.co.uk/tag/ikea/ - I could even walk the dogs in bad weather without going outside :)

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    1. Oh my word, I got dizzy just watching it. :)

      The kids' school has those lights in the bathrooms. I love them!

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  5. *grins* I think all of these are fab! I especially like the toy magnet and the lightswitch one. But ya gotta stop sliding down the stairs on your butt.

    Might be a silly idea - if you get a length of plastic sheeting and put it down before snow, could you then tip the snow off in the morning?

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    1. I keep telling the kids to HOLD ONTO THE RAILING!! and it helps, but we all still fall. Actually Buttercup did right after I wrote that part of the list.

      Not a silly idea. Some people do that sort of thing for their windshields. I don't mind shoveling the walkway the first time. The problem is the wind. Our house faces south, so the wind blows right across our front yard, thus blowing new snow onto the walkway within 20 minutes of me shoveling. It really is a never-ending battle.

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  6. …that's because, in 1866 they hadn't invented coat hangers yet!*

    (as to #10)…. think luge… cept narrow enough that you have to stand up… get to the car without having to take a step!


    * the lack of closets… no coat hangers, no need for closets

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    1. While that would be a good point in most houses, not the case in this one. The three bedrooms that are original to the house have 2 or 3 closets each! It is the master bedroom, which was added onto the house in 1990, that has no closet. Riddle me that, Clark!

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  7. I love this dream house!! Very creative and imaginative - and I don't know any mom who wouldn't love it!

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  8. I WANT that bathroom TOO!!!!!!!! Please!!! You could make money on that one, seriously!!!! That's it I want #7 sensors TOO!!!! Oh please please please !!!!! I LOVE YOUR LIST, this is a dream home for sure!!!!

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    1. I have too many kids and we have more than one bathrooms. I can't stand guard at the bathroom door all day! We need automatic locks!
      #7 is also on my most wanted list. Imagine what our houses could look like...

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  9. NAILED IT!!!!!! I want EVERY SINGLE THING on your list!!!! Can I add that we could (cause it's MY house now too) a laser beam that automatically zaps the kids when they forget to do a chore or homework or perhaps they 'can't hear us' when we give them instructions? It won't harm them, just buzz them enough to startle them. They can be planted all over the house... what do ya think?

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    1. Hahahaha! Don't think I didn't think of something like that. I was trying to come up with a way for the kids to be...not hurt...but...I don't know the word. My first thought was "When a kid walks by and groans when he sees what I'm making for dinner, the kid would be tripped. Not enough to hurt him, but enough to make me laugh." I thought it might be too mean, but now that I see you putting lasers in, I'm not mean at all! :) Lasers are a great idea. :)

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  10. Perfect home - I love the automatic lights on and off, the bathroom brilliant and the gnats before leaving a room genius - we need an engineer and an architect- I want this house too! :)

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  11. This house sounds awesome! I think you did the prompt up right!! Way to go. In honor of your creativity, I'll award you, not one, but TWO toy magnets...as soon as someone invents one!

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  12. See now my list would have had silly things like a huge porch and a professional-grade kitchen. These are way better ideas! I especially like the bathroom door one. Although I think I'd have to add a monitor or sensor that somehow prods the child into action when they are in the bathroom doing a ten-minute stand-up routine instead of brushing teeth or taking a bath.

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  13. The only other thing I could come up with would be a "self-cleaning house". That is all. :D

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  14. LOL! Loved reading your list and oh, I could do with a library book tracker and a toy magnet too...they are going straight to the top of my Christmas list!

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Thank you for taking the time to tell me what you're thinking!