Monday LIsticles - It's All About Me

Today, I'm once again joining Stasha at The Good Life in her Monday Listicles.  The topic for today:  10 Ways That You Are Different or the Same as Your Younger Self.  My first reaction was, "You mean besides the wrinkles and extra jiggly flesh, right?"  Surely she is.  Listing all of our old lady features would just be depressing.  So, here are the other ways that I am the same and different than my younger self.

1.  In high school, I looked like this at all times.  Seriously, people were afraid that I was going to wear white sweats on my wedding day.

I have no idea why I posed in a way that made me look like I was picking a wedge.  Forget the stupid grin on my face. 

Pony tail, always.  Running shoes and athletic shirt, always.  My attempt at spiffying up my look was the shorts.  Notice that the pink running shirt totally matches the pink/blue/green plaid shorts.  I was so completely clueless about fashion, what fit, what looked good on me or together, how to do hair.  I was a hot mess.  You can read more about it here. 

Not saying that I'm a fashionista now, but I at least know how to look a bit put together.  I purposely get my hair cut too short for a pony tail so I won't be tempted.  I have real shoes, many even with heels, that I wear daily.  I don't leave the house unless I look something like this:  (keep in mind that I had a four year old holding a camera phone take this)

One thing hasn't changed, though.   I rarely wear make-up.

2.  From the time I was little, I have been obsessed with learning the lyrics to my favorite songs, and it seems that the more complicated the song is, the more I want to learn it.  When I was little, we didn't buy the cassette tapes (yes, this was waaaayyy before the CD was invented) of my favorite bands.  I had to tape them from the radio.  And then, since I didn't have the cover or the internet, I spent hours and hours typing out the words.  On a typewriter.  Type a few words, rewind, make sure I had it, listen, pause, type, rewind, relisten.  Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire" really gave me a run for my money.  But by golly, I was going to be able to sing those songs the right way!  These days, I am all over Train's "50 Ways to say Good-bye".  Fortunately, I don't have to type out the words.  Memorizing them is plenty hard enough.  And as always, the songs need to be sung at the top of my terrible voice while I dance myself into a sweat.

3.  I used to be afraid of all animals, and actually petrified of dogs.  To the point that if a strange dog came anywhere near me, I would freeze in that spot and tears would roll down as I prayed that it would just go away.  My best friend had a cat, and I made her close the bedroom door when I spent the night so the cat couldn't get in the room.  I would never sit on furniture unless my feet were up, fearful that the cat would grab at them from underneath the chair/couch.  We had endless animals growing up, and I was leery of every single one.  Well, except the duck.  There is nothing scary about a duck.

And now, I live on a freakin' farm.  I wrestle dogs, pigs, and chickens on a semi-regular basis.  I have dealt with bats, mice, opossums, raccoons, birds, and snakes without crying or screaming.  Maybe some cussing, but no screaming or crying.

4.  Back then, I worked out every day for two hours.  Now, unless you call laundry a work-out, I do nothing.

5.  I always did and always will (I hope) love learning new things and going on "adventures".  I babysat for our Jewish neighbors a lot.  Many, many times I would stay well after the parents returned home to practice learning Hebrew, help them get ready for holy days, and try their different types of food.  I also babysat for different neighbors (the rich neighbors) with whom I first went horseback riding and water skiing.  If people would ask me to go do something, I'd always answer, "Sure!"  (Legal things only.  My dad was high up in the police dept., so no one ever asked me to do anything illegal.)

I still like to try new things.  Hubby and I love taking vacations in which we have no agenda.  We simply get in the car and drive backroads, stopping whenever we see something that interests us.  We once went south, made it to New Orleans, where we went on a three hour tour, had lunch, then headed back north.  I love doing stuff like that. 

6.  I have always been and hopefully always will like to laugh.  A lot.

7.  I always have and probably always will have no trouble stating my mind.  I have my dad to thank for that.  When I was 18 I was called for jury duty.  The city I come from isn't all that big, so most of the lawyers knew my dad and knew that he was a policeman.  That meant I was dismissed more than once.  One man, though, asked me point-blank, "You are 18.  If you disagree with other jurors who are old enough to be your grandparents, will you be able to say so?"  I replied, "You said you know my dad.  I'm a lot like him."  For that jury, I was picked.

8.  I've said it before and I'll say it again.  I love math, especially algebra.  It was always my favorite subject in school.  In college, it totally saved my GPA, being that math classes were 5 credit hours, as opposed to the endlessly boring geography 3 credit classes.

9.  My mom was a very picky eater who didn't really cook, ergo, I was a picky eater who didn't know how to cook.  In our house, we ate a whole lot of canned corn, canned carrots, canned spinach, and mashed potatoes from a box.  Then I married Hubby, whose mother cooked a wide variety of foods from scratch.  I learned bits and pieces, but it wasn't until I had kids that I really got into cooking for real.  Now, there are few foods we eat from a box or can.

10.  And lastly, from the looks of this list, I still enjoy talking about myself.  Apparently, I tend to be a touch egotistical.

How about you?  How do you compare to your younger self?  Besides the wrinkles and jiggles, of course.

Have a lovely day!

A Letter to My Teens

My Dearest Big Kids,

As you enter your teen years, you may find that you are completely irritated with me on a regular basis.  Don't worry.  It's normal and to be expected.  And the feeling will most likely be mutual. 

You will find me to have high expectations for you.  You will most likely believe that I am too strict.  Know that being strict isn't a character flaw of mine with which I was born.  I choose to be this way.  I have prayed, read, discussed, and thought long and hard about my parenting.  I choose to be strict with high expectations of you.   The expectations will not change.

Some day you will realize that you are the only person in your entire grade that has to/doesn't get to do something or other.  Perhaps you will be the only kid in school with chores.  Or the only kid without a phone.  Or the only 15 year old alive who isn't allowed to go to certain types of parties.  When you realize this, there will most likely be some gnashing of teeth.  Yours, not mine.  I will be completely content with my decision.  And just so you know, you really won't be the ONLY one.  I promise.
 
As you know, if you have trouble following the house rules, there are consequences. The severity of the consequences are in direct proportion to your behavior. Regardless of the fact that you choose to ignore the rules and suffer the consequences, you will probably think I am being mean. You may throw a temper tantrum to let me know how unfair you are finding me to be. I'm OK with that. There are six of you. I've been around the temper tantrum block a few hundred times. It will pass.

I do, however, need you to know that the rules and consequences aren't in place because I want you to be unhappy.  They are there because I love you.  The consequences are given from a place of safety and love.  They are there because I know what life is like after you leave our home.  Out in the big, grand world, there are also rules and consequences.  However, the consequences out there aren't made in love.  I want you to learn how to make wise choices on how to behave while you are still in the safety of a loving home.  Better now than when you are out in the world where the consequences are much more severe and painful.

Basically, the next handful of years, when four of you will be in the midst of teenhood at the same time, has the potential to be bumpy.  We will make it through.  There will even be moments (hopefully lots and lots of them) where you actually like me and we can have some fun.

On the other side, when you are grown and have a good job and a spouse and kids of your own, you will thank me.  Preferably weekly and with much flailing and apologizing and sobs of "You were the best mom a kid could ever have." 

With oh so much love, in good times and bad,

Mom

Quote of the Day

You can do nothing but love a person who approaches you and says:

"You gotta believe me when I tell you that these two requests are unrelated.  I am in need of clean underwear and we are out of toilet paper."

Have a lovely day!

For the Love, Mrs. G. Put That Rake Down

Sometimes, helping people isn't easy.

Sometimes, doing good for others hurts.  A lot.

Sometimes, you just don't feel like doing it.

And then you see this:

That alone will motivate even the coldest heart to jump in to do this:

 Two years ago we did not know this woman's name.  We did not know that she lost her husband in 2000.  We did not know that she had two children and six grandchildren.  We did not know that she was a lot like my grandma.

We didn't know that she had the biggest yard with the biggest, fullest trees in Indiana. 

If we knew that last bit, we may not have signed up when our church put out a call for families and groups to help elderly parishioners with their yard work.

Our family was paired with this lovely lady, and I almost cried when I saw her yard. 

This is our third year helping Mrs. G.  And by helping, I mean spending hour upon hour upon hour raking and bagging leaves.  Each year, when the temperatures start to dip, I think of Mrs. G and her leaves.  Each year I think, "Oh my word, I don't want to do that again."  But each year we do.

Did you see that picture?  Did I mention that she's 90?!?!

Honestly, how can you say no to a woman who drags her walker around a tree for half an hour in order to collect a tiny pile of leaves?

A woman who always has ice cream sandwiches or homemade cookies, depending on the weather, waiting for us.  A woman who gushes with gratitude the whole time we are there.  A woman who has volunteered untold hours in her lifetime doing good deeds for others.

We just can't say no.  We're all in.  Till death do us part.

Today, we completed round one of Coop Family vs. Hellish Leaf Pile.

The kids work so hard while we are there.  Even the little guys pitch in and do their part.

 
Of course, all work and no play is frowned upon.  When you have this many leaves staring you in the face, there must be some play time.

For two and a half hours, we raked and bagged leaves.

100 bags actually, give or take a few.

I don't know if you noticed, but in each of these photos, you can see lots of trees with green leaves all over them.

Don't adjust your screen.  The kid in blue isn't mine.  Luckily, Mrs. G lives on a semi-busy street.  A friend from bible study saw us and stopped to help for a while.  Several other friends stopped to say hi and ask what we were doing, (Raking.  Duh.) but those lazy bums just left us there to fend for ourselves.  I guess Mrs. G wasn't out at the time to guilt them into helping.

Those green leaves were taunting us all afternoon.  We could actually hear them whispering, "Go ahead.  Rake those leaves.  You can't win.  When you least expect it, we'll send in another attack.  And you'll be back.  Again and again. Bwahaha."

We'll be waiting.  And watching.  Our rakes are at the ready.

Although, I will need to run out and get a few hundred more leaf bags.

But then we'll be ready.

Have a lovely day!

Tip Thursday

I realize that everyone in blogland does tips on Tuesday.  The alliteration makes the title flow nicely.  Unfortunately, Tuesdays are busy days at the coop with me working and all, so after giving tips to preschoolers all day (things like "Tissues are much better for wiping that snotty nose." and "Underwear really should be worn under jeans that you can't button yourself.") I am in no mood to hand out any more wise counsel.  So Thursday it is. 

Perhaps I could call it "Thankful Thursday", because you will be oh so grateful for the wisdom I am about to lay on you.  How's that for alliteration and cockiness all rolled into one.

Tip #1:

Do not hand an open jar of Nutella to a three year old.  Or anyone of any age for that matter.  It is just too easy to grab a spoon and go to town.

For the record, it was not I, but a big kid, who made this egregious error. 

Tip #2:

When at a soccer game in the freezing cold, do not send a little boy into the bathroom with a big kid alone.  Fishing isn't really the fun it's cracked up to be when the fishing is done in a public toilet.

Oh, the hand-scrubbing that went on afterwards.  When I asked who actually reached in to retrieve the gloves from the peed-in toilet, Giant responded, "Luckily they hadn't gone all the way under yet."
Luckily.

Tip #3:

For those who were looking for some actual wisdom, I have some of that, too.

When your children graduate from the sippy cups (which mine always did by the time they were two years old, as I cannot stand a sippy cup and refused to let my kids use the ones with the stopper things in them) do not use plastic cups.  Buy some large-bottomed juice glasses made of real glass.  I got a cupboard full of them from Goodwill.   People normally shy away from glass, afraid the cups will break when dropped.  Trust me, kids spill plastic cups way, way, way more than they drop cups.  I have six kids, and only 3 glasses have ever been dropped.  Only one has broken in its drop.  Plastic cups, on the other hand, get spilled non-stop.  Way too much milk and patience is wasted on plastic cups. 

Tip #4:

Disregard tip #3 if you have a tiled kitchen floor.  Everything shatters on a tiled kitchen floor. 

And lastly, Tip #5:

When remodeling your kitchen, do not put in a tile floor.

Speaking of remodeling your kitchen, I am in the middle of a mild panic attack.  Tomorrow is the big day that I head to the showroom and choose the materials for the new kitchen/mud room.  Because of a large funeral, our school is getting out an hour early, which means I will have an hour and a half to choose everything.  With only the little boys to "help" me.  

I hope I don't hyperventilate from all of the deep breathing I'll be doing tomorrow.

Have a lovely day!

I'm in the Sisterhood!

I am my dad's favorite child.  It's well known and accepted.  Funniest child is up for debate, as my brother is quite hilarious, but everyone agrees that I am the favorite.  Except my dad.  He would never actually say such a thing out loud. 

I remain the favorite because I have this here blog and because I actually call him on the telephone.

Last week I made my semi-monthly suck-up call, and one of the first things he said was, "I'm glad you called.  No one else ever does."  This was closely followed by, "I read the blog.  It's a little heavy on the recipes."

I had to quickly let him know that while I always have him in mind when writing, he is not the only reader.  I have at least 30 loyal fans that are looking for more than just photos of the kids.  And people actually like a recipe thrown in every once in a while.

People like Dina Marie of The Plucky Procrastinator.  She found me.  She liked me.  She nominated me. 

Dina Marie is one spunky lady.  She's lived through some difficult times, but she didn't let them stop her.  She's now living a Brady Bunch life, minus Alice, and has a wonderful perspective on a variety of things.  I'm touched that she knows who I am, let alone comes to read the blog regularly.  And she very kindly nominated me for the

Thank you!  Thank you!

Oh, no need to stand.   The applause is more than enough.

As with all good awards, I am required to give a speech.  A detailed speech listing 7 things about me.   Picture me standing at a podium, my hair all done up, perfectly poised as I say:

Apparently, with our basic subscription, I am missing out on some good TV.  We don't get the channel (channels?  I have no idea.) that airs Sons of Anarchy or Mad Men.

I love roller coasters, despite the fact that when I was a teenager I had a scary experience of getting stuck on one.  Longish story, but in the end everyone on the ride had to walk down that ginormous first hill that all roller coasters have.

In college I was a member of the Tower Players Improv Troupe.  Through that experience I learned that I am not good at improv.  It was a touch on the frighteningly overwhelming side.   Good improvers are some of the funniest, smartest people in the world, and I clearly wasn't one of them.

I will never ride on a motorcycle, and I will beat the tar out of my children if they ever do.  While living in Bermuda, we weren't allowed to have a car.  For 10 months I drove nothing but a scooter.  The road rash I received after crashing while going a snail-like 10 miles an hour was terrible.  Hubby had to take me to the bathroom and everything.  Terrible.  My children aren't any more graceful than I am, and I don't want to consider the injuries they could sustain going 60mph.

I took baton lessons when I was a kid.  Loved them so much it literally took my mom and two neighbors to shove my kicking, screaming, punching, scratching self into the car when it was time to head to class.  Why in the name of all that is good my mom made me go I have no idea.  Perhaps because my grandma's favorite child was a majorette?  Hmmm...

Peas make me gag.  If I ever come to your house for dinner, please don't serve them.  I would really hate to have to make the choice of which rude behavior to choose; passing on the meal you prepared or eating the peas while gagging and choking, like my kids do when they really want dessert but have to eat their (disgusting) dinners first.  (BTW, I don't make disgusting meals.  Hardly ever.  There was that one time, but mostly meals are very good.  Seriously, there is no reason for my kids to gag, because I never serve peas.)

(This is when I bow and gracefully leave the stage, hopefully without tripping over the train of my dress.)

And now, the part you have all been waiting for.

(Picture Brad and Angelina strutting onto stage.  That's how big of an award this is.)

The nominees for the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award are....

1.  Momopolize - A funny new blogger.  She would appreciate it if you send her some chocolates.  The kind with a map in the lid.

2.  It's a Dome Life - She lives in a dome in the desert.  What's not funny about that?  Her blog button is my favorite one ever. 

3.  Green Girl in Wisconsin - She would love it if you invited her to play paintball.  Oh, and she has a book. 

4.  Delightfully Ludicrous - I have no idea where she finds the random, sometimes disturbing things she does, but they are funny!

5.  Big Happy Nest - She has six kids and raises chickens.  Just like me, only better.

6.  Oh Jones - She doesn't know I'm alive, but she is hysterical. 

7.  Blossoming Joy - She is a devout Christian who keeps me thinking, but my favorite post of hers told how she dealt with a problem her children had with flushing the toilet.  

And the winner is....

Me.  Because I get to read all of these blogs on a daily basis. 

(Was that too cheesy?  You can tell me.  I'm thinking it was.)

And in case Dad made it through this post, token pictures of a couple of my kids.  Gotta keep up that favorite status, you know. 

Handsome devils, aren't they?

Have a lovely day!

Monday Listicles - Compliments

Every Monday, Stasha at The Good Life starts a Monday Listicles link up by giving a prompt.  This week, people are to list 10 compliments.  I thought that today I'd give it a whirl.

I have for you a list of 10 compliments.  Sentences spoken to me by other people who only meant to be kind.  And in return, I am going to totally make fun of them.  It's amazing that people even talk to me anymore.  I'm going to do it David Letterman style. 

10. "The floor is clean!" No need to be surprised, Dear Giant. I do actually get off my rump and do things around here.

9. "Well, that's different." Grandma, you're going to have to come up with a new word. Your entire family knows that when you say it, you really mean, "That is just plain awful."

8. "This doesn't taste too bad." Well, then quit scrunching your nose. And really, unless you can say, "Thank you for making a delicious dinner, Mom" just don't talk.

7.  "Have you lost weight?"  This would have been a very nice thing to say, if it wasn't spoken by someone I hadn't seen in at least a year.  And I didn't happen to be 6 months pregnant when she asked me. 

6.  "We want to be like you in ten years."  Also would have been a nice thing to say, if it were from a high schooler.  Unfortunately, not so.  It was from my "friends" in my bible study.

5.  "You are a better woman than I am."  At first hearing this, I was upset, because I don't like to hear moms put themselves down.  But after hearing this more than once, I realized it is more like the southern phrase, "Bless her heart".  People only say it when I am in the grocery store or some such crazy place with all six kids.  In those situations where one child is pulling things off the shelf, two are in the middle of a bicker-fest, and two are flinging each other around the aisle.  The people that are saying this aren't complimenting me.  They are pitying me.

4.  "Can I see your I.D. young lady?"  said the bouncer-guy at a piano bar.  I know, and you know, that he says that to every single crow's-feeted, gray-haired, saggy-boobed, frazzled mama that comes through that door. 

3.  "You have got some muscular calves!"  While, in fact, I did have muscular calves, I really wish the female high school teacher of questionable orientation didn't point that out when she was walking up the stairs behind my friends and me.  25 years later I still get reminded of those muscular calves by Hubby and other high school friends.

2. "That is perfect on you!" The last time I ever listened to my mother's fashion advice was the day she talked me in to wearing a blinged-out cowboy hat for my wedding.

And the number one compliment I have received....

"I love you more than a Big Mac."  Spoken by Hubby in the middle of his marriage proposal.  In the 7 years we dated, I knew him to eat maybe a handful of Big Macs, so I couldn't say in all certainty that this was, in fact, all that great.  

Have a lovely day!