You say "movement", I say bowel.
Even if you're talking about a prayer movement sweeping the nation, my brain goes straight to poo.
I'm guessing it's because when it comes to poo, I have some experience.
With both human and non.
Unfortunately, it is a part of my life.
A sad, smelly part of my life for over 16 years now.
Today, I'm going to help those of you with less experience. Sometimes, a pootastrophy happens, and you just don't know what to do. I'm hear to help.
Below, you will find scenarios I've lived through, followed by steps on how to best deal with them.
In the middle of a long night of baby crying and spitting up, at 4:00am your baby needs a diaper change. You sleepily un-Velcro the tabs, lift the baby's legs, and hear a pop. Aghast, you watch poo fly. All over the wall. All over the diaper genie. All over the floor.
To do, to do... First and foremost. Cry. Just stand there and cry, because honestly, a poop-covered nursery in the middle of the night deserves it. After the cry, dress the baby, go into your bedroom, wake up your husband, tell him that there is baby poop on the wall, and climb right back into that bed while he takes care of it.
With the spring weather, you are all outside enjoying some fresh air. Unfortunately, someone steps in one of the hundred piles of doggy-do-do that was uncovered when the snow melted.
To do, to do...If the mess is on farm shoes, they are probably covered in chicken and pig poo anyway, so don't even worry about it. Playing in the yard will get most of it off. If a child's school shoes are covered in excrement, scold the child for wearing his school shoes outside, then have him get a stick. He can dig the poo out of the grooves as best he can. Then, use the hose to spray the rest off. Be careful to point the shoes and the water in a way to prevent the poo water from coming back and spraying you in the face. Finally, stuff the shoes with newspaper to facilitate drying.
While doing a puzzle on the floor with your child, he suddenly gets a horrified look on his face and mutters, "I poop-tooted. I tried to toot, but poop got in the way".
Keep the laughter in your head, and when you can finally talk without cracking, reassure the child that it's OK. It happens to most people at least once in their lives. Clean him up, double or triple bag and throw away the messed up underwear, and never speak of it again.
Ok, I'm going to have to pull a Clark and end this post right here. It has taken me 24 hours to get this far, and there ins't much time left for me in the day.
Sorry about that.
The only quick advice I can give is to ask the next question when potty training a child.
When driving home in the car, and your child says he had an accident, ask the next question. Don't assume that by "an accident" he means he wet himself. You really, really don't want to end up with a mess like this:
Have a lovely day!
P.S. I've written about potty training before. It doesn't have anything to do with movements.