I have poison ivy on both cheeks.
And I don't mean the ones on my face.
It's as unpleasant as it sounds.
Relatedly, I am really hoping that no one actually watches the feeds from security cameras inside Meijer at 10:30 at night.
(As a little aside, to that person (if you exist): Now you know why that lady (well, after this I guess we can give up that "lady" business.) in the flowered dress was scratching her behind through half the aisles while her teen took his sweet time deciding which snacks to take on the bus the next morning. Stop laughing and erase the tape. Now.)
Flashback to Monday:
I had running shorts on for no more than 10 minutes.
I went out to the garden to get some weeding done.
There is no poison ivy in the garden.
I knelt down and immediately remembered that kneeling to weed is painful after about 2 minutes.
But while wearing the shorts, I didn't have a choice. (Sometimes when weeding, I will unearth an unhappy bunch of ants. Not red ants, but plain, old, itty bitty ants. Even so, there is no way I want to sit on the ground in running (think short!) shorts and risk having those itty bitty ants all up in my...shorts.)
I went back to the house to put some long pants on, then went back out to the poison ivy-free garden to pull weeds for over an hour.
Two days later, I'm making a daggum fool of myself, sticking my hindquarters towards my poor husband asking him if it looks like poison ivy.
Because it feels like poison ivy.
How in the name of all that is holy did I get poison ivy on my rear end?!?!?*
That's how my week is going.
*For those of you in the peanut gallery, that is a RHETORICAL QUESTION!!
Don't worry. Fun stuff is happening, too. And I have managed to avoid scratching at times when it would mortify the children. (But they know that if they don't behave themselves, scratching can and will be used as a disciplinary tool.)
Have a lovely day!