Wednesday, March 18, 2015

An Answer for When We Get to our First Stop and the Kids Ask, "Mom, Why Did You Pack Chicken Food in the Cooler?"

So, I was at one of the Kardashian mansions the other night.

No one was home but me. I had to use the restroom, and as I pulled my jeans down (but not my underwear) the family came home. The mom (Kris) very rudely opened the bathroom door without knocking, surprising us both. She immediately closed it again, but unfortunately it was one of those half doors. Only the bottom part closed. The top remained open as the whole family marched down the hall, past the bathroom in which I stood, laughing their full heads off.

Apparently, I have spent way, way too many hours in the checkout line at Meijer, because all of their faces on the "magazines" have gotten to me. It's the only defense I have, because, honestly, WHO IN HER RIGHT MIND HAS A DREAM LIKE THAT?!?!?!

Seriously, though, the dream is, in fact, part of a conspiracy put together by my children, reality celebrities (apparently), and the government (because what's a conspiracy without the government?) to keep me sleep deprived.

I was already getting to bed late, seeing as how the high school play was this past week, and my high schoolers have lots of friends in the play and wanted to go to all three showings of the THREE-HOUR LONG play that ended at 10:00pm each night.

Cuckoo might have been the ringleader of the conspiracy. He has been quite creative in his pleas for help this week. One night, at approximately 3:17:44, he called from outside his door. When I got to him, he wanted me to know that his thumbnail hurt.

And then another night I had another odd dream.

I don't remember all of it, but I do remember that Bryan and I had a big fight. He really wanted Star to be able to play another sport this spring, on top of the other activities already going on around here. I was adamant that no such thing was going to happen while I was the mother in the house. I ended up crying, because we never, ever yell at each other.

I woke up to Bryan holding me and whispering in my ear that it was just a dream.

Seems I was actually crying out loud, too.

Guess why else Cuckoo woke me up this week.

Go ahead.

Guess.

(I hate that game, so I won't do what my kids always do to me and actually make you guess.)

I was awakened at 2:04:58 one night by Cuckoo, who believed that his brother was breathing too loudly. (Who, in reality, was breathing quite normally and quietly, thank you very much. (I checked))

The point to this post?

Go back and read the title.

I've gotta get ready for a road trip!

Have a lovely day!

22 comments:

  1. I have a blogging buddy in Washington state that has weird dreams like you had. I'm still stuck on why a bathroom door would have a half door. What in God's green earth would you need a half door on the bathroom? Oh wait, so everyone can go by and laugh at you.

    Sounds like Cuckoo was having a bad dream about his brother breathing too loud.

    You better get ready for your road trip.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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    1. Ha! When we bought our house, our bathroom had no door and carpet on the floor. The half door wasn't as horrifying to me. :)

      Ya never know with Cuckoo.

      No joke. I've purchased the food and found enough long pants for the boys. Still have lots and lots to do.

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  2. I love dreams, mine and others. The weirder the better. Yours were GREAT! The Kardashians watching you pee?!?!?! I used have fabulously weird dreams, but I think I sleep too hard now to remember them. Or I've gotten out of the habit. Still sleepwalk and sleeptalk, though. Brian gets such an enormous kick out of it.
    Can't wait to hear about the trip!!!!

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    1. Oh, I have had some seriously odd ones over the years. We'll have to compare dreams when we meet someday!

      You sleepwalk? And talk? My Bryan used to do that, too. He even told jokes. Annoyed me to no end, though I laughed plenty the next day when I told him about it.

      Me either! :)

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  3. Wait, the one with you and Bryan fighting wasn't great. The Kardashian one was the great one.

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  4. So, what did the Kardashian bathroom look like? I'm sure the toilet was quite literally a throne.

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    1. I just remember a lot of white tile. I was a bit too embarrassed to notice the details. :)

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  5. Do you hold dream grudges? I do -- I've dreamt that my wife was being rotten to me and then held a grudge against her all the next day - much to her bemusement

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    1. Hahaha!! Do I ever!
      I have gotten up in the morning absolutely furious with Bryan. It is always because I caught him cheating on me, and he was very nonchalant about the whole thing (in my dream). It always takes me at least half a day to stop being angry with him. He just apologizes and goes to work. :)

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  6. Hmmmmmm....
    I guess I shouldn't mention Freud and the interpretation of dreams here?
    You did a headcount right? No chickens?

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  7. Have a happy road trip. Seems like a time for nightmares and weird dreams!

    SEE YOU ON INSTAGRAM!

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  8. you want to know how intriguing your Post (or the opening paragraphs) was? well? (no, I hate that game too)... it was so intriguing I scrolled down (without reading) to the bottom, looking for some kind of hint....(ala our Miz Roger's "Work of Fiction" that she used to do to great effect) then I got to the 'and then I woke up!'.

    road trip? I recall reading about a trip but is it a random, point-at-a-map-and-go (that is so cool) or a planned trip?

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  9. I love dreams...the weirder the better - and I have had some doozies lately - Once I dreamed that we were hanging out - you were visiting with your family - so much fun.

    have a wonderful road trip. :)

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  10. And you thought my dreams were strange!

    Have a great trip. If you do pack chicken food, don't forget the chickens! :-)

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  11. I have off-the-wall realistic dreams as well sometimes, and I wake up panicked and crazy and relieved they are not true. It's the serotonin (a good thing, right?) A road trip with the family will fix everything.

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  12. I have a lot of crazy dreams too! I wish there was some way to play back your dreams in the morning, like on a video, so you can try to make sense of them! I often have a totally cliche dream where I am in some sort of situation around other people (like at work, for instance) and I suddenly realize I'm not wearing any pants! Sometimes not even underwear! And I just go about my business, trying to pull my shirt down and hoping nobody notices.

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  13. Dreams are strange and wonderful. I often have ones that end up happening...or do they? Maybe I dream that. I definitely talk in my sleep - at least that's what my Husband says. And apparently the conversations are WEIRD.
    Have a great trip!

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  14. Ugh, dreams. We have been having a load of weird ones around here ourselves! The reason for packing chicken food in the cooler is quite clear. It is an easy meal, relatively well-balanced. Just pour in some milk and mix. The kids will never know the difference. Haha!

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  15. Hahahahaha! You always make me laugh. Breathing too loud is quite offensive, you know. It's punishable by death in some countries. Or at least my children think it should be. Due to our move, our 4 youngest are now sharing a room. (The room is freakishly large.) But as a result, I get to hear almost nightly about the offensive things the other children are doing to prevent sleep after I tuck them in. I'm just waiting for the middle of the night wakening due to some offensive behavior!

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Thank you for taking the time to tell me what you're thinking!