Our house was built right at the end of the Civil War.
In 1866, they had no idea what the future held, so plumbing and electricity and wi-fi were not part of the plans. Our house, while beautiful, has needed lots and lots and lots of work. There's still plenty to do. One day we'll have a garage in order to prevent the dogs from going after the opossums that like to hide under the car. We'll finish the job the little boys have started and tear ALL the wallpaper down in order to paint. We'll (maybe) have a closet in our bedroom.
But even if I never get any of those things, I'll still love our house and property.
When I read that the theme for this week's Tuesday's 10 is Things We Would Include in Our Ultimate Dream Home, the only thing I could think of was "pick our house and property up and plop it down next door to school". The commute is wearing me out.
And then I thought, "But this is supposed to be my ULTIMATE dream home"!
1. I want lights that automatically turn on when someone enters a room and turns off when the person leaves. Sure, I might short it out when I get stuck in one of my enter-a-room-forget-why-I-was-there-exit-the-room-remember-and-return-only-to-forget-again cycles, but it would be worth the call to the service man if it means I don't have to turn lights off all around the house all day long.
2. I want a force field surrounding every single fragile (I'd appreciate it if you pronounce that fra-gee-lay.) thing in my house. How wonderful would my life be if I didn't have to worry about basketballs, soccer balls, bouncy balls, fuseball balls, and boys'...feet crashing through a window?!?!
3. I want each bathroom to have a door that automatically locks when a child enters the facilities. The door would not unlock to release the child until said child actually flushes the toilet, washes his hands the appropriate length of time and with the appropriate amount of soap, and hangs the hand towel back on the towel bar.
4. I want a slide. It would be so much more pleasant for both the kids and me to go "Weeeeee" as we slide down a slide than "OWOWOWOWOW!!" as we slip and bounce down those hard, wooden stairs.
5. I want a super, jet-engine fan like they have at the end of drive-through car washes in all entrances to our house. Unlike at the car wash, where the fans dry the cars, our fans would blow off every bit of mud, dirt, bug, twig, poop, and general nastiness from the children. In an emergency, like running late for church, it could also work to rid the children of milk mustaches, syrup drips, and peanut butter clumped in the hair.
6. I want a library book tracker that will locate any and all library books checked out in my children's names on the day that I decide to take the books back to the library. It needs to have an unlimited range for those instances in which a book was left under a bed at Grandma's house in Ohio.
7. I want sensors in every room that detects when a child is about to leave the room before cleaning up his/her mess. The sensor would send out a swarm of mechanical gnats to annoy and nip at the child until the child gets back in the room to sets things to rights.
8. I want a toy magnet. I could stand in a room, holding the magnet, and every single missing puzzle piece, game piece, marble, playing card, and Lego (aka foot-impaler-in-waiting) would jump from its hiding place and fly to the magnet.
9. I want an x-ray machine that can scan the many totes stacked in the basement and tell me which tote has clothing that will actually fit the child I have standing with me, thus avoiding said child having to don 100 articles of clothing in order to find the 10 that fit him each and every stinking season.
10. I want a heated walkway and driveway like the car washes have. I'm afraid this winter is going to be as bad as the last one, and I really, really would like to avoid shoveling the walkway 7 times a day. I would also like to skip the inevitable get Bryan and other men who can't drive in snow unstuck from the driveway.
OK, so that may not have been what the ladies who host this link-up were thinking when they came up with the prompt, but that's where my brain went. Feel free to head over to their sites to see what other people dream about.
What would you have in your dream house?
Have a lovely day!