Words of Wisdom

1.  When having to split a salami sandwich while on a picnic, just take it all apart and completely reassemble it as two individual half sandwiches.  Salami doesn't tear well.

2.  If you want your kids to be as healthy as possible, feed them healthy foods, get them outside to play, and let them eat dirt. 




It seems playing outside, visiting pigs, and then putting your hand in your mouth is good for your immunity system.  It's true, my kids rarely get sick, but don't just take my word for it.  ABC thinks so, too.

(I shall pause for my germaphobe readers (and you (and I) know who you are) to vomit in their mouths and obsessively wash their hands.)

3.  When a basketball goes flying and crashes through everything on your dresser, do not ask Dad to fix any of it.  You'll end up with something like this:

What do you get when you cross a Pacer's bobble head and a statue of St. Joseph?
I'm pretty sure it's called Sacrilege.

4.  When starting a blog, think long and hard about the name.  Don't limit yourself to concerns of interest and creativity.  Number one, make sure it isn't a pain in the blankety-blank to write over and over again.  For instance, a-fly-on-our-chicken-coop-wall.blogspot.com. is about the stupidest URL in the known world (wide web).  Oh, the dashes!  Why did I have to add dashes????

5.  While your children may enjoy it, and you will for a bit, do not go out to lunch with your child's teacher.  He may feel too comfortable with her and do something horribly embarrassing, like reach up and poke each of said teacher's three wrinkle chins and say, "Does this hurt?" while all you can do is watch and cringe from across the table.

Hard-earned wisdom.  Learn from it.

Have a lovely day!