Quick Takes

Jen from Conversion Diary, barely out of the hospital from a double pulmonary embolism, has managed to put some quick takes together.  Surely I can.

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So my last post was all about how I won't live in fear, nor will I let my kids. 

Apparently, we have reason to be scared of things much closer to home.

Cuckoo was sitting on my lap as I read him a story.  When I turned the page, I poked him in the eye.  with the page of the book.  He immediately started screaming and crying.  Tears streaming down his face, unable to open his eye, he managed to yell, "I don't want you to read that book NEVER!"  and "You hurt me!  I don't want you to hurt me NEVER!"

It went on for a good long time, to the point I was beginning to worry that I actually gave him a paper cut on his eyeball. 

Ouch.

After about ten minutes, I was able to distract him.

He calmed down when I offered to finish reading the same book.

He agreed after a few, "Don't hold the book so close"s.  And with each page turn an, "I don't want you to hurt me NEVER!"

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Another important PSA:  A store that has the AT&T logo on it probably isn't an actual AT&T store.  We found out the hard way when buying Phoenix his Christmas present phone.  Look for the tiny print on the storefront.  If it says "authorized provider" walk away.  Go to a store where the employees are wearing blue sweaters.

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Really, if you can, avoid AT&T stores, too.  They are starting to really annoy me.  Again.

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After our latest 40 minute debacle in AT&T with Cuckoo and Turken at my side, I told the boys that since they were so good in the store, they could play on the mall's merry-go-round and other mechanical riding things.    I have never, ever put money in these things, as it costs $1 for one ride.  The kids have always been quite content to sit on them and push buttons.

Until two kids jumped in the fire truck and their mother PUT MONEY IN THE MACHINE! 

Cuckoo's and Turken's heads snapped up in unison the second the music started playing.  Both of their faces said, "They move?!?!?!?"  They were in such shock that they didn't do anything but stare. 

Until the fire truck stopped its gyrating and the girls hopped on the school bus and their mother put MONEY IN THAT MACHINE, TOO!!! 

That's when it got ugly. 

The boys snapped out of their shock and started bombarding me with questions.  "Can we make it go?"  "Why doesn't ours move?"  "Why don't our buttons make sounds?"  Before I could answer, as I was about to suggest they go back to the nice, quiet merry-go-round, the girls moved to the ambulance, and their mother, of course put money in, at the exact same time that some grandparents put their precious on the merry-go-round and put money in that machine.

The boys' heads started spinning, torn between the flashy machines and giving me the stink eye.

What could I do?

Nothing but snatch the boys up and drag them out.   

And curse those money-wasteing, over-indulging, ruiners of our good, cheap fun.

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Discussion with Turken yesterday:

Turken:  When Phoenix is the dad, who will be the mom?

Me:  I don't know.  Any ideas?

T:  You.

M:  Won't be me.  It will be someone more his age.

T:  Will he be my dad and she be my mom?

M:  No.  I will always be your mom and Dad will always be your dad.

T:  You'll be alive?

Seems even he knows I'm old.

It went on and on, through questions of where everyone will live, if we will see each other every day, how many kids everyone will have, who will cook, and more.

I didn't think Cuckoo was listening until he asked two questions.  The only two things he wanted to know about being an adult were:

1.  Will I get snacks?

2.  Will I have a wallet?

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Kate at Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine, has started a new link-up called Finish the Sentence Friday.  The sentence for the week is

One of the most embarrassing things I ever did was...

I was going to do this link-up this week.  But after wracking my brain for days on end, I realized that I do not get embarrassed.

You'd think that I would be embarrassed after I left our son at home by mistake. Twice. but I wasn't.

Perhaps the time I rode a pig backwards when I was supposed to be helping the farmers load them onto the truck.  I wasn't.

Or when I got my rear end on the big screen at a Colt's game.  Nope.

Even in high school when, during my individual basketball test in gym class in front of the entire class, I did a major trip and fall and slide, I couldn't do anything but laugh.  Not embarrassed in the slightest.

There was one time that I was embarrassed for a second.  A woman yelled at me to sit down at a Purdue football game because she had "a cripple back here trying to see!"  I was embarrassed at first, thinking I had broken some football spectator protocol, but then realized, "Did she just say she has a cripple with her?"  Poor cripple.  She's not exactly the best spokesperson.

I once avoided major embarrassment when at a wedding I went to the bathroom and came out of the stall with my dress caught all up in my hose.  Thank the Lord above a little girl was in the bathroom, too, and was brave enough to tell me about it. 

So, since I don't get embarrassed, I couldn't exactly tell of the time I was most embarrassed.  I can't link up.  But I have read a bunch of other people's stories.  Some funny, funny stuff out there. 

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Had the takes, but not the quick.  So sorry.

Have a lovely day!