Heavens to Betsy

Heavens. to. Betsy.

Why, you may or probably won't ask, do I keep saying that?

I'll tell you why (anyway).

"Heavens to Betsy...

...this is not a house in which a person should have to endure a broken bone."  The kids keep stomping on Hubby's still swollen, black, and blue foot.  When they are in bed and he and I are relaxing on the couch and the foot is propped up on a pillow, I continuously bump him with my elbow as I type.

...there is a reason I did not become a nurse!"  We've seen this in my less than stellar care of Hubby and his foot.  I proved it after Giant had a nose-to-head collision with an opposing player during their basketball game on Friday night.  He seems to have broken his nose.  (no blood, bit of swelling, but it looks flatter than it used to be)  This morning when I asked if it still hurt, he said, "Only when I touch it or scrunch it up."  My response, "Well, then don't touch it or scrunch it up." 

Moving on.

...will somebody, anybody, please get Taylor Swift out of my head?"  The next person who sings her song (yes, I'm talking to you dear Hubby) will be in serous trouble, trouble, trouble.

...we have finally moved into the 21st century!"  Wireless and unlimited data have entered the coop!  And I haven't seen the whites of the boys' eyes since it was installed yesterday.  Limits begin Monday night.

...Phoenix's feet better keep growing!"  I was told by a lovely friend that Dick's had a huge table of cleats on super clearance.  I headed right on over.  There was one, and only one, pair of cleats that I thought might fit Phoenix.  A size 14.  They were normally $220, and I could get them for $55.  I bought them with one hand and crossed my fingers with the other.  He tried them on tonight, and they are half a size too big.  After all of the money I've plunked down buying bigger and bigger shoes for that boy, his feet darn well have the decency to grow another half an inch so he can wear these at some point. 

...boys' hair grows too stinkin' fast!"   Turken's double crown is forever sticking up, but I find it hilarious and don't see the need to cut it.  Giant's hair is hanging in his eyes, but he likes it that way, so I'm not in a hurry to cut it.  Cuckoo has been constantly brushing the hair off his forehead and telling me, "I need a haircut."  It may be time.

...Hubby is no longer allowed to put conditions on games!"  The kids got a new game for Christmas (Ticket to Ride), and it's a good one.  We all sat down to play it, then Hubby said, "Whoever wins gets to sit and relax.  Whoever gets second cleans the basement for 5 minutes.  Third gets 10 minutes of cleaning, and last gets 15 minutes."  I lost.  Everyone has done their time.  I have had better things to do, and have really just ignored it, hoping everyone would forget about it.  (I do enough cleaning around here, for crying out loud!)  Unfortunately, we have one child who must be part elephant.  Every single night, as I close the door and wish the little boys goodnight, I hear the usual from Turken, "Good-bye!  Sleep well!  Don't talk!  Don't get out of bed!"  (Yes, he tells us these things every night.  Like I would want to talk or get out of bed.)  Now, though, he adds a quick, "Don't forget to clean the basement for 15 minutes!"  It was funny the first time.

...who had the bright idea of building an indoor soccer field at our club?"  Soccer used to run for two clear and cut seasons.  Now that we have an indoor facility, not so much.  Soccer practice starts tomorrow.  Yeah.  January 21.  And I highly doubt Phoenix's feet will grow half an inch by then.

...it is COLD in this house!"  We had a couple of warmer (40s) sunny days, but the wind started to howl yesterday.  I like the sound of howling wind, but I don't like the feel of it.  Howling wind finds every single crack in every single 150 year old window in the house.  Howling wind means I freeze my tail off.

...what the heck is wrong with Phoenix???"  Four times in the last 4 days, his left middle finger has gone completely white.  Like no circulation is getting to his finger.  During such episodes, he says it feels numb.  Each episode lasts about 15 minutes.  Weird.  I thought it may be because he was cold, but it has never happened in our house.

...what is it with the snorting?"  When Giant was little, he had ticks.  For a month or so, he did this blinking thing all day long.  Then he moved to clearing his throat.  Each month or so, there was something different.  Eventually, they went away.  Turken has now begun some ticking.  He keeps snorting.  It's just a bit on this side of annoying.  Although, now that I think about it, his other tick is patting his ears.  Huh. 

...how bad of a mom will our doctor think I am when I make an appointment for a child who may have broken his nose four days ago, a child who has lost circulation for no clear reason four times, and a child who may have been living with a double ear infection for over a week?"  And then show up with a bunch of ragamuffins who can't see through all of the hair in their faces?  Probably should make that appointment before Phoenix tears a tendon in his knee from wearing shoes that are too big for him.  Otherwise, I will be in serious trouble, trouble, trouble.

Shame on me.

Have a lovely day!