Monday, January 7, 2013

Monday Listicles - Basically, I Resolve to Remain Lazy and Annoying

With all of the resolutions people are making for the new year, I find it hilarious that our Monday Listicles topic is 10 Things I Have No Intention of Changing.   I'm in!

I will not be changing:

1. my habit of wearing my pajamas and only my pajamas every moment that I am at home.   Don't worry, that's where it will end.  I fully intend to wear clothes every time I leave the house.

2. my inclination to ignore the laundry couch.  I will do laundry all the live-long day.  And then dump the clean clothes onto the couch, where they will stay until I (or more likely the kids are forced to) fold and distribute them to their rightful owners.  It works for me, and thus I will not fold each load as it comes out of the dryer.

3.  my expectations I have for the kids to perfectly clean their rooms, make their beds and put away every single thing they touch throughout the day.  And I fully expect that they have no intention of doing such things.

4.  my perfect eyesight.  People keep telling me that their vision was fine until they hit their 40s.  I will not be buying 20 pairs of eighty-cent, colorful-to-make-them-look-cool reading glasses to leave all over the house, in my purse, in my pocket, and on top of my head. 

5.  my teeth count.  Completely random, but I have no intention of getting any teeth pulled.  I won't even say things that allude to it, like "I'd rather have a tooth pulled than ..."

6.  the love for my kitchen and mud room.  Come on, it's been at least a week since I've mentioned it.  And I just ordered the counter stools yesterday, so we're almost done.  I've lost one follower, probably because of my kitchen gushing, but I'm going to risk the loss of more and have one more kitchen post as soon as the stools get here.  (And if you make one joke like Hubby has been doing non-stop for the last 2 days, asking if I ordered a "stool sample" and other such nonsense, I cannot be your friend anymore.  One immature adult is all I can handle at the moment.)

7.  my apparently loud laugh.  I always knew I was an all-in laugher.  I like to laugh, and I do so heartily.  However, I didn't know how loud it was until the kids let me know that while they don't hear the horrible yelling many of the parents do on the sidelines, they can always hear my laughter.  Basically, they were accusing me of never watching the game, but instead talking and laughing with other parents, as they could hear me from the far side of the (very large) soccer field.  I told them the reason they can hear me is they love me so much and are in tune with my moods so fully, that they can hear me even when I whisper.  They didn't buy it, but I don't care.  I'm going to laugh my full head off, even louder than before, just to show them how bad it could be for them.

8.  my exercise regimen.  I don't have one, and I don't foresee that changing anytime soon.

9.  my hugging and kissing of the children.  When they are little like Cuckoo and Turken, the hugging and the cuddling and the kissing are normally welcomed by the children.  As they get older, they find the hugging and kissing to be less good and more torture.  Unfortunately for the teens, it is so much fun to love on them for the embarrassment factor alone.  Buttercup tried to avoid the "peace" kiss at mass yesterday.  This morning, I showed her what would happen the next time she tried to do that.  I don't foresee it being a problem again.   Some may say it is cruel to force public lovin' on a teen.  I say it is payback for every single public tantrum, fight, and other embarrassing misbehavior they pulled in their past lives as toddlers. 

10.  my rule on Buttercup never baking by herself again.  I was so proud of myself, letting her bake some cookies in my spotless new kitchen (oops, I mentioned it again.  Sorry.) knowing full well that she is, bar none, the messiest baker this side of the sun.  I didn't even hover over her, giving her tips on how to keep things tidy.  When she finished, and I entered the kitchen, I didn't even lose my composure when I found cookie batter splattered on the floor, cupboards, stove top, and the top of the stove VENT.  I even gave here another chance yesterday when a friend was over.  This morning I found a whole bunch of cookie batter crumbs INSIDE the drawer of spatulas and such.  So she is done.  Forever.

What, pray tell, are you resolving to remain unchanged in 2013?

Have a lovely day!

33 comments:

  1. Thank Gawd for that last sentence in #3 because I thought I was going to have to seriously reevaluate my parenting skills.

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    1. Ha! Why can't their expectations ever match mine?

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  2. Boy do I love you! You had me just based on the hilarious title of this post! I am SO with you on the first two, by the way, the tooth pulling one had me laughing, and I bet I would *love* your loud laugh. I am pretty sure I am a loud laughter, too. :)

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    1. I love being loved. :) Move to Indy. There aren't enough of us loud laughers around here. I only know of one other, and her's is REALLY loud.

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  3. You had me at number one. Pajamas and sweatpants are my standard uniform inside the house. They are on within 30 minutes of my walking back through the door!

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    1. They're just so warm and cozy, aren't they?

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  4. All sounds like very persuasive reasons not to change. I like it :) But let Buttercup bake - I used to love baking (admittedly, somehow my parents wrangled it so this happened at my Grandama's house and she got the mess) but it was a really special time and I loved showing off whatever I'd created (even if all my parents could probably see was lumpy biscuits or soggy cakes or something). I still love cooking, mostly thanks to my Grandma, I think, who encouraged me. If she's old enough to cook on her own, she must be old enough to tidy by herself :)

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    1. What wonderful memories of your grandma. And such smart parents you have!
      My dear mess maker will most certainly be allowed to bake, but only with proper supervision. I found these batter spots AFTER she tidied up. I about died laughing when I walked throught the kitchen at one point. She had been transferring one cup of flour from the flour canister to the bowl. Somehow, she missed. When I walked into the room, she was using her hand to push the flour into the bowl she had over the side of the counter. She actually looked at me and said, "I'm trying to be neat. I'm cleaning it up without getting any on the floor." She said this as she stood in a pile of flour on the floor.
      We'll just be having mother/daughter baking times now.

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    2. Sounds awesome. Bless her for trying, ey!

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  5. Oh MAN how I love your list! Girl, you and I MUST be sistas! Lol!

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    1. Glad you like it! And I'm thinking we really could be.

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  6. My love for your blog will not change in 2013! I love that you laugh like I do. I have actually had people here at work complain about how loud I laugh. Of course, they have all been here 50 years and have forgotten what it is like to have fun! Love your list!

    Julia

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    1. You are so sweet.
      Tell those old foagies (I have no idea how to spell that word.) to turn down their hearing aids if they don't like your laugh. :)

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  7. Stool sample...I will not laugh. I will not laugh. This is one of my favourite blogs and I don't want to be banned. I will not laugh.

    OK, now that I've gotten that under control, I will say I love hearing about your kitchen! You paid your dues to get it and I love seeing its sparkly goodness.

    I also wear pajamas aka house clothes while I'm in the house. This is why I hate people dropping in unannounced. We just pretend we're not home.

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    1. You are so stinkin' immature! :) It's OK. I secretly enjoy immature.
      A relief to know that not everyone is tired of the kitchen updates.
      Oh, that bugs me, too, unless it is a close friend. I wish we could pretend we aren't home. When the little kids run up to and plaster their faces upon the all-glass front door...

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  8. Shoosh! Wouldn't it be nice if the kids picked up after themselves? (I say as I sit typing and eyeballing the open cracker box, the half glass of milk sitting on the table, the sock behind the curtain, the Lego and book on steps three and five and the eraser under the chair. Oh! And I'm the only one home. Everyone burned out an hour ago)

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    1. I may actually offer to pull a tooth if it meant my kids would just pick their crap up.

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  9. I had a rare dare where I washed and folded all the clothes RIGHT out of the dryer. There's only three of us, so you might be thinking what's the big deal. LOL!

    #4 I'm a witness. Another I've noticed is the blurriness is hormonal/monthly. LOL to #8 - love it and I wish I could say it.

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    1. I would never poo-poo the laundry habits of another, regardless of the number of children. Laundry is tedious no matter how much you have.
      As for the exercise, I should change, but it ain't gonna happen this year.

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  10. You kill me, still chuckling over the stool sample. Can't wait to see the new kitchen, that is always worth gushing about. If only I could banish my messy cook. How does some one who is 5'6" get tomato sauce on the 9' ceiling? Hope you get lots to laugh out loud about in 2013

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    1. To be honest, I did chuckle the first time he said it. It loses its charm the 4th or 5th time.
      Oh, someone else excited about the kitchen. Yeah! I like to just simply stand in it and smile.
      Ha! Sometimes I wonder if she dances while she cooks, spatula in hand, flailing and spinning her way to making me crazy with the mess.
      I'm looking forward to lots of loud laughter.
      Thanks for stopping by!

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  11. This cracked me up. FYI...Costco sells some really comfy "lounge pants". Picked up a two pack just after Christmas. You're welcome.

    Oh yea...let me know how long your eyesight keeps working for ya. I'm one of those "20 pairs of eighty-cent, colorful-to-make-them-look-cool reading glasses to leave all over the house, in my purse, in my pocket, and on top of my head" kinda people. Haaahaaa!

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    1. Thank you. If only Costco wasn't an hour drive away...

      Ha! I'm sure sometime in the not too distant future I will find first hand the reason for so many pairs of glasses.

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  12. #4 and #5 made me laugh. #4 because I used to be just like you--until I no longer enjoyed reading as much as I used to. Now I shamelessly constantly keep a pair of glasses on my head. The only time I'm embarrassed about it is when I have TWO pairs on--one over my eyes, and another, forgotten pair on the top of my head. I'm really not THAT old!

    #5 hit home because, after being cavity-free my entire life, I've developed a terrible, off-and-on toothache over the past day. This morning, I told John that because I still have my wisdom teeth, I really wouldn't mind if the dentist just pulled the offending molar--I'd still have just as many teeth as most people do. I'm not sure I'm serious about not caring, though. I think it was just the pain talking.

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    1. Ha! I can just picture you walking around with two pairs. I'm sure the kids don't make fun of you at all. :)
      Oh, toothaches are terrible, but teeth pulling is worse. When I was in 4th grade, I had 8 pulled, 4 baby and 4 adult. I'm already down four, so I can't afford to lose any more!
      Hope you figure it out and feel better soon.

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  13. This was great and so many of your resolutions-not-to-change resonated with me. We have a laundry dining room table. I get annoyed early in the morning because I have to change out of my p.j.s to walk the dog. And I'm very jealous of your kitchen remodel. We desperately need one but don't think it's going to happen anytime soon.

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    1. So much in common we have! Our kitchen had gotten to and then past desperate. We had plumbers say, "Just get a new kitchen. Your plumbing just needs to be taken out." It took us almost 8 years, but it finally happened.

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  14. So far I have no plans to change my work status (unemployed), my hair, my reading list or the amount of time I spend watching TV.

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    1. I was about to say work status, but then I remembered that I work on Tuesday mornings. That will end at the end of the school year. :)
      I almost put my hair, too. After the super-short cut, I won't need a haircut this year.

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  15. I have kitchen envy but I won't walk away. I'll just be really happy for you, Erin

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    1. Thanks. I don't have that many readers. The loss of one makes me cry. I don't cry too hard, though, as I can't even figure out who it was. :) You are welcome to use my kitchen anytime.

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  16. If I had a fancy new kitchen I would make all ten resolutions around it. Yeay for #8!

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    1. Oh, as soon as it's completely done, there will be one serious post about the kitchen.

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Thank you for taking the time to tell me what you're thinking!