What Do the Contents of Your Bathroom Cabinet Say about You?

Let's play a game.

A stranger has to put a bio together about you, but the only clues he has to work with are the contents of your bathroom cabinet.  What would he have to say about you?

According to my bathroom cabinet, I am a new mother with lots of facial hair.  I am a vain woman, concerned about the appearance of my curly hair and the color of my lips.  I have ridiculously dry skin and eat lots of salad and broccoli. I hate to wear shoes, and choose to go barefoot as often as possible.  I travel.  A lot.  I am concerned about running out of soap, but not toilet paper.  I get bad cramps.

I can explain the 2 curling irons, a straightener, hair dryer, and 8 bottles/cans of hair product.  I have crazy curly hair and a penchant for getting mullets.

I can explain the 28 itty bitty bottles of shampoo and conditioner and 11 itty bitty bars of soap.  COW is stingy, making sure to abscond with the items every time he stays in a hotel, yet not stingy enough to actually use the items he insists on taking once we are home.

I can explain the 10 toothbrushes and 15 dental floss samples.  I always keep toothbrushes on hand for kids who spontaneously spend the night, and all 8 of us have recently been to the dentist.  Our dentist gives out lots of samples, and we keep them to take with us on trips.

I can explain the many bottles of lotion and foot products.  I'm a teacher.  Lotion is a common gift for teachers, (My candles are kept somewhere else.) but I have only one brand of lotion that works for me.  The gifts never get used.

I can explain the lipsticks and lip glosses.  Ok, some of them.  Some of them looked good when I saw them at the store, but not on my lips once I got home.  I can't explain the empty lip gloss containers.

I certainly can't explain the nursing pads and 2 squirt bottles for postpartum "cleansing".  And on a related note, how long is a woman considered "postpartum"?  Four years?

There is a rice bag thing that someone once made for me (mumble mumble years ago) that has never been used.

There is a home-wax kit (for all those annoying chin hairs that have started popping up) that I've purchased but haven't used.  There isn't a microwave in my bathroom and there's no privacy downstairs. Imagine the questions I'd have to dodge from Cuckoo and Turken if they saw me screaming and crying in pain after putting wax from the microwave on my face, then violently ripping it off.

There are nine bars of soap, because I buy in bulk.  They will last forever, because some of my kids seem to forget to actually wash with soap.

I wish I could say my dresser would be a better place to look for clues about me.  Alas, it's not.  According to my sock drawer, I work in an office which requires hose.  Blue is my suit color of choice, going by the number of pairs of blue hose I have.

Last night COW asked if I was pregnant.  Red flags were going off, thinking I was nesting, since each day he has come home from work to find a themed bag of trash waiting to go out.

No, Dear.  I'm not nesting.  I'm just tired of being surrounded by clutter and stuff we no longer need.

Each day, I choose one thing to conquer.  The first thing I did was clean off my dresser.  It had become the "Place to Drop All Things I Don't Feel Like Putting Away Right Now" as well as the "Leave Mom a Funny Note in the Dust" spot.  No more!  It is clean and shiny and tidy.

My wallet was next.  Eight appointment reminder cards were in there, all having to do with someone's teeth.  So was a paper with the phone numbers COW was to call when I went into the hospital to give birth to Cuckoo.  Two expired insurance cards and 15 expired coupons from Dick's Sporting Goods were removed.  Oh, and 1 Borders card, since Borders closed about 3 years ago.

Today, I'm thinking I will conquer the linen closet.  And then put a lock on it, so kids can't get in and mess it up.

Little bits of time conquering little areas of clutter.

Thank you, LIsa, for the idea.  It's working like a charm.

Do you have hidden (or not-so-hidden) spots of clutter that could use a cleaning out?  What might someone find there, and what is your story of how it got there?

Have a lovely day!