Monday, October 14, 2013

Death By Chicken Feed

Clearly, this farm is not safe for animals.

Death by drowning, death by dog bite, death by coyote attack, death by illness, death by butcher. 

So many deaths.

And yet, we have a new one to add to the list.

The calendar of events:

Thursday

I went out to feed the chickens.  We keep the 50 pound bags of food in metal, lidded trash cans.  I used the last of the first bag, so opened the lid to the next can to get more.  I was greeted by hundreds of maggots all over the outside of the bag and an awful smell emanating from it.  Clearly, something horrible had gone down in that trash can.  I was not in the mood to find out what that horrible thing was, so I put the lid back on the can. 

Saturday

COW cleaned out the feed bag mess and discovered the root of the problem.  The puzzle pieces fell into place.

The previous Monday

Monday night COW took the extra bag of chicken feed out to the coop at 8:30.  With the sun going down so early, that meant he did this chore in the dark.

All he had was a flashlight and a 50 pound bag of feed.

He simply dropped the bag of feed into the already opened can, then put the lid on it.

Saturday, again

When he took the maggot-covered bag of food out of the can, he discovered a dead OPOSSUM in the bottom.

Poor, little, horribly ugly marsupial.

On Monday night, he was simply minding his business, eating up the spilled chicken food in the bottom of the can, when out of nowhere, a 50 pound bag of feed dropped on his head. 

I feel an acrostic coming on.

Out for a stroll, searching for food, I was
Presented with a conundrum.  It was a can.  An
Open can with food lying in the bottom.  I
Searched the area, looked for the trap. 
Seeing nothing, I chose to go in, as I was
Unusually hungry.  The feed was delicious, and I
Made short work of  BAM!

The End.

RIP Mr. Opossum.  R.I.P.

Have a lovely day!

47 comments:

  1. Oh wow...that was the saddest opossum acrostic I have EVER read. Ever.*sigh*

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    1. I'm sorry. I know you were already in a contemplative, sad mood. This couldn't have helped. However, I would like to know where you have read another opossum acrostic. :)

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  2. Oh wow...that was the most AWESOME opossum acrostic I have EVER read. Ever. *giggle*

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    1. Loved it. Also, as a person who once had to clean out two gigantic wheelie bins full of maggots after somedouche left the lids off and a rip in the bags, I have EVERY sympathy with COW, and, had I been there, would've advised an aerosol and a lighter as an appropriate method of killing them. Or gas and a lighter. Or anything to burn the little maggoty gits with fire.

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    2. That is a lot of maggots! EW! Did you really light them on fire?

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    3. No, I just wish I did. In the end we were so grossed out we tried to drown them in paraffin and white spirits...they REALLY didn't like that. And they all died. Which was good. But they were still there, and now poisonous, which was gross. But it was at the nursery so we didn't really feel like a maggot and intensely-flammable-liquids bonfire was probably appropriate.

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    4. No, I imagine you would have been fired if you would have followed through with that idea. And an even bigger EW for the solution you came up with to kill them all.

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    5. Yes - 'specially as the boss had (eventually) rolled up her sleeves and was helping. That was the day she earned my respect.

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  3. Hahahaha!!! Only you!! What a crazy story LOL.

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    1. No joke! Why is it always our family??

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  4. At least this wasn't an animal you had lovingly (or maybe not so lovingly) cared for and hoped to eat one day...how's the for sympathy?

    I LOVE the new profile picture btw :)

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    1. The sympathetic vibes are coming through nice and clearly. :)

      Thanks!

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  5. What a shame about the Opossum, Christine - although I loved the acrostic! :)

    It's a pity you didn't think to feed the chickens with the maggots, though - they love the things! Lol

    When I first moved to Wales, we lived in a place overrun by mice - as fast as we were setting traps, the mice were committing suicide on them so, as it took place mainly at night, we;d get rid of the mice by throwing them out of the bedroom window - but we could never find the bodies the next day. It was only about a week later, when the mice decided to kill themselves on the day shift, that we realised our chickens were making short work of the bodies!

    It took me a few weeks before I could face eating an egg after that, but it never harmed us, so we figured the chickens liked the extra protein! :)

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    1. I actually did think about feeding the maggots to the chickens! I wasn't about to carry the bag out there and uncover whatever was under it, though. I forgot to mention it to COW before he went out. Bummer, isn't it?

      You mice story is horribly hilarious. I love that you just threw them out the window. I love that it took you a week to figure out it was the chickens eating them.

      And ew. I heard chickens would eat just about anything, but mice seems to be a bit too far. :)

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    2. My chickens eat mice too! Not sure on the maggots though... I have heard they can eat through a chicken's "craw" but no idea if that is true or not lol.

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    3. Good heavens, what kind of chickens are you all raising??? So Lana, do your chickens catch, kill, then eat the mice, or do you throw them dead ones? Either way, I have some mice I'll be happy to feed them. :)

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  6. Oh, wow - that was the FIRST possum acrostic I have ever read....

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    1. Don't ever say my blog doesn't have anything original. :)

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  7. I knew from your first Comment that I liked you, I just couldn't put my finger on it, now I can... you are (nearly) as weird* as me.

    *ok, I'll qualify that, '...nearly as weird, at times, as me'

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    1. Ha! Thanks for the qualifier. I shall take the "weird" descriptor as a compliment. Who wants to be normal?

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  8. First...death by butcher. Haha!
    Second...maggots! O...M...G!!!!!!!!!!! *gagging/dry heaving as only Riley could/would*
    Third...go look up definition of acrostic (although you gave a pretty good clue...duh)
    Fourth...read your acrostic. BAAAHAAAHAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    1. Maggots are so nasty, aren't they? Every time I see them (which isn't that often!) I think of Poltergeist. Remember that scene, when the ghost hunter guy was in the kitchen? Gag! And thanks to your videos, I know exactly what you look like when you gag. :)
      The only reason I know the word "acrostic" is because my kids go to a school which has a poetry unit each year. The kids come home with them every year in grades K-4.
      Glad you found it amusing. :)

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  9. I tried not to laugh but...that was funny. Poor opossum. They sure are ugly little beasts, even when they're not covered in maggots.

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    1. I know how you feel. I feel bad laughing, but how can I not?

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  10. I must say, a poem would have been one of the last things on my mind. It really added quite a touch to your post, though. :-)

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  11. If I'd come face to face with those maggots I'd have run for the hills, screaming all the way - anything like that makes my skin crawl. Urgh! Poor little oppossum, what a way to die - hopefully it was very quick and he didn't suffer. Am I the only one who thinks they're cute? Loved the acrostic though, and the new profile pic is great.

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    1. I'm thinking it was quick. COW never heard anything when he was out there.

      Yes, you really are the only person who thinks they are cute.

      Thanks!

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    2. I'm with Tigermouse I think they're pretty cute also.

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  12. At least it wasn't one of your chickens. That's where I was afraid the story was going.

    I'd much prefer "death by chocolate" :)

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    1. It could have been a chicken if we hadn't taken care of the opossum. The room it was killed is attached to the chicken's room.

      Ha! Funny, the PE teacher at our school owns a catering company. She makes a dessert called "Death by Chocolate" that she makes for us pretty frequently. Awesome stuff, full of brownies and pudding and whipped cream and marvelousness. Much better than being squashed by 50 pounds of chicken feed.

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  13. I see a book series in your future!

    I certainly don't feel bad about a dead opossum. What the heck are they good for anyway?

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    1. And the title would be...50 Ways to Kill an Animal?

      I don't know of a darn thing.

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    1. I know. I do feel bad for the poor thing.

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  15. OH--NASTY! I can imagine the smell and I'm gagging over here!

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  16. The smell probably rivaled that of my dog and I after we were sprayed by a skunk while out for a dark stroll! However, skunks are cuter than possums...not sure what that even has to do with these tales :). Thankfully COW was willing to tackle the problem for you!

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    1. Oh my word!!! I have grown up in areas highly populated with skunks. I know that smell. I've never known someone to actually get sprayed by one, though!! What did you do? Tomato juice bath? How long did you smell?? Oh, that is just horrible.

      Yes, very nice of him. Of course, he's the one who made the mess to begin with... :)

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  17. Hahahah we've had them fall off the roof of the house right into the trash can and stay trapped there until the unsuspecting garbage men come and take the trash. I would not like to be a garbage man and I would HATE to be our garbage man!

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    1. That is awesome! How many times has it happened??
      Surely, that isn't the first wild animal your trash men have found. There has to have been scavengers in trash cans before.

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  18. I'm thinking I need to get myself a farm --- my life in town is just way tooooo boring to write about!!!

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  19. before I became a shrink i was a wound care specialist. You can imagine my maggot story and why I went into psychology instead. I have to admit I still don't know why I raise chickens.

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