I know I promised you something funny for my next post. I know three contemplative posts in a row is not what you all signed up for when you chose to "follow" me. So sorry. Gonna have to do it to you.
Phoenix, my oldest, my baby who is taller than me, my sweet little guy who loves his mama so much, had a meeting with the counselor and chose his classes for his first year of high school this morning. And I didn't get to go.
Part of me is so sad that he's growing up. I only have four more years of him in this house. I know that as they get to be seniors, most parents are ready to kick their "I know everything and you know jack" teens to the curb. But they don't have a sweet, funny boy like Phoenix. :)
Part of me is so excited for him. He will be going to a fantastic high school with so much to offer. He is excited, but it's only in a "I hear school is fun, but I have no idea why" kind of way.
Most of me is scared. Scared for a whole variety of reasons. Of course, there's the fact that he will be getting his driver's permit in approximately 8 months. (AAAHHHH!!!) That is enough to put a whole mess of fear in my heart. I'm scared that he will take on too much, seeing as how his plan is to take at least 7 AP courses before he graduates, plus play soccer and other things. (Don't forget a job, there Big Boy.) But mostly, I'm scared about girls, and what stupid things he is going to do because of them. I'm scared, because Hubby and I met when I was a freshman in high school then started dating when I was a sophomore. In a mere six months, Phoenix could meet the girl he will eventually marry. (AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!)
So, to help dear Phoenix along, I'm going to give him some advice. He needs to learn from others' mistakes (namely, boys with whom I went to high school (Hubby included)) so he doesn't embarrass the tar out of himself.
1. When I was a freshman, my Civics class was about to get started, and we were all in our seats. The teacher handed me a folded piece of paper. I have to believe she was completely unaware as to what that paper said, because it was, in fact, a love-ish letter from a not-so-popular, shy senior. He had this teacher for an earlier class, and since he and I didn't have any classes together, decided he would just ask the teacher to give it to me. Since it was from the teacher, I opened it and read it right away. Big, fat mistake. Somehow, someone caught a glimpse of what the note said while I read it, and within the blink of an eye, everyone knew. I turned purple from embarrassment and had people hasslin' me for months. (I eventually had to talk to him face to face and let him know that we could not date.)
Moral of the story: DON'T USE A TEACHER TO PASS NOTES! OK, that's a little dated, seeing as how everyone and their brother has a phone and simply texts. Kids barely know how to write an actual note, let alone know what to do with it. So, an updated version will be: DON'T USE A TEACHER TO TEXT NOTES! Or something like that.
2. There is a story that won't die about a certain boy who, while dancing with a girl at one of our school's weekly, after-football game, sock hops, went onto the dance floor with gum in his mouth. When he returned to the wall where his friends were gathered, he was no longer chewing gum, but the girl was.
Moral of the story: DON'T KISS ANY GIRLS! OK, that's probably not going to happen, but I had to throw it out there. I told you he is a good boy who loves his mama. Perhaps there is a chance he'll listen to me. If not, then the moral is IF, WHEN YOU ARE A SENIOR AND FINALLY READY TO HAVE YOUR FIRST KISS, FOR PETE'S (or should I say Patricia's?) SAKE DON'T DO IT ON A DANCE FLOOR! AND SPIT YOUR GUM OUT FIRST!
3. When Hubby and I first started talking during my sophomore year, he was sorta dating another girl. Really, they had only been on a few dates. I still don't know how he broke up with her. I guess I never asked. All I know is that at some point after he had asked me out, she received roses from him. He has always claimed that it was his mother who sent them. There was some confusion about the entire situation. All very strange. I still make fun of him for it.
Moral of the story: I have a bit of a dilemma. As his mom, I'd like to say DON'T DATE! As a friend, I'd say DON'T GET YOUR MOM INVOLVED IN YOUR DATING LIFE! But I'm his mom and he darn well better be talking to me about who he's dating and what they are up to. I guess I'll go with DO NOT ASK YOUR MOTHER TO SEND FLOWERS TO ANYONE!
4. A friend of ours had been dating a girl for a month or so. Certainly not very long, but that month happened to be around a holiday. Christmas if I remember correctly. He spent quite a bit of money to buy her a nice necklace. Less than a week after giving it to her, she dumped him and didn't even give the necklace back.
Moral of the story: DON'T DATE! Oh, there I go again, being the mom. I guess the more realistic moral would be: DON'T BUY EXPENSIVE GIFTS UNTIL YOU ARE READY TO BUY AN ENGAGEMENT RING!
5. Halloween just happened to be two weeks before Hubby and I went on our first date. Our school allowed us to dress up for the day, and Hubby and a friend (who happened to be a girl) decided to dress alike. No big deal, except they dressed up as clowns.
Moral of the story: DON'T DRESS UP LIKE A CLOWN! EVER! You will look like a dork. And clowns are creepy.
Alright, I think that's a good start. Follow up lessons will be forthcoming, since we haven't even touched on the topics of buying flowers for the prom or picking out a tie.
Have a lovely day!