Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Bermuda, Part 2

If you missed part one, go here.

A gnat and a blue whale have more in common than Bermuda and the US do. 

To illustrate:

US:  There are fast food joints on every corner, and frequently there are long lines in the drive-thru.

Bermuda:  Not only are there no fast food joints, there are no chain restaurants of any kind.  There used to be a McDonald's on the US Navy base on the island.  On Wednesday nights they would open it up for civilians.  The base has since closed.  No more Happy Meals in Bermuda.

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US:  Many stores are open 24/7.  It is rare to find a store that isn't open on Sunday. 

Bermuda:  The island shuts down on Sunday.  Better have your shopping done by 5:00 Saturday.  Most stores don't stay open past 6:00 any day of the week. 

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US:  We Americans expect stellar service in a very quick fashion.  If we have to wait more than 30 minutes for an oil change, we get perturbed.

Bermuda:  Bermudians don't know the meaning of the word "hurry".  Our scooter was in the shop once.  It was supposed to be fixed on Thursday.  I called a few times on Thursday to see what time I could pick it up, but never got anyone to answer the phone.  I finally talked to someone on Friday morning.  I was told the guy who has the key to the shop wasn't feeling well on Thursday, and the other guy didn't want to drive all the way out to get the key, so they didn't open.  Two things to note in that story:
    1.  The island is only 25 miles end to end.  The shop is in the middle of the island.  The drive to the key would be less than 10 miles.
    2.  He actually told me the lame reason!!  Other Bermudians would have completely agreed with his logic.  Which leads me to...

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US:  Relatives are required to attend each and every holiday, birthday party, and not-so-special occasion if they live within a three hour drive.

Bermuda:  Not so much.  I worked with a Bermudian who hadn't seen her sister in an entire year.  Her sister lived on the east side of the island.   This was not an unusual situation.

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US: Lots and lots of people move to the US every year, all with varying degrees of wealth.

Bermuda:  Non-Bermudians can only buy houses that cost more than a million dollars.  No joke.

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US:  People seem to get visas left and right for school and work.

Bermuda:  They are very protective of their work permits.  (There are no school visas, as there is only one small little college.)  Any position not filled by a Bermudian must go up as an open position every three years.  If a qualified Bermudian wants the job, the Bermudian gets it.  An example:  A teacher taught in a school for 15 years, but when her position came up, a qualified Bermudian wanted it.  The teacher lost her work permit. 

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US:  Marketing and billboards and commercials and salespeople hit us from every angle all the live long day.

Bermuda:  Billboards are against the law.  While we lived there, a pizza place had to take its sign down because it was too flashy.  It was a simple white and red sign, no lights, on the side of the building that basically said, "Pizza" and the phone number of the place.  The only advertising tourist attractions are allowed to do is place pamphlets in hotel or cruise ship lobbies.  You will never have someone approach you to sell something.  In Caribbean islands, a tourist is bombarded with a constant stream of locals trying to hock their wares.  That will never happen in Bermuda. 

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US:  Unemployment hovers around high single digit percentages, representing millions of people.  Each and every city has people begging for cash.

Bermuda:  When we were there, 317 Bermudians were without jobs.  And not one person was begging for anything.

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US:  The FDA, CDC, and myriad other agencies keep a tight reign on medicine and food and scores of other things allowed in our country.

Bermuda:  They make sure no dirt comes in our out of Bermuda on people's shoes.  The medical differneces didn't hit me until I had to go to the hospital.  I crashed on our scooter (which led to it being in the shop from above story) and really tore up the left side of my body, especially my leg, shoulder, and hand.  In triage, waiting to be seen, a nurse came over with some gauze and said, "The sight of your wounds is making some other patients sick, so I'm going to cover you up a bit."  I would have been offended if I didn't agree completely.  (I held my hand palm up, as there was so much bleeding and oozing.  It actually looked like a greasy pizza.) 
Once I got back to the exam room, the doctor (I think it was a doctor.  Can't be sure.) took a gander at my wounds, then opened up a big plastic container.  She told me to prop my hand up on the table, then proceeded to pour the liquid over my hand.  OH.MY.HEAVENS. it hurt.  Worse than the actual accident.  Then she poured it all over my leg wounds.  I might have screamed.  Wished I could have passed out.  I was bandaged up and sent on home with instructions to bathe the wounds in Mercurochrome a few times a day.  The FDA banned Mercurochrome at about the same time it was being poured all over my body.

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US:  Pringles are the fancy chips.

Bermuda:  Pringles are the cheap chips.  It is the only time in our first 10 years of marriage that we were able to afford Pringles.  Everything in Bermuda is expensive, seeing as there is very little grown or made in Bermuda.  Everything is shipped.  Pringles are nice and compact, which makes for easy shipping.  Basically, they cost the same as they did in our Arkansas Piggly Wiggly. (We lived in Little Rock for 6 months before being shipped off to Bermuda.)

I think that's enough Bermuda talk for one day.  It's nice to think back on our time there, but when I am sitting under two blankets, looking at the ice on our windows, too much Bermuda talk starts to become depressing.

If you like this little series, let me know.

If you have any questions about our time there, let me know.

If you would like for me to stop, for Pete's sake, stop talking about our glory days, please let me know.

Have a lovely day!

13 comments:

  1. I love the series...keep it going. I will eventually know enough about Bermuda that I will begin to pass off your stories as my own and no one will be the wiser because I've gathered enough random information...I mean hard-core facts. :)

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    1. I am the queen of random information. What is that saying? Something about knowing a little about a lot of things, but an expert at nothing?

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  2. Love it! I know what you mean when you start talking about a place you used to live and you start missing it...sigh..,I want to cry whenever I see any show on Alaka or Seattle (and there are a lot of them). Kudos to correct use of the word "myriad"

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    1. I can't tell you how much it delights and scares me to have grammar nerds read this blog. :)

      I want to go to Alaska someday. All of those shows really make it look like an awesome place. Any chance you could go back at least for a visit?

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    2. I'd love to go back to Alaska for a visit! Maybe in a few years...it's an expensive and difficult trip to take with toddlers. If you ever go, give me a holler. I will tell you EVERYTHING you need to know :)

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  3. We went there on vacation once, because it's a quick plane ride from the coast of North Cackalacky where we live. I even brought back that pink sand as a keepsake. The worst part was trying to drive those scooters after too many alcoholic drinks. WHEW, it's a wonder we survived!!!

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    1. How lucky you are to live in NC. Beautiful place in itself, but so close to paradise. Isn't that pink sand wonderful? It's hard enough for tourists to ride those things sober. Can't imagine.

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  4. Not to brag... but I worked in the yard in shorts and t~shirt today, actually started getting the pool ready for spring... Come on down. Although we usually have a few more COLD days in Feb when the North winds blow! And I enjoy the stories... keep 'em coming!

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    1. If you aren't trying to brag, with all your t-shirt and shorts talk, what exactly are you trying to do??? I'd be there in a heartbeat if it weren't for these kids holding me back.
      Glad you like the Bermuda talk.

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    2. Soooo I spent too much time outside yesterday the Live Oaks are pollenating so everything is beginning to show the green dust and the little spirals of tree are falling, I have not stopped sneezing today, actually right now I have toilet paper shoved into my nostrils to stop the drips while I type this. So don't bother coming down until the pollen settles. Praying for rain this week to wash some away. Little A's cottage has a greenish roof right now. Guess God is teaching me not to brag. Enjoy your show one day we'll head up north to see snow!

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  5. I went to Bermuda when I was 13 and loved it! It was a beautiful place and I'd love to go back someday. You're lucky you got to live there!

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    1. We were very blessed to have such an opportunity. I hope you do get to go back again.

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  6. It was completely wonderful. Except the crash, of course. Good questions! I'll answer them in the next installment.
    I'm glad you aren't bored to tears walking down memory lane with me.

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Thank you for taking the time to tell me what you're thinking!