Monday Listicles - Compliments

Every Monday, Stasha at The Good Life starts a Monday Listicles link up by giving a prompt.  This week, people are to list 10 compliments.  I thought that today I'd give it a whirl.

I have for you a list of 10 compliments.  Sentences spoken to me by other people who only meant to be kind.  And in return, I am going to totally make fun of them.  It's amazing that people even talk to me anymore.  I'm going to do it David Letterman style. 

10. "The floor is clean!" No need to be surprised, Dear Giant. I do actually get off my rump and do things around here.

9. "Well, that's different." Grandma, you're going to have to come up with a new word. Your entire family knows that when you say it, you really mean, "That is just plain awful."

8. "This doesn't taste too bad." Well, then quit scrunching your nose. And really, unless you can say, "Thank you for making a delicious dinner, Mom" just don't talk.

7.  "Have you lost weight?"  This would have been a very nice thing to say, if it wasn't spoken by someone I hadn't seen in at least a year.  And I didn't happen to be 6 months pregnant when she asked me. 

6.  "We want to be like you in ten years."  Also would have been a nice thing to say, if it were from a high schooler.  Unfortunately, not so.  It was from my "friends" in my bible study.

5.  "You are a better woman than I am."  At first hearing this, I was upset, because I don't like to hear moms put themselves down.  But after hearing this more than once, I realized it is more like the southern phrase, "Bless her heart".  People only say it when I am in the grocery store or some such crazy place with all six kids.  In those situations where one child is pulling things off the shelf, two are in the middle of a bicker-fest, and two are flinging each other around the aisle.  The people that are saying this aren't complimenting me.  They are pitying me.

4.  "Can I see your I.D. young lady?"  said the bouncer-guy at a piano bar.  I know, and you know, that he says that to every single crow's-feeted, gray-haired, saggy-boobed, frazzled mama that comes through that door. 

3.  "You have got some muscular calves!"  While, in fact, I did have muscular calves, I really wish the female high school teacher of questionable orientation didn't point that out when she was walking up the stairs behind my friends and me.  25 years later I still get reminded of those muscular calves by Hubby and other high school friends.

2. "That is perfect on you!" The last time I ever listened to my mother's fashion advice was the day she talked me in to wearing a blinged-out cowboy hat for my wedding.

And the number one compliment I have received....

"I love you more than a Big Mac."  Spoken by Hubby in the middle of his marriage proposal.  In the 7 years we dated, I knew him to eat maybe a handful of Big Macs, so I couldn't say in all certainty that this was, in fact, all that great.  

Have a lovely day!