Monday, January 25, 2016

"Psychological Thrillers" Are Now Banned from Our House, or My Kids Are Messing with My Mind Again

HELP! HELP ME! HELP!!!

That is not the scream to which a mother wishes to be awoken.

And yet I was.

At 2:00 am.

In a hotel room in Chicago.

HELP ME!! PHOENIX! HELP!

The child was begging for help from his oldest brother, since that is who he fell asleep next to a mere 2 hours before.

Of course, the older brother didn't wake up. His ears aren't programmed to alert the brain when little boys scream in the middle of the night.

Mine are.

I catapulted myself out of bed and over to theirs.

HELP! HELP ME! HEEEEEELP!

In the pitch-black dark, I searched for my boy.

WHERE ARE YOU?? 

I searched the floor. I searched the bed. He was nowhere, and yet he had to be. I could hear him.

I'M RIGHT HERE!! HELP ME!!

I got down on my hands and knees, frantically patting the floor. 

No boy.

I reached up onto the bed, searching through the blankets.

No boy.

But he had to be there. I could hear him, and he was so close!!

HELP ME! MOM! HELP!

Finally, my hand found something round.

IS THAT YOU??

I quickly ran my hand over the round thing I had touched. It might be...seems to be his head...where's the rest of him???

MOM! HELP!

I groped in the dark and felt something that could have been part of his arm.

Yes! It was him!

My dear little 7 year old had managed to wiggle his way under the blankets all the way to the foot of the bed. He had actually rolled off the end of the bed, but the sheets, so tightly tucked by housekeeping, had caught him. And there he woke, trapped in an unknown, cramped, dark, scary place.

I yanked the blankets off of Phoenix and pulled Turken out. Once free, he simply crawled back to his pillow and promptly fell back to sleep.

I, hopped up on adrenaline, didn't fall back to sleep for another hour.

Of course.

In the morning, I asked the three kids in the hotel with me what they remembered of the middle of the night excitement.

Buttercup: "What are you talking about?"
Phoenix: "Yeah. No. Pretty sure that didn't happen."
Even Turken, the boy whom I had rescued: "Huh? I did what?"
Phoenix: "Mom, you had a dream. None of it happened."
Buttercup: "Ha! You dreamed the entire thing!"
Me: NO! This was no dream!
All three kids: Hahahaha!!! Wait til Dad hears about THIS one!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. My kids are conspiring to make me look like I'm losing my mind. I don't know what their end game is, but I know there is one. And if I don't step up my own game, perhaps get a dashcam-type thing-a-ma-jig to record my entire life, I don't see this ending well for me.

I swear to you, it happened.

There was no dream.

The kids were so exhausted from the long day of volleyball that they didn't wake up.

I. Saved. Turken.

But I don't have to convince you.

You, my faithful readers, believe me.

Right?

27 comments:

  1. Were the sheets pulled out of the foot of the bed when you got up in the morning? There's your proof!

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    2. Hahahaha!! I had to delete that comment because it just sounded so wrong... Anyway...

      Those sheets weren't coming untucked. I threw the blankets down off of Phoenix as far as I could and had to stretch down to the foot of the bed to get to Turken. They just covered themselves back up, leaving no trace of a struggle.

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  2. *snorks* No, I completely believe you and HOW FRUSTRATING! Good rescue!

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    1. Thank you! I knew I could count on you!

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  3. I totally believe it. How terrifying to hear that in the middle of the night!

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    1. My heart was in my throat. That is no way to wake up, I'll tell ya that!

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  4. I totally believe it. How terrifying to hear that in the middle of the night!

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  5. If Mom says it happened, it happened. End of story. Now just think what you can do with that power. Hahahaha

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    1. THANK YOU! Now, can you please send a really intimidating note to let my kids know of this rule. :)

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  6. Ha...so funny. Your kids are gaslighting you! LOL. I agree, if Mom says it happened, it happened.

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    1. THAT'S THE WORD!!! When I was trying to come up with a title, I couldn't think of the word. Gaslighting!! (Of course, this is just another bit of proof that my kids can use to prove my mind is gone.) :)

      Now to get the kids to agree...

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  7. Mom is always right, right? :-)

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  8. I believe you. Kids do conspire to make moms look foolish and all moms know that. We have to stick together.

    Have a fabulous day and that was a great save. ☺

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    1. Ain't that the truth! I knew you'd have my back!

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  9. I believe you. Wait until I stop laughing. The laundry basket story is pretty funny too. How many times have people said to you, "You ought to write a book"? Love the adventures.

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    1. Thank you! I'm glad I wasn't home when the laundry basket episode occurred. I don't know what I would have done.

      A fair number. ;)

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  10. Riiiiiiight. :P As a mom...I want to stick with you but lately...I question myself as to whether or not something has happened WHEN I'M AWAKE!!! Oi-vay.

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    1. NO! We must stick together!! I'll back you up if you back me up, no matter what crazy things come out of your mouth! :)

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  11. That sounds like a nightmare in more ways than one, especially as your kids seem to be conspiring to make you think it really WAS one.

    I had a similar experience a couple of weeks ago - woke one morning convinced my son had been in a drunken brawl in the street the night before and had been arrested by the police. I was so sure it was true I phoned him to see if he was okay and he hadn't a clue what I was talking about, then realisation dawned gradually that it had been a dream because (a) my son isn't one for fighting and (b) he doesn't drink anyway. I was so certain it was true though :)

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    1. You ain't kidding!

      Those dreams are the worst!! I've had many over the years. My dad once called me to make sure I was OK. The night before he dreamed that I had died, and it seemed so real he had to check on me. :)

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  12. first of all - I really need to point out who you are dealing with; two teenagers who as you know; they (teenagers) know everything and are convinced of it, and 100% certain that they know it all - then there's the little brother who at his age is still in awe of his older siblings and will go along with the majority - basically your out-numbered; however knowing all of this let's admit teenagers are truly unreliable when remembering an event...not to mention that they were sound asleep and still certain that it did not happen...LOL if you say it happened then it did.... :)

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  13. Oh, yeah, it happened. There are some very real dreams, but when the adrenaline kicks in and wake you up, you realize it's not real. Not the case here! Hilarious, though. It'll be even funnier when they have kids and you can side against THEM and tell them they're crazy. ;)

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  14. Arrgghhh! As a Mom, I can well imagine that heart-in-throat response to a child crying out for help! I believe it happened, a heart-rate monitor would have blown it's top right about that moment! But the kids of course do not remember it, they were not the ones concerned. Even scarier yet is the incidents that they remember, that you have no recollection of at all, mine have played that game with my mind too. And what if they're right??

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