Monday, June 3, 2013

Feel Like You're Being Watched? It's Probably Me.

Today's Monday Listicle is "10 Things I First Notice about Someone". 

I am a people watcher.  I so enjoy observing others, and seeing what they do, how they interact, and their choices in personal hygiene.  I like to try to figure out their stories, their relationships.  I know I'm wrong almost every time, and there is no way to know anyone's story by simply observing them from afar, but I still enjoy doing it.

Oh, the conundrum...

Do I admit to being judgmental and turn you all against me?  by saying things like, "I notice if you're wearing pajama pants someplace other than your house.  I love to wear pajama pants, seeing as how they're so comfortable and all.  However, when you leave the house, GET DRESSED!  For the love, it's not that hard to put on a pair of real pants."

Or do I go safe and boring, although sometimes a bit creepy?  I always notice people's eyes.  That's boring, until I add... Especially one of Phoenix's friends.  He has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen, and I just can't take my eyes off of them.  Even when I'm watching the boys play in a basketball game, I just look at this kid's eyes.  I'm sure the poor boy is completely creeped out by me.

 I think I'll go semi-safe.   On Thursday, I received a text that read, "Want to go see Tim McGraw tonight?  (a friend) backed out at the last minute, so I have an extra ticket."

Will it be way past my bedtime?  yes.

Do I even know any Tim McGraw songs?  One, I think.

Do I want to go?  Heck, ya!

So I went.   I gotta tell ya, there is some goooood people watching to be had at a Tim McGraw concert, my friends.

And for the list...

10 Reasons I Noticed People at the Tim McGraw Concert

1.  Honey, it looks like you outgrew that outfit when you were 14.  How about you head on to the stores and get yourself some clothes that actually cover your assets.  And by "assets" I mean your butt and your boobs and your belly.  Just to be clear.

2.  Sir, if you were with me, I'd pop you.  You are really making it hard for your lady to dance with your hand in her back pocket the entire evening.

3.  Excuse me, ladies, but there are six of you and one little boy which you seem to be sharing.  I'm just dying to know what the situation is.   Can you at least tell me which one of you is the mom?  Are you all related?  Are you sister wives?  Why aren't there any men?  This boy could grow one of two ways: the best husband in the world, as he knows women, or the worst husband ever, as he's spoiled rotten and would expect it from his wife.  Give me just a hint.

4.  Ma'am, where are your teeth?  Perhaps, instead of splurging on pavilion seats, you could have sat in the grass and used that saved money for some chompers?

5.  Older Lady with the outfit my daughter wore when she was 5, I recognize those dance moves.  You are a fan of High School Musical, aren't you?

6.  Tim, why are you singing a love song with Taylor Swift?  You are married to a famous singer.  Why not sing it with your wife

7.  People wandering around in the dark, looking for your cars in the humungous grassy parking lot, stinks to be you.  Although, it's good for me.  You are quite enjoyable to watch.

8.  Lady doing her hair after leaving the bathroom stall, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE WASH YOUR HANDS!!!!  And now, as you leave, I will vomit in my mouth.

9.  Awww, older couple slow-dancing while everyone is sitting through the third slow song in a row.   Many happy years to you!

10.  Grumpy boys in yellow "security" polos, um, I can't take you seriously.  You are an 18 year old making sure no one stands in the aisle.  You are not the secret service guarding the president.   Smile a bit.  Or at least do something besides grunt.   You aren't old enough, nor fit enough, for me to actually trust you if an emergency were to break out.   Try to be a bit more polite.  I actually have a friend who is a secret service agent guarding the president.  He's not as grumpy as you.

32 comments:

  1. You vocalizing my thoughts about pajama pants in public will not turn me against you. :-)

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  2. Oh Christine, this was delightful! You have me laughing this morning. :-) We sound so much alike. I too am fascinated by people, and watching is my favorite pastime. I also must admit to making the same kind of judgements, though I know it's probably not my most charming attribute. But hey, everything you mentioned right down the list are things I observe and note to Papa Bear every day... especially women who try to dress like they are still 18, and think they fit into those clothes... yikes! Remind me to share a concert with you sometime, we'd have a blast making notes! :-)

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    1. So glad you liked it. People are just so fascinating, how can you not watch?? We would have a great time at a concert together. Just pick a date! :)

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  3. I just <3 this post, that is all.

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  4. Ha! People watching at concerts is the best. It's fun to be judgmental in your head (or on your blog), because I'm too nice to do it in real life. Great twist on the listicles today, Christine!

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  5. I like people watching so much, I should go pro.

    Can you include this? 11. Hey, drunk girl behind me. I paid a lot of money to hear TIM McGRAW sing, NOT YOU. Shut yer pie hole and listen.

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    1. At most concerts this is probably true. At this one, though, not so much. He played all sorts of songs that no one knew. Although, I would have loved to use a well placed "shut your pie hole." :)

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  6. This was excellent!!!! I fancy myself quite an expert people watcher myself, and if you remember, I was actually kicked outta The Embassy Suites breakfast buffet for wearing my Sponge Bob pajama pants. Yeppers, I got a taste of my own medicine that day.

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    1. Thank you!
      How could I forget your Sponge Bob faux pas? I have no doubt people say things about me, too. Of course, never enough to actually kick me out of a breakfast buffet...

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  7. bwahahahaha, love the twist on the post. I have noticed people for similar reasons. I am all for being who you are and dressing how you like...BUT...I don't want to see your privates flapping all over the place.

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    1. Thanks! Glad you liked it. I do love it when people are comfortable enough to just let themselves be who they are. Makes watching them so much more fun. :) Except the privates. There's a reason they're called "privates".

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  8. High School Musical dance moves? I almost wish I would have been there!

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    1. The only reason I recognized them is because the middle school did the musical this year. We had to watch it so my kids knew who they were playing. This woman had them DOWN.

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  9. I really want to know the story behind the six women and the one little boy now! I'm imagining a Wonderwomanesque kind of commune that somehow had a man child foisted on them and now they're raising him. It's got all the makings of an excellent sitcom!

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    1. They sat right in front of us, and the entire night I tried to figure it out. All to no avail. Seems they've already done something similar, except with men. Oh yeah! Ever heard of "Three Men and a Baby?"

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  10. Oof, #1 is hard to watch. I'm not a particularly conservative person but, dude, underboob and dangling butt cheek belong on bud light calendars from 1985.

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    1. That is exactly what she looked like!

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  11. I am a people watcher too! I like to watch people at places like the airport and try to figure out "their story", who is with who, pleasure or business, are they married or dating, going somewhere because the have to or want to. And my all time favorite...what do they see in each other?

    Now I know I am not alone LOL.

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    1. Airports are good places, too. I always get to the airport early, and I so enjoy just sitting and watching everyone. Not alone at all. :)

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  12. A cute and snide listicle all around. Well done.

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    1. Thanks. Not everyday you see the words 'cute' and 'snide' describing the same thing. :)

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  13. I'm glad I wasn't drinking coffee when I read number 4 and I think I threw up a little in my mouth too. :(

    People watching is a great past time.

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    1. Why, oh why, can't everyone wash their hands???

      So much fun.

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  14. Oh your list is just awesome!! I have to fully agree on the pants. I also feel the same about workout clothes. I will occasionally have a day where I wear them all day, but I always feel like a lazy slob who didn't shower. Get dressed people! I want to know what the deal is with the boy and all the ladies too now. So funny!

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  15. #8 I see this all the time!!! I don't get the touching the hair before washing your hands. Ewwwwww.

    I lose my car in parking lots all the time - broad daylight and my remote doesn't work so I can't cheat to find it. It's quite embarrassing especially when someone is following you slowly in their car so they can get your space.

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  16. Love your take on the list. Tim McGraw...awesome!

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  17. Buh-RILLIANT.

    And I now want a photo (or at least a description) of that kids eyes - why are they so special? Could you creep him out more with a candid pic? I think so....

    I love watching people. I don't really invent stories so much as just take them in - the different shapes of faces, colours of hair and skin, style of clothes...and yes, I will totally judge if the clothes are horrendous :D

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  18. That is too funny!! My husband is the total voyeur of the two of us...you should hear him talk about taking our oldest son to a WWE event!

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  19. I tell you what... when I leave the house you (and the rest of humanity) are lucky I even bother wearing any pants! I hate those suckers. Maybe a few more months at Planet Fitness will make it acceptable >.> Didn't think so...

    Can't lie, I'm conflicted about #1 :-)

    Don't judge... I won't comment about your staring obsession! Deal? Deal.

    Jak at The Cryton Chronicles & Dreams in the Shade of Ink

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Thank you for taking the time to tell me what you're thinking!