Monday, May 27, 2013

Monday Listicles: It's a Celebration!

A number is completely relative.  If simply given the number 100, a person cannot say with confidence, "It is a large number."

If you're talking about the number of dollars you have in the bank, an adult may cry from the smallness of it.

If you're talking about degrees, a child may cry from the It's So Stinkin' Hotness of it.

100 cookies would be considered excessive.

100 Legos wouldn't be enough to make a good house, let alone a good castle.

100 words in a post would be unheard of/impossible for most of us.

100 Listicles would seem unreachable.


Stasha has done it!  Today is the 100th Monday Listicle!  In celebration, our topic is "Why Listicles are Great (or anything else you fancy)".

Well, I only have three reasons for why Listicles are great:

1.  Funny, funny people link up each week, and it's always good to start a week with some belly laughing.
2.  The topics are great jumping-off points to test my own creativity.
3.  The writing of my Listicle and the reading of other Listicles are great excuses for procrastinating and avoiding my chores.

I am a great procrastinator.  I have no trouble coming up with something to do besides what I should be doing.  So, I'm going to take Door #2 and make a list of "anything else I fancy" while I put off cleaning and getting graduation decorations ready. 

10 Ways to Get Out of Doing Yard Work, Even When Your Yard Looks Like an Abandoned Property and Your House Looks Like It Was Taken Over By Homeless Squatters.
(aka What We Did This Weekend)

1.  Avoid the mower for a whole week, so when the grass/weeds are really long and it's time to mow, the mower's battery will be dead.  It takes an entire day to charge, and there isn't a darn thing you can do about it.

2.  Attend every single party to which you were invited (including the 8th grade picnic on the last day of school) even if it means you will talk to the same exact people at every single one.
And you'll get to take boring photos of kids signing each other's shirts, but unexpectedly get a shot of a basketball which looks like it's going to have a direct hit with your oldest's head.

3.  Have a yummy dessert disguised as breakfast at a restaurant, because, Hey! I have a 10% off coupon!

Chocolate Cheesecake Pancakes with a side of butter.  I talked him out of the Oreo Cheesecake pancakes with the logic that the Oreos would be too unhealthy.
3.  Hold a butterfly at the zoo's butterfly exhibit.

5.  Or not.

6.  Take a nice, long walk along the canal, because the big honkin' van you drive doesn't fit in any of the downtown parking garages.

7.  Visit with baby ducklings.

8.  Make fun of the city which thought it necessary to engrave "NO SWIMMING" in the canal ledge. At least until you remember there is such a thing as a "bike bar" in which people pedal a four-person bike while sitting at a stocked bar.  No doubt, some drunkard has taken a dip in that nasty water. 

I wish I could show you a photo of the bike bar, but sadly, we didn't see it on Saturday, and we haven't done it yet.  Have patience.  The day will come.
9.  Go to a parade, and not just because you feel guilty about never taking your youngest children to a hometown parade..

He waved to everyone/thing that passed by and stood up for every single flag.  Even the checkered "Indy500" flags.

10.  Simultaneously pity and laugh at filthy rich people who have technical difficulties when they believe They: Indy500 Parade :: Santa: Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.*

The parade came to a screeching halt for about five minutes because of this fiasco.  The owners of the actual Speedway track where the 500 is raced brought up the rear of the parade in three classic cars.  The first car broke down right in front of us.  The heads of the family were moved to another car, and the lower-ranked persons were forced to hoof it for the rest of the parade.  One went off into the crowd in a bit of a snit, while two actually ran behind the cars, dressed in their dress clothes and shoes.  I would have felt bad if it weren't so darn funny to watch.
  Now, go congratulate Stasha and see what others have to say!

*After that example of my analogy-writing capabilities, you probably think I rocked the analogy questions of standardized tests.  You would be wrong.

** Why yes, we do have six children.  Phoenix and Star aren't in the photos because they left the house at 7:00am to work at the parade with other Boy Scouts.

Have a lovely day!


  1. FIrst off, I take issue at you saying 100 cookies is excessive. I couldn't disagree with you more.

    I also love your idea for not doing yard work. I've somehow convinced my husband that I can't do yard work, and it's been amazing. I am technically alergic to grass, and I use that for every possible excuse, ever.

    Might I suggest something similar? It could also get you out of the 8th grade stuff too.

    I'm just looking out for you. :-)

    1. Ha! I had quite the debate in my head before I went and published it. I finally decided that no matter who you are, 100 Oreos is excessive. Doesn't mean I won't eat 100 Oreos in one sitting, but we both know it's excessive.

      Unfortunately, my husband has awful allergies, so I do most of the mowing. Not so bad, though, as it means several hours unable to hear the "Mom!" cry.

      Thank you so much for watching my back. Good to know I can count on you!

  2. Looks like a gorgeous parade. Love all the pics. Did the ball actually hit Phoenix? If so I'll need to up the ante on my search for your voodoo dolls...

    1. I'm usually of the mind, "Seen one parade you've seen them all." The only time that isn't true is when you are seeing one with kids who have never seen a parade before. Loads of fun.

      No, the ball did not. I don't know how, or where it landed.
      Keep looking for the dolls anyway.

  3. Is that a giant Bert balloon? I'm assuming there was an Ernie. If not, that parade is full of gay bashers!!! LOL

    1. Ha! Zero controversy in these here Indy parades. That was a balloon of the yellow angry bird. :)

  4. A number IS completely relative isn't it! I love how you rationalize. :)

    Looked like you had a great weekend and way more fun than yard work.

    1. Completely! I am a pro at rationalizing.

      So much fun. And our yard tells the story. :)

  5. Your analogy is brilliant, I'm sure. But what do I know? Not my strong suit, either. (I haven't figured out what my strong suit actually is, but I know what it isn't.)

    1. Oh, it's brilliant alright. :)
      Your strong suit? Hmmmm. I thought it was cleaning up after preschool mice!

  6. To the tune of Lions Tigers and Bears - Chocolate Cheesecake Pancakes - Oh my! Yum! I don't mow but #1 would be me for real! Love the pics.

    1. He ate the entire pile of them. I'm sure it tasted good, but it made me sick just watching him eat it all.

  7. We pretty much make it a point of avoiding the lawn mower, except our house is for sale and we're kind of forced to cut it regularly. Boo.

    Great list.

    1. Ha! Right before we moved, our old neighbor was heard to say, "Well, they must be moving. They're working to get the yard in shape." I have lived it.
      Good luck with the sale of the house!

  8. Sounds like you had an awesome weekend! Those bike bars boggle my mind. There's one that drives around near here and I seem to routinely get stuck behind it in traffic. So annoying.

    1. We most certainly did. I have yet to see the bike bar. I only know of it's existence because a friend was downtown one night and texted me, asking if I would rent it with her.
      Fortunately, they don't let these on the roads. They stick to the canal. I think. I hope. I'll get right on checking that.

  9. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post!! It is NOT procrastination it is LIVING!!! Still cracking made my day!

    1. I'm glad! Living is so much more fun than yard work.

  10. I absolutely love your '100' intro to this post. Yum on the pancakes…I need to go to IHOP to try that dessert (I mean Banana Foster French Toast). Awe – I want to hold a butterfly. My parents planted butterfly bushes last year, and they really wrangle them in – it's amazing how many come to visit the bushes. The plant really lives up to its name.

    Happy Listicles Monday!

    1. Thank you!
      These pancake places really have lost all hope of ever being healthy, haven't they?
      I now need to decide where to put our new butterfly garden I just decided we so desperately need.
      Happy Listicles Monday (on Tuesday) to you!

  11. I love Listicles and I never remember to post one! Did I really read this correct...there is a bar where you can cycle and drink at the same time!?!?

    1. Well, dear, they're every Monday. Mark your calendar!
      Yes, you read it correctly. Wild, isn't it?

  12. This is so, so, so us. Our yard (1/3-acre lot) is completely a jungle overgrown with weeds, especially with all our recent NW rain...and our house definitely looks like it's been overtaken with squatters. I did a bit of cleaning on Memorial Day itself, but most of the weekend we did everything but clean. I can so relate!!

    1. Good for you! Now, I just wish you lived next door so our yard didn't look so bad. :)

  13. Your choices were so much more fun than yard work! Loved your list!

    1. Mostly because yard work is rarely fun. Butterflies always are.
      Thank you!

  14. I alllllllmost looked up Listicles lol I'd never heard the term before, but then I caught on *taps noggin'* One smart cookie this one is... maybe not 100 worth... but one nonetheless! (also 100 cookies doesn't sound all that excessive haha)

    Your number 4 was having an identity crisis. Not sure I can count it as a solid Listicle... or maybe it's my attempt to bring forth your cussing in the early hours... hard to say ;-)

    Sounds like a great way to waste time and have fun!

    I suspect Phoenix and Star have something to do with the vehicle sabotage!

    Also: I'd love to see a "Bike" bar as I've never heard of one before. You Indies are an odd folk.

    Jak at The Cryton Chronicles & Dreams in the Shade of Ink

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