Christine: So Buttercup, tell me. When did you realize that something had gone terribly wrong outside last night?
Buttercup: When Dad called me.
C: What was the first thing you saw?
B: A pig out of the barn.
C: And what was it doing?
B: Just looking at Dad.
C: Why did he call you outside? What did he want you to do?
B: He yelled at me to grab the barn fence. He used it to corral the pig back to the barn. He also yelled at me to get the barn door open.
C: And Giant, why didn't you go out, too? Perhaps with a camera?
G: I didn't know what was going on. Dad called her, and she went.
C: Did Dad sound panicky?
G: I don't know. I couldn't hear him.
C: How did you not hear him?
G: She was the one who answered the phone.
C: Hold up. He didn't come to the door and yell into the house? He actually called from the yard on his cell phone?
********* The night before ****************
Christine (on the phone): Hi, Honey. Just wanted to make sure someone fed the pigs, since Phoenix isn't home.
H (breathing hard): Yeah, they got fed, but not the way you're thinking.
H: When I got home, there were two pigs in the orchard.
C: Aah! How?
H: They busted through the barn wall. I have to go. I'll tell you about it when you get home.
************** An hour later, Christine pulls up to the house, where she sees her husband rolling a large piece of tree stump down the hill and putting it in front of the barn door. This conversation takes place in the front yard. ************
C: What happened?
H: I put the little kids to bed, then came outside to make sure the pigs had water. I walked around the house, and when I got right about there, (points to the "garage") I saw a pig on its way to the garden. I then saw another one under a tree in the orchard.
C: Where were the dogs?
H: I realized they hadn't figured out the breech of security, so I found Roy and tied him up. Hershey followed me.
C: How'd she do when she saw the pigs?
H: She immediately hopped on one, but stopped when I told her to.
C: How did you get them back in the barn?
H: Well, the first one just ran back in when it saw me, and that is how I figured out their escape route. The second one ran up to me, just to say hello. He then went back to digging around the yard. I used one of the barn slats the pigs knocked out to try and corral the pig, but it wasn't working. I basically just scared it around to the other side of the barn, far away from the hole in the wall. I told Buttercup to get the barn door open and guard it so the others didn't get out. Finally, I just grabbed the pig by the hind legs and drug it back in.
C: You drug it???
H: Yes, and it didn't like it one bit. It was flailing and squealing something awful.
C: So the barn is now fixed?
C: And the tree stump by the barn door?
H: Extra precaution.
**************** After breakfast this morning, a walk around the scene *************
|The hasty repair job on the barn|
**************** and drawings *************
|First indication that something is amiss.|
|Confirmation that yes, something is just not right. (Don't ask me why this pig looks like his parents were an odd pig/elephant mix.)|
|Shocking, really that this tactic didn't work.|
|Pig Wrangler Extraordinaire.|
|The pigs are planning their next escape. There is a big trench dug out right next to the fence. A pig posse has never done this before, so after last night, worry has set in.|
Christine is a fake farmer, mother of 6. Sadly, she was at a soccer game with her third oldest when the above event occurred. Besides the disappointment she felt in not being a part of this new pig adventure, she is mostly appalled with her children. She was heard to yell, "How in the name of all that is good, did not a single one of you think to grab a camera when this all went down??? Have you not learned anything from me?????"
Have a lovely day!