Thursday, March 14, 2013

The Giant Pencil Is Revealed

So, you might recall the day I told you about the very immature conversation about a giant pencil.  The thought of my straight-laced husband using a giant pencil at work just sent us both into hysterics.

When I wrote about it, dearest Considerer immediately got on Amazon and found a giant pencil for me.  I ordered it.  The delivery to his office was to take place somewhere between Feb. 13 and Feb. 20.  I was hoping it would be on the 14th, so I could say it was a Valentine's Day gift.

The 14th came and went.  I didn't say anything to him, as I wanted it to be a surprise.

Each day, I patiently waited for him to call and say, "I got a giant pencil in the mail today."  Or something funnier.  'Cause he's a funny guy.   Each day, I woke up wondering if today would be the day.  Honestly, I was so excited for this stupid pencil to arrive, I can only compare the feeling to "Is this the day?" of waiting to have a baby.

Yes, I was that excited.

The 20th came and went.

Now I was worried that it was lost in the mail somewhere.  Or got delivered to the apartment we lived in 15 years ago.  I looked up the tracking info to discover that it had been delivered to his building on the 13th of February.

I was going to have to ruin the surprise and ask Hubby to track it down.

I called him.

Our conversation went something like this:

Me:  I ordered a giant pencil for you for Valentine's Day and the computer says it was delivered to your office over a week ago.  You're going to have to find it in your building somewhere.

Him:  It's in my desk drawer.


Him:  I got it a while ago.


Him:  I wanted to tell you I got it by sending you a photo.

Me:  I have been patiently waiting for you to receive this pencil for weeks, all excited for the call where you laugh and laugh and tell me how awesome it is, and you are telling me you've had it in your desk drawer for over a week???

Him:  Yes.  If it makes you feel any better, I laugh every time I open my drawer.

Me:  Um, no, it doesn't.  We're supposed to be laughing together.  So why haven't you taken the photo???

Him:  Well, it's not something you can ask just anyone to do.

I had to laugh at that, because it is completely true, and I hadn't thought of it.  The idea of him asking one of the many fuddy-duddy attorneys he works with to take a photo of him at his desk with a giant pencil is hilarious.  Really funny.  Imagine:  Excuse me, Bob, but would you mind coming to my office to take a photo of me with a giant pencil?  Besides the ridiculousness of it, there could be accusations of harassment with a question like that.

Him:  Plus, we just handed out the split decision (He's on the committee that decides every one's pay and bonus for the next year.) and there aren't a lot of people who are happy with me right now.

Me:  Ok, I'll give you that.  But what about your secretary?  She would find it amusing.

Him:  Yeah, there are some things going on with her.  She's not exactly in a position to find humor in much of anything these days.

Me:  Arg.  What about _____?

(Do you love how I'm brow-beating the man to enjoy a gift I gave him?  Because the gift really was all about me.  He doesn't have enough pressure with the office problems.  No, I have to stress him out about getting his photo taken with a giant pencil.   I am the MOST supportive wife.)

Him:  Well, he hasn't been in much, with his son and wife having so many health problems recently.

Me:  Just bring the dang thing home then.  At least I'll get to see it, since you are seriously sucking the fun out of the whole thing.

(Yup, nothing but supportive.)

Him:  No, I'll get a photo.  I promise.

Me:  Whatever.

(I'm around kids all day, and apparently they are rubbing off.)

A few days later, I got an email from Hubby.  The subject line said, "Working hard."


Have a lovely day!


  1. What a good sport!! I totally would've taken that pic :)

  2. Is that pencil longer than his forearm? Love those neat stacks of legal documents. Once upon a time I had a desk that looked like that too, but I failed miserably at practicing law because no one ever sent me a giant pencil.

    1. It just kills me that you were a lawyer in your past life. A desk is no place for you. I picture you in some small town, backwoods courtroom in front of a redneck jury fightin' for your client who just wants his stuffed coon dog back. :)

  3. Do you have to stick it in the garbage disposal to sharpen it?!

    1. Ha! I do believe we have to whittle it down.

  4. That is F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S. The best part is I that I can actually hear the conversation in my mind. :)

  5. Ahhh that's great! Now, the next question - how the heck do your sharpen the thing?

    Also very relieved to hear that marriages where the wife is 'unsupportive' can last - that's one of the ones I often get charged with ;)

    1. Thank you so much for finding it for me!

      My "support" can only last so long. Fortunately, Hubby rarely crosses the line.

  6. LOL! That is one enormous pencil. I'm amazed he managed to last a whole week without telling you it had arrived!

    1. It is much bigger than I anticipated. (That's what she said.)

  7. I snorted when i saw the picture.
    thanks for that


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