Caution: Graphic Photos Ahead

"Mom, you smell like a dead pig."

Buttercup is the first preteen to ever say something like that without getting slapped.

Because it's true.

And I'm disconcerted by the fact that we both know exactly what that smells like.

This morning I went out to feed the pigs, and only three came out to greet me.  My first thought was, "Oh, Dear God, please not again."

I scanned the pen, and found this:

There are no words. 

Or lots of words.

Of the four-letter variety.

Yes, I discovered that overnight a pig drowned himself in the waterer.   Ponder that for a moment.

Or move on to another, cheerier blog.

We don't want to think about what this pig would look and smell like by the end of a 100 degree day.  We needed to resolve this situation quickly.  And by "we" I mean "me."  Hubby doesn't get home from work until 6:30.

Luckily, I have a big, strong teenager who loves his mama and still does whatever she asks.

No way we were going to be able to lift a 200 pound pig out, so we decided to tip the waterer over, pig and all.

When we couldn't get it to budge, I had my light bulb moment.  Two days ago, I noticed that the dirt under the waterer was beginning to erode.  I wedged a big brick underneath to hold the waterer steady until the weekend, when Hubby and I could move it.  That brick is what meant the death of the pig.  If I hadn't have put it there, the waterer would have tipped when the pig struggled. 

More words. 

Of the four-letter variety.

I moved the brick, and we were able to push the pig right on over.

I find it quite embarrassing that as I am doing this manly, hard, disgusting work, I pull a girly pose when the mud splashes on me.  Perhaps there's a little lady hiding inside of me after all.

The pig didn't fall all of the way out, so I had to reach in and grab an ear to pull it out.

That's when Phoenix really got into the melee in order to help me get it out of the mud puddle.   Can you even believe I make my children do these things?

Just because we were out of the puddle didn't mean we were in the clear.  The Dixie Chopper can't fit through the gate of the pen, so we had to drag it all the way over.  My hands got too muddy and couldn't get a grip, so we resorted to a chain.

The pig put up a good fight, but we finally won that little tug of war.

As I go through these photos, I realize that Phoenix wasn't working nearly as hard as I thought.  Like the person riding on the back of a tandem bicycle, he just pretended to help while my muscles strained to the breaking point. 

More words.

Of the four-letter variety.

We finally made it to the gate, and I now see that Phoenix really wasn't helping at all.  He's actually just standing there, holding the chain, looking at me, and probably counting each and every vein breaking in my face.

He is in super big, very bad trouble.

Does this picture look familiar?

Not quite the way I imagined myself riding out into the sunset.

As I was dragging the pig through the gate, Turken, who had watched the entire process from his perch on the fence, asked me, "How are you going to make the pig alive?"

Oh, Honey.

I'm good, but I'm not that good.

Although, I do think I deserve an award. 

As no one has come up with the "Best Dead Pig Wrangler Award", I will be happy with the ones I did get.  While I was on vacation, I came home to find that two lovely ladies had nominated me.  They have similar "rules" so I'm addressing them together. 

My new friend, Suzie, nominated me for the Kreativ Blogger Award.  Suzie is a wonderful mom to an adorable little boy.  She was a middle school teacher before staying home, and she has all sorts of good ideas and stories from her teaching days.



And another friend, Susan, nominated me for the "Very Inspiring Blog".  Susan and I have a lot in common, as she has a few boys and lives on a farm, too.  Now that I have just inspired you to live in the city, go read Susan's blog.  She will inspire you to live the country life the right way.



With each award I am to list seven random things about myself.  Here goes:

1.  I am not a fan of dead pigs, unless the dead pig is in a bunch of neat, little, one-pound wrappers labeled  "sausage."

2.  I do love a Dixie Chopper.

3.  I have come to realize that my oldest child isn't the hard worker I thought he was, but is a lazy slacker who lets his mother think he's helping her drag a 500 pound dead pig half a mile.

4.  My husband is the luckiest man alive.

5.  I need to have a chat with a certain four-year old about life and death.

6.  My daughter is learning to be a pretty good photographer.

7.  I had to type this now, because I will most likely not be able to move a muscle by 4:00 today.

OK, so that wasn't so random. 

Anywho, I now get to nominate some other folks for these awards.  People that I find to be Creative and Inspiring.

So, for the Kreativ Blogger Award, I nominate

The Redneck Mommy

That Nolen Chick

Salt and Serenity

Cup of Tea And a Blog

It Feels Like Chaos

And for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award, I give you:

A Cape Wearing Mom

Everyday Morning

Still Me Only Stronger

Big Happy Nest

Mom to 8 blog

Hugs, Kisses, and Snot

A Homesteading Neophyte

Click, read, enjoy.

As for Phoenix, he also got an award.  Before I saw the photos and after he washed his hands, I let him have a big treat for actually grabbing a dead pig's leg and pulling it out of a mud puddle.

Have a lovely day!