I've had at least one small child with me every single day (minus a couple of childless vacations, of course) for 17 years. All my friends and most everyone else knew Tuesday was going to be a difficult day for me.
Over the weekend, Buttercup asked me, "When we get home on Tuesday, are we going to find you curled up on Cuckoo's bed sobbing into his pillow?"
We all had a good laugh at that joke.
Well, they were hoping it was a joke.
I later found myself thinking about her question, and the hilarious Direct TV commercials came to mind. Have you seen them?
If not, you need to watch one before continuing with this post.
Here's one:
The following is for all my sisters in motherhood sending their babies off to their first day of school.
(And for everyone else who just wants a bit of a chuckle.)
*************************************************
Hi. I'm Christine, and I am content with my youngest starting kindergarten.
And I'm Sad and Pathetic Christine. I can't handle being without a child all day.
I make nutritious dinners that my family will devour when they get home.
I make myself sick eating all of the Little Debbie treats and drinking all of the juice my kids like so much.
I work to finish all of the household improvements we've put off to raise and shuttle children.
I play Trouble, the Star Wars edition, with my imaginary child, and I even let him win sometimes.
I work out in order to get my pre-baby body back.
I go to the playground and try to play with uncooperative strangers' cute kids.
I sit under a tree and catch up on all of the reading I've wanted to do for years.
I read picture books to all of my kids' stuffed animals.
When your youngest goes off to school, don't be like Sad and Pathetic Me. Enjoy the peace and quiet and time to yourself. Just give extra love and kisses to the kids when they get home.
***************************************
And with that, you all know the answer.
What will I do??
Apparently, I'll be making my parents proud by wasting a copious amount of time and energy making ridiculous blog posts.
And because this week's theme is "Good-bye", I'm linking up with Blessed Is She.
Have a lovely day!
Oh my goodness, you have me laughing out loud here! Playing Trouble against your imaginary child? LOVE IT! I am sending our baby off to kindergarten this year too. Somehow we'll hang in there. And look at all the home improvements you're getting done there!
ReplyDeleteWe will do it together. :)
DeleteI am planning on getting lots of things done. We'll see how long before I get bored with it. :)
Glad the post made you laugh.
Think of all those hours where you can do ANYTHING YOU WANT TO AND NO ONE'S THERE TO SEE IT.
ReplyDeleteLove this post. LOVE. IT.
LOL Dyanne! And there's no one there to see it! Best reason ever to get those kiddos into the classroom!
DeleteJust today I walked through to the kids' bathroom naked. Never done that before. I forgot that I had thrown the towels in the washing machine and needed to go get one. No one was home, so I didn't bother with my robe. It felt very odd to do such a thing.
DeleteGlad you liked it. :)
I pretty much love this post! Clever and funny! I'm jealous I didn't think of it first. :)
ReplyDeleteMy first baby is going off to college (we do a pre move-in tomorrow and the final move-in on Friday--long story)... my other two START school tomorrow and I won't be in the morning to see them off. I'm so tired I haven't had time to crack under the pressure of it all.... *sigh* .. a post will surely be forthcoming...
Anyway, I do so love this post! :-D
Oh, I'm glad you liked it.
DeleteI've seen your photos today. I will be bawling like a baby when Phoenix goes in two years. Hope you're doing OK with it all.
I love this post, and the pics are ace.
ReplyDeleteWhen my 'baby' went to full time school at the age of five I joined a couple of local drama societies and a lot of my free time was spent sewing costumes and painting scenery - it certainly helped to keep my mind occupied.
Thank you!
DeleteThat sounds like a great project! Productive, helpful, and mind-occupying.
This is the best back-to-school post ever. I am not surprised though, you write the best posts! Enjoy the opportunity to get some things done that YOU want to do.
ReplyDeleteAw, thank you!
DeleteI'm working on it. I feel like a high school senior. I have almost an unlimited number of things I can do, and now I have to narrow down what exactly I want to do. Eek.
Blogging is good for the soul, isn't it? If one is going to be miserable, might as well find the humor in the situation and make someone else laugh, too. Great post!
ReplyDeleteIt certainly is.
DeleteGlad you liked it. It's worth embarrassing myself to make people laugh. :)
Blogging is good for the soul, isn't it? If one is going to be miserable, might as well find the humor in the situation and make someone else laugh, too. Great post!
ReplyDeleteI so remember this. It doesn't last long and then you start enjoying the freedom. The quiet and the freedom.
ReplyDeleteThanks for making me laugh out loud.
Have a fabulous day. ☺
I'm hoping after a couple of weeks I'll be over my sadness. Crossing my fingers at least.
DeleteYou are welcome. I'm glad I could get someone besides myself to laugh. :)
I had never seen a Direct TB commercial so very happy that you supplied one. Oh how I love to start my day off with a good laugh and this...THIS....thankfully I did not have a mouthful of coffee at the time. ;)
ReplyDeleteI hope you didn't get Cuckoo's pillow toooo wet. :P
I knew you and a couple other readers would be at a loss. :)
DeleteGlad I was able to help with the morning laugh.
I didn't shed one tear on it. :)
Oh man, I love this! Thanks for the laugh :)
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome! Glad you liked it.
DeleteRemember goofus and gallant from Highlights kids magazine? I was thinking of that the whole time!
ReplyDeleteRemember? I have to read it every time we go to the doctor, dentist, and hair salon!
DeleteYou are too kind. :)
ReplyDeleteHahaha! I could barely stop laughing enough to take the photos. The whole idea of it just cracked me up. Can you even imagine if I did go to the playground like that?? :D
LOL. When I finally went off to full-day school, it was 1st grade. My oldest brother was 18 and entering his senior year of high school, so it had been a while since mom had been 'home alone'. She and dad went on a day trip to celebrate... and meanwhile, I broke my wrist on the playground on the first day of school. I lost my mind when they said no one answered the phone at home - "how is that even possible?! My mom is ALWAYS there!" We do enjoy talking about it now :)
ReplyDeletethis is so funny! I remember when my last one went to school too. It is sad. I felt useless...it's very strange. Full-time moms invest so much heart in their jobs, we forget we are going to work our way out of our job! Time will reveal many things to do, and because you are a woman of faith, God will prompt you as well. Wish we were closer, we could have lunch one day! :-)
ReplyDelete