I have poison ivy on both cheeks.
And I don't mean the ones on my face.
It's as unpleasant as it sounds.
Relatedly, I am really hoping that no one actually watches the feeds from security cameras inside Meijer at 10:30 at night.
(As a little aside, to that person (if you exist): Now you know why that lady (well, after this I guess we can give up that "lady" business.) in the flowered dress was scratching her behind through half the aisles while her teen took his sweet time deciding which snacks to take on the bus the next morning. Stop laughing and erase the tape. Now.)
Flashback to Monday:
I had running shorts on for no more than 10 minutes.
I went out to the garden to get some weeding done.
There is no poison ivy in the garden.
I knelt down and immediately remembered that kneeling to weed is painful after about 2 minutes.
But while wearing the shorts, I didn't have a choice. (Sometimes when weeding, I will unearth an unhappy bunch of ants. Not red ants, but plain, old, itty bitty ants. Even so, there is no way I want to sit on the ground in running (think short!) shorts and risk having those itty bitty ants all up in my...shorts.)
I went back to the house to put some long pants on, then went back out to the poison ivy-free garden to pull weeds for over an hour.
Two days later, I'm making a daggum fool of myself, sticking my hindquarters towards my poor husband asking him if it looks like poison ivy.
Because it feels like poison ivy.
How in the name of all that is holy did I get poison ivy on my rear end?!?!?*
That's how my week is going.
How's yours?
*For those of you in the peanut gallery, that is a RHETORICAL QUESTION!!
Don't worry. Fun stuff is happening, too. And I have managed to avoid scratching at times when it would mortify the children. (But they know that if they don't behave themselves, scratching can and will be used as a disciplinary tool.)
Have a lovely day!
Oh, no! Hope you get rid of it soon.
ReplyDeleteYou and me both. :)
DeleteOh no! Feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteThank you. :)
DeleteI suppose you could say '' Oh what a bummer''! lol
ReplyDeleteNever having come into contact with poison ivy I can only imagine what it feels like, even if it wasn't actually that which caused the problem. I hope you manage to get rid of it soon
Ha! I can always count on you to come up with a good joke for me. :)
DeleteNothing to be done but suffer through. It should be gone soon.
I also hope you manage to get to the 'bottom' of the mystery as to how you got it :)
Deletefeel better soon...
ReplyDeleteI'm trying!
DeleteYikes...hope you heal soon!
ReplyDeleteYikes is right. Thank you!
DeleteThis sounds awful and then some. I hope it goes away soon. I do like the idea of using it as a disciplinary tool. I think it would work wonderfully.
ReplyDeleteHave an itch free day. ☺
Well, it isn't fun, I'll say that. :)
DeleteUnfortunately for my kids, I don't get embarrassed easily.
oh no! I hope *both* your itchy areas heal soon ;)
ReplyDeleteHa! It wouldn't be all that much of an improvement if only one area got better. :)
DeleteOh MAN! What a drag! I wanted to much to say "bummer"but someone beat me to it !~Oh and the poison ivy is a drag too! hahahahaha! Get better quickly!
ReplyDeleteWhat? You can't come up with another pun? Come on now... :)
DeleteThanks!
Ohmygoodness, this is SO AWFUL!!!! Poison ivy is miserable in less...private areas. I'm so sorry!
ReplyDeleteI get it every single year, and I keep getting it more and more often. I cover every bit of skin when I mow, yet half the time I still get poison ivy on the inside of my thighs. (Also not a good place to get it, by the way.)
Delete…
ReplyDelete(no. Nothing I can think of, humorous and/or sympathetic seems safely immune to a visual which will totally un-do my efforts to sound like a mature person.)
…there's a song, an old song on this very subject, I'll spare you the direct youtube link, it was by 'The Coasters'…. the line that I'll give lie to all my statements about maturity is….
"You're gonna need an ocean of calamine lotion
You'll be scratchin' like a hound"
Ha! I am surrounded by boys. I'm completely used to immature. :)
DeleteThat is not a real song. Is it?
yes, yes it is!
Deletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRfRITVdz4k
:) ME, TOO!
ReplyDeleteHope it is not impolite to laugh, because, sorry, the image of you in your flowered dress in the grocery store is hilarious. Hope it gets better soon.
ReplyDeleteFeel free to laugh. It was ridiculous. I could not stop itching! It is getting better, thankfully.
DeleteYOUZA!! I don't want to jinx myself so I'm not gonna write it. Nope. Not gonna.
ReplyDeleteObviously you are not up on your horticulture. ;)
That's the thing! I'm nowhere near any poison ivy! I get it out of the air! Even when I'm mowing (with a riding lawn mower!) with long pants and long sleeve shirt and knee-high boots, never touching anything but the mower, I still get poison ivy on my legs. It is horrible!! (But yeah, I still can't pick out poison ivy plants all that well...)
Delete