My Mom Suggested I Stop Blogging...

Not because she doesn't like reading it and seeing the photos of her grandkids, but because she thinks having a blog has tempted Fate into overloading me with plenty of blog fodder.  I didn't agree with her until just now, this evening, as I sit and finish the post I started 10 hours ago.

To illustrate her point, I give you the story of my Monday.

One, single, unbelievable day.

It will take at least three posts to tell you what happened.

I'm not even kidding.

******************************

I slammed the ripped, torn, chewed, and otherwise shredded wires on the counter saying, "Will driving without these cause harm to my family or the general public driving on the open road around us?"

The Ford service guy simply looked at me with a "Please explain" look upon his face.

"Well, see, I had just told my 4 year old to get his shoes on.  We were making an unexpected trip to Tractor Supply to buy some needles and syringes, seeing as how my 4 pigs I got 3 short weeks ago have come down with a case of pneumonia.  As I put my shoes on, I heard the dogs giving their "I'm going to get you!" bark.  The sound came from the vicinity of my van.  I knew immediately that I was not going to like what I saw when I got to them.

I was right.  As I got close to the scene, I heard the sound of an animal squealing and scurrying around the undercarriage of my van.  For the sake of this conversation, we'll call the animal a squirrel.  The squirrel was "in" my van, and the dogs were trying their best to save the van.  By ripping it to shreds.  These wires were all over the ground."

The Ford service guy slowly picked up a wire piece with a grin upon his face.  As he inspected the piece, turning it this way and that, the grin became a full on smile.  As he picked up another piece, he could hold it back no longer.  With a chuckle, he asked, "Are any dash lights on?"

"Um, just about all of them.  And there is an incessant blaring of an alarm.  For every 5 minutes of quiet, there is one minute of (as my 4 year old said, "Mom!  Mom!  It sounds like the car is saying) 'larm alert!  'larm alert!  It is rather annoying."

Before the service guy could say, "We'll take it and have a look," the guy who took my call 15 minutes prior came into the room.  He barely managed to contain his guffaw as he commented, "Ah, the squirrel attack."

So I told them, "Oh, and I can't guarantee that it was a squirrel, nor that it actually ran out of its hiding place under the van.  You may want to protect your face when you look up."

Cuckoo and I then spent 2 hours playing Uno, cancelling a dentist appointment, and getting a ride for Turken after kindergarten.  We also walked to the only restaurant which didn't require a walk of Cuckoo death across 6 lanes of major road.  Steak - n- Shake.

I had a steak(burger).  And a shake.

Duh.

Side note:  The way to get kids to be grateful for things is to never give them anything.  When Cuckoo found out he was going to be allowed to take home the paper hat, the paper car, the placemat, and the 2 little crayons, he was happier than he ever was at Christmas.  "I get to take ALL of this home?!?!?!"

After lunch, we walked back to Ford, where the service guy wasn't laughing anymore.  I think he actually felt bad when he broke the news about the four hours of work and almost $600 it would take to get the van fixed.

Probably not as bad as me, though.

I had to go back to my original question.  "But if I drive it, will it be dangerous?  I don't really have 4 more hours to stay here.  You know, 6 kids and 4 pigs with pneumonia and all."

I got the all clear to drive away, but made an appointment on Wednesday for the repairs.

We won't miss the appointment.

They couldn't turn that blasted alarm off, so it comes back on screaming, "Fix your van!  Right now!  Fix your van!  Right now!"  every five minutes.  It is almost as annoying as Turken hollering, "I hate that noise!  Oh, I hate that noise!" the entire time, every time, that alarm continues to beep.

Now, about those sick pigs...

I'll have plenty of time to write the post on Tuesday.   You'll find out why in Post 3.

Have a lovely day!