My Mom Suggested I Stop Blogging, Part 3; or For the Love of All That Is Holy, Will This Day Ever End??

So, to recap my Monday thus far...*

1.  I realized the pigs had pneumonia.
2.  My van was torn apart by the dogs as they desperately tried to get the squirrel which had scurried into the undercarriage.
3.  I spent 2 hours at the car service place, missing a dentist appointment and the picking up of Turken from kindergarten, only to be told it would take up to 4 more hours and lots of money to fix the van.
4.  I left without getting it fixed just yet, and thus had to listen to the awful alarm going off in the van screaming at me to FIX IT NOW!
4.  (You didn't know this part.)  I spent an hour with the kids at the pediatrician's office for checkups for 2 kids.  Found out that Buttercup grew 3 inches last year, and that there is now a slight curve in her back.  When Turken gets his follow-up x-ray, Buttercup will be getting one of her back.
4.  I gave 2 pigs shots by myself while everyone was at school and work.
5.  I made my kids assist me in giving shots to the other 2 pigs.

Now that you're caught up, we can get to the next part of my day...

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It was the parents vs. kids soccer game at school on Monday night.

There were signs that I should have skipped the game.  Or at least walked off the field after the game started.

There are always signs.

The first sign was over a year ago when I injured my ankle during a volleyball game.  It was a bit of a red flag that said "Hey, Doofus!  You're getting to old for this!"

I completely ignored it.

The second sign was the tangle I got into with another mom.  We were both on defense, and we both went after a kid trying to score.  I was running behind her, and my foot got tangled up with hers.  We both went down.  She landed first, then I landed on her legs.

Where she got cleats, I'll never know, but I know she had them on.  One of them hit me right between the legs.  The pain of getting cleated in the lady parts had me seeing stars.  As I stood up and staggered around the field, I just kept asking her, "Am I bleeding or did I pee my pants?"  She was laughing.  I was trying to discreetly check my shorts while approximately 35 people played soccer around me.

Let me just say, that is not as easy as it sounds.

But did I leave the field?

Of course not.

I am a doofus of epic proportions.

I am way more competitive than any 42 year old, out of shape woman should be.

I "rubbed some dirt on it" and got back to playing.

A ball was kicked far into the parents' side of the field.

There was only one 8th grade boy running for the ball.

I knew I could beat him.

I took off at full speed.

Just as I got to the ball, my foot planted.

My body twisted.

I felt things ripping and tearing and stretching all up and down the outside of my right leg.

I landed in a heap on the grass.

I grabbed my knee and began rolling from side to side, trying not to cry.

Adults came to stand around and look at me.

I wailed.

"I'm going to need to go to the hospital!  This is really bad!  Oh, it hurts!"

Bryan came to kneel next to me.

He leaned on both knees to ask what hurt.

I almost punched him as I yelled, "DON'T TOUCH ME!"

One of the parents is a fireman, so he came to do his EMT duty.

Basically, he sat next to me to see if I was going to need CPR at any point.

After a couple of minutes, the pain lessened.

I started to think things might not be as bad as I first thought.

EMT and Bryan actually got me into a standing position.

To the crowd of adults, I simply said, "Well, that was dramatic."

I was drug/ I hobbled over to the sidelines and the game continued without me.

After the game, I hobbled over to the picnic shelter for the team pitch-in.

That is when I heard everyone's stories of my fall.  Things like...

"I saw you go down, and I knew you weren't getting back up for a while."

"I heard your leg pop."  (Three people said this.)

"I thought you had flopped and were just faking at first."

Really helpful stuff.

The rest of the week has been full of pain meds, doctor appointments, an MRI, swelling, and time on the couch.

On Monday I will meet with the doctor again to discuss the results of the MRI.

Pray that it isn't a tear requiring surgery.

I know you are all dying to know if I beat the kid to the ball.

Yes.  Yes, I did.

*I just realized that I'm going to write just as many posts about Monday as I did about our entire week-long vacation.  I don't think that's a good  thing.

Have a lovely day!