Home, Sweet, Broken-Down Home

Home ownership can be a big pain in the neck.

Home ownership with a gaggle of children makes me want to live in a shack with nothing of value.

Or at least make them live in a shack in the backyard, so I can live in a house that has a couch with intact springs.

Alas, the "shack" is full of chickens, so in the house the children must stay.  Add their destructive selves to the normal home repairs all home owners have to deal with, and you will find a house with a need-to-do list the length of a football field.

Would you like some examples?

That was a rhetorical question.  All photos were taken this morning.  I would not suggest starting your day by taking inventory of all the broken things in your home.  It is a tad depressing.

1.  This queen-sized bedroom set was purchased when we first married.  It is broken, not because of the wild, nighttime escapades of COW and me, but because of our children who like to come into our bed on weekend mornings and "sleep" with us.  When they were little, it was more of a "climb all over Mommy and Daddy, making sure to step on their heads, pull their hair, and thrust a knee into their guts while getting comfortable and in a spot far away from the touch of any sibling" than it was a "sleep".  So far, no one's head has been punctured by the nails jutting out.  I guess crossing your fingers actually works.

2.  The boys were playing basketball in the house.

3.  A child in time-out decided he didn't like the wallpaper.

4.  All three of the light bulbs in the porch light are out, and we are unable to replace them until the Polar Vortex goes back to the tundra from which it came.  Changing the bulbs means COW has to climb a 30-ft. ladder, which is a tad too dangerous to do in the ice and wind and cold.  With the lack of light, I have become quite adept at pretending I'm blind as I navigate the pitch-black upstairs and attend to children who lost their blankies in their sleep.  Or had a nightmare about a snake in his bed.  Or needs zipped back into his suitcase.

See that door up there?  The light normally shines through there to illuminate the landings outside the kids' doors.

5.  Apparently, the best way to dry one's hands after washing is to grab onto the towel and swing from the towel bar.

6.   The boys found the confiscated basketball and played basketball in the house.

7.   A child walking up the stairs saw a teeny, tiny bit of wallpaper had begun to peel off and thought he should remove it.

8.  The sensors on the back of the van don't work in the middle of a monsoon-like storm, so the driver of the van, returning from the store with a trunk-load of groceries, didn't know she was too close to the porch steps until she heard and felt the crunch.

9.  Seems children can't hear or remember their mother's plea to, "GET OFF THE RAILING!!!!".

10.  When the boys couldn't find the confiscated basketball, they chose to play soccer in the house instead.

This partial tour of our should-be shack is brought to you by Stasha's Monday Listicles, where the topic for today is "10 Things in Your House Which Need to Be Fixed".  I'm the one who suggested it in a moment of weakness as I sat and looked at our unfinished game room and the living room's missing fireplace under the mantel.

What sorts of things are on your "Fix Someday" list?  Please tell me you have a "Fix Someday" list of things to do, and some of those things have been on the list for over a year or two.  Lie if you must.

Have a lovely day!